Her Silent Killer

Chapter 30

Me: "I-I can't." I finally answered him after getting over my shock of his sudden proposal. He pulled my head back so I could look him in the eyes.
Kumkani: "Why not?" He demanded to know. I swallowed.
Me: "T-t-the way I am right now, I'm not fit yet to be somebody's wife."
Kumkani: "Not somebody's wife. My wife." God!
Me: "Y-you know that's what I meant."
Kumkani: "Can't accept no for an answer."
Me: "King-."
Kumkani: "Be my wife little beauty." I shook my head.
Me: "I can't be. Not until I'm better."
Kumkani: "Beautiful-."
Me: "Please." I interrupted him... "please King. When I'm better I'll be your wife." I told him... "I'm still too broken at the moment. I would ruin our marriage if we would get married." He scowled, not happy. My heart was also not happy with me but I couldn't follow what my heart wanted. I had to use my brain. It knew better.
Kumkani: "There's no such thing-."
Me: "There is." I interrupted him again... "for instance I'm not near ready for...for...." I swallowed... "for sex." I forced the word out of my mouth... "how can I be your wife when I can't even give you that-."
Kumkani: "You think that's the reason why I want you to be my wife? For sex?" He spitted the word out like it disgusted him.
Me: "Then if not for...sex....then for what?" Something like hurt flashed into his eyes and then his whole face changed. He removed himself from me and got off the bed and stood with his back to me. His body was tense. I sat up slowly on the bed... "K-King?"
Kumkani: "I can't believe you just said that to me." His voice was different. Cold.
Me: "King, I-I-."
Kumkani: "You just insulted me!"
Me: "I-I didn't mean-."
Kumkani: "Is that how you see me?" He turned to me fast and my heart constricted in pain because of the hurt I could clearly see now in his eyes ... "is that how you think of me beautiful?" His voice. God! What had I done?
Me: "K-king-."
Kumkani: "That I'm this sex crazed bastard who would ask you to be his wife only just because I want sex from you?"
Me: "I-."
Kumkani: "If the only thing I was after was sex I would've been out there fucking every other women and not be bothering myself with proposing to you to be my wife. But I'm not doing that because I don't want those other women. I want you. Only you. You and your broken self." He told me... "I know in my heart and soul that there would never be another woman for me on this earth besides you. You're it for me beautiful." He told me hitting his chest... "so that's why I want to hurry and rope you in and keep you for myself forever so that every man in this godforsaken world would know that you're mine and mine alone!" I was no longer on the bed now. I tried to reach him but he backed away shaking his head... "but how could you think that the only reason I would want to marry you is for sex? How? When I'm the person that knows your pain the most, how could you think that?"
Me: "King I'm sorry I wasn't thinking-." He released and empty laugh.
Kumkani: "Well...it's not like I can really blame you can I? I mean I am after all the son of a rapist." No no no! Please please please!
Me: "King please-."
Kumkani: "So how could I blame you? Of course you would think that the only thing that a son of a rapist monster would want is sex-."
Me: "King please!" I screamed and went to hug him around the waist squeezing him tightly as tears streamed down my face... "I'm sorry I'm sorry. I was wrong King. Please. I was wrong. Please don't ever say that about yourself. You're nothing like that monster. Please. You're nothing like him. You hear me?" He said nothing. The way his body was shaking though guys, I really deserved to die for hurting him like this... "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I was wrong. Please. I know you don't want to get married to me for sex. I know that. I trust you. I know you would never force me to do anything I don't want to do. I love you King. I'm sorry. I'm worthless and broken-."
Kumkani: "Stop."
Me: "I'm sorry please forgive me. I know that I should be thanking my lucky stars to have you propose to me, a person who is broken and damaged goods-."
Kumkani: "Stop!" He yelled angrily... "don't insult yourself like that. Don't like it." He told me... "even if you're broken and damaged, you're mine, and I love you as you are. That won't ever change." Oh my God! My King!
Me: "I'm so sorry King." He said nothing. He removed my arms from around his waist.
Kumkani: "I'm going to go out for some air for a bit-."
Me: "King please-."
Kumkani: "I'm fine beautiful." He wasn't fine. I could see it on his face.
Me: "You're not-."
Kumkani: "I won't be long. I just need a minute alone. Go sit with the others in the family room-." I shook my head.
Me: "Don't leave me. Let's go together please-." He shook his head.
Kumkani: "I'll be back."
Me: "King-." He was already out the room. My knees got weak and I fell to the floor. I really hated myself right now. What had possessed me to say what I had said? Even now that I think about it, what I had said was not at all how I thought and felt. I knew the king would never want to marry me for sex or even pressure for sex but why had I said it? The truth was, I had been scared. His proposal had really took me by surprise. Hadn't expected it at all. I mean it had been right after the break down I just had in front of his whole family. Who would've thought that he would propose right then? Thinking about the way he had said "be my wife" made me shiver. It hadn't sounded like it had been request when he had said it. It had been more like an order. Yeesh! I hadn't changed my mind. I still wanted to get better before I could be his wife. It's just that I shouldn't have said the other thing I had said. The king hadn't deserved such from me. I had hurt the king bethu. What was I going to do? I brought my knees up to my chest and the door opened. I looked up thinking it was him but it was only Busi. I sighed sadly.
Busi: "Can I come in?" This woman was nice. For her to even ask permission to enter when this was her house! I mean, I was the guest here. I nodded and she entered closing the door and joined me on the floor. We sat there in silence until I felt the need to break it.
