Her Silent Killer

Chapter 52

Me: "I want to go home." I said after a very long while. We were lying on the floor.
Kumkani: "What do you mean? This is your home."
Me: "I mean, I want to go to my parents'." I told him... "I think I'll spend the whole weekend there."
Kumkani: "My moon please-."
Me: "I just want to be with my parents Kumkani!" I snapped. To be specific, I wanted my mother. I don't know why but I just wanted, actually, I needed my mother's care and love right now. The king went quiet. I couldn't see his face since I had my back to him... "I'll be back...I just..." I exhaled. How could I explain how I was feeling to him?
Kumkani: "Okay fine. I'll take you."

We were on our way to my parents'. Even though we cried our eyes out with the king, I was no where near to feeling better. I still felt broken and empty. Some of you might judge and say why I was being the way I was when I hadn't even known that I had been pregnant when the baby died. Well, let me tell you, that didn't matter. Even if I hadn't known and bonded with my baby, a loss was a loss bethu. Ask anyone who is a mother or has lost their unborn child...they would tell you the same. The whispers were not as loud as they were before. I hugged myself as I stared out the window with tears brimming in my eyes. I blew out a shaky breath. I'm so sorry baby. Mommy is really really sorry that she couldn't protect you.

Mother: "And then, what are you both doing here? Is everything okay-."
Me: "Mama..." I cried as I ran to go hug her. And because she knew everything, she wrapped her arms around me tightly. My mother's warmth and scent did something to me, and I started to sob and sob until I couldn't anymore and I was completely drained. When I noticed that the king had left, a part of me felt bad towards him but I couldn't focus on that now. I just couldn't.
Mother: "Funny how before you arrived I was just thinking about you. I was waiting for your father to come back from work so that we could both go check up on you." I was now on the floor with my head on her lap as she brushed my hair gently. I closed my eyes hugging her leg to my chest... "I've been thinking and regretting a lot." She told me... "maybe, I shouldn't have given my blessing back then for you to marry Kumkani." She breathed... "I had really thought that your life will be peaceful with him in it but instead it got worse. You almost lost your life and on top of that you lost...your precious little one." My heart constricted painfully... "my pitiful grandchild people...yhini." Her breath hitched... "God must really hate me."
Me: "Mama..."
Mother: "No, he really must hate me Khazie sweetie because I don't know why he would allow all these horrendous things to keep on happening to you. What did we ever do?" Since I had no answer to her question I kept quiet. We sat like that for a very very long time and then she told me to go lie down for a bit, and that she would make me something to eat. When I told her that I wasn't hungry she wasn't having any of it. Since I didn't have any energy to argue, I just did as she told me.

I was curled up on bed when my phone vibrated next to me. It was a text. It was from Tasha. "I couldn't get myself to come visit you at the hospital because I really didn't know what I would say to you when I saw you. I'm sorry my friend. So so sorry. I know saying that won't make you feel better but I'm sorry nonetheless. I don't know why life keeps on taking a crap on your face but I know one thing. You're a very strong person. You've gotten through worse, so this too shall pass. I love you bitch. Don't give up on your life!" I put my phone face down on my pillow as I bit my lip trying to hold back my tears. Would the agony I was in ever go away? Was there any point of me living if I was going to continue to suffer like this?

The time was around 9pm now. I had forced myself to eat dinner. I was now cuddled with my mother in bed. My father was downstairs. When he had arrived earlier on, he had held me in his arms without saying anything. My mind went to the king. Now I felt really bad for shutting him out as I did. It had also been his baby. So he was feeling the same pain and torture I was.
Me: "Mama?"
Mother: "Yes sweetness?"
Me: "Do you think I'm a terrible wife?" She pulled back and looked at me.
Mother: "Why would you ask that?" I shrugged sniffing.
Me: "I blamed him, and because of that I shut him out Mama, when it wasn't even his fault that we lost our baby in the first place." I confessed... "instead of opening myself so that we could comfort one another, I chose to come here. I practically left him Mama." I groaned miserably... "I'm such an awful person. How could I do that to him?"
Mother: "Khazie my child don't be hard on yourself. It's understandable that you would-."
Me: "He must be feeling all alone in that big house." I suddenly sat up... "no, this won't do. I need to go home to my husband."
Mother: "Khazie-."
Me: "I'm sorry Mama but I need to be with him right now." I said putting on my shoes... "you and Dad don't need to bother in taking me home. I'll just call an Uber." I said unlocking my phone.
Mother: "You won't need an Uber."
Me: "Mama-."
Mother: "Kumkani didn't leave."
Me: "What?"
Mother: "I said he didn't leave. He has been parked outside the yard this whole time."
Me: "What?" My mother chuckled a little shaking her head.
Mother: "Your father and I tried to get him to come inside but he refused the both of us saying that he was fine with waiting by the car until you were ready to go back home with him." Oh my God! Oh my God! I dashed downstairs and ran out the house. And as my mother had said, the king's car was parked outside the yard. Actually, it was parked right by the gate. I stood there not knowing what to do. His door opened and he exited the car.
Me: "W-Why didn't you go h-home?"
Kumkani: "Because you're here." Lendoda! I bit my lip hard as tears spilled out my eyes.
Me: "Don't you hate me?" He shook his head.
Kumkani: "I could never hate you beautiful."
Me: "You should...I'm a terrible wife." He shook his head.
Kumkani: "Come to me." I opened the gate and went to him. He said nothing as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs.
Me: "K-King I'm sorry." He shook his head.
Kumkani: "Are you ready to go home now my moon?" I nodded. He smiled... "good. Let's go."

Me: "You took them didn't you?"
Kumkani: "Yes."
Me: "I want you to take me to them."
Kumkani: "I will but not now."
Me: "Why?"
Kumkani: "It's still not the right time yet." I huffed.
Me: "King I need to see them. They have to tell me why they did what they did."
Kumkani: "I know beautiful and I promise you'll get all the answers that you need from them. But first let me tie up some loose ends okay?" He gave me a squeeze... "you still trust me don't you?"
Me: "Yes."
Kumkani: "Then trust."
Me: "Okay." He pulled my head back and kissed me hard... "when I was still unconscious, you must've suffered