Me: "Did you guys hear?"
Busi: "Isi had been eavesdropping on you guys so...yeah she told us what kind of went down." I groaned in misery and embarrassment. Now everybody knew what horrible thing I had said to the king... "I'm sorry for my daughter's rudeness. She shouldn't have eavesdropped in your private conversation like that." I shook my head.
Me: "It's fine."
Busi: "It's not. She's going to apologize to you later on-." I shook my head.
Me: "She doesn't need to. It's really fine."
Busi: "Okay but she's still going to apologize." This woman. I couldn't help but to puff out a laugh... "what's funny?" She asked frowning.
Me: "You?"
Busi: "Me?" She pointed to herself. I nodded.
Me: "You're just so nice."
Busi: "Oh." She smiled... "I guess I am." We looked at each other and then we both laughed. I think it's safe to say that I liked the king's mother.
Me: "I'm such a horrible person." I said groaning in misery... "I deserve death for what I said to him."
Busi: "No you don't."
Me: "Yes I do." I argued... "I hurt him."
Busi: "Yes you did but he'll be fine. He's a big boy after all."
Me: "Did you see where he went?" I asked after a short while.
Busi: "He left with his father and brothers. I'm sure they're out there helping him relieve his hurt by shooting people or things or whatever they do." I looked at her with wide eyes... "what?"
Me: "Is that what they normally do when one of them is hurt or something? They go around shooting people and things?"
Busi: "Yes." Oh my God!
Me: "Are you being serious right now?"
Busi: "Yes." She said with a straight face and then she broke out in laughter pointing to my face... "oh my gosh your face! Classic!"
Me: "You really know how to play rough." I said with my hand on my beating chest. She carried on laughing.
Busi: "The shooting at people part was a joke but the shooting at things part wasn't. We like to shoot at things when we're stressed or hurt in this family."
Me: "Even you?"
Busi: "Yes, even me."
Me: "You're not playing with me again are you?" She laughed shaking her head.
Busi: "No I'm not mntanam." Wow!
Me: "So you can shoot a gun?" She nodded.
Busi: "I can also kick ass so watch out don't get on my wrong side." I swallowed thickly.
Me: "I won't." She smiled laughing a bit.
Busi: "You're so gullible my child." She told me brushing my head in a motherly manner... "you remind me of my younger self a little."
Me: "I do?" She nodded... "in what way?"
Busi: "Um..." She shrugged... "can't put it in words. But you just do." I said nothing to that... "now don't worry about King, he'll be fine by the time he comes back."
Me: "You're sure?" She nodded.
Busi: "Hundred percent." I really hoped so... "now tell me what that son of mine said when he proposed to you." She said after a short while. I told her and then she burst out laughing covering her face... "oh gosh! He's so much like his father it's unnatural." She said... "what's worse is that I specifically told them all to never ever propose to a woman like how their father had proposed to me." She told me... "Uyi had proposed the same way to his wife 2 years ago so talked to King and Ntsiki to not do as their father and brother had done but now King has gone and done the same thing. My Lord! There no hope for Ntsikie is there?" She asked... "he'll do the same thing won't he?"
Me: "Probably." I told her laughing.
Busi: "Zano has ruined my kids." She said shaking head stressed. So her husband's name was Zanoxolo.
Me: "But I must admit that it was a bit hot the way he asked me. 'Be my wife'.." I said trying to imitate how the king said it and Busi laughed.
Busi: "It was wasn't it?"
Me: "Did your husband propose using the the exact words as King?" She shook her head.
Busi: "No." She giggled... "let me think. What did the giant say again? Errr....oh oh oh now I remember!" She said excitedly. I was excited with her waiting for her to tell me... "he was like 'I'm going to make you my wife'..." She said in this deep voice imitating her husband.
Me: "Ohhhh that's definitely hot!"
Busi: "I know right?!" Her eyes were shining as she giggled like a school girl... "I remember that day like it was yesterday." She sighed and shook her head... "now that I think about it maybe the way they propose is not that bad." I nodded.
Me: "Not at all." And then we both giggled. The door opened and Isi and Chrissy entered.
Isiqhamo: "Why are you guys laughing so much? Tell me, I also want to laugh!" She said sitting down on the floor with Chrissy.
Busi: "Apologize first."
Isiqhamo: "Mama-."
Busi: "No don't Mama me. Apologize to Khazie for eavesdropping. I didn't raise you like that."
Isiqhamo: "Okay Mama I heard you." She looked at me. I could already see the apology on her face... "I'm sorry Khazimle for eavesdropping on your private conversation with King. It was rude and unbecoming of me." I had to laugh at the unbecoming part. When I laughed Isiqhamo smiled big... "you forgive me right?" I nodded... "ohh thank you thank you." She said pulling me in for a hug. It was weird how all the reservations I had about being touched had gone out the window with them. My skin didn't crawl and I didn't feel any uncomfortableness. So weird. I patted her back and we both pulled apart... "okay Mom I apologized and Khazie had forgiven me now tell me what were you guys giggling about when we came in with Chrissy." Her mother laughed and then we began to tell her and in the end she was also laughing and sharing to me how her husband had proposed. Her husband had gone all out when he had proposed to her. There had been roses, candles, champagne, music...the whole shebang. So she had kind of lucked out on getting a romantic proposal not like me and her mother. But I had liked the king's proposal. It's just a pity that I didn't say yes. The 4 of us sat there for the longest time chatting and sharing fun stories and it was nice, it distracted me from worrying and thinking about the king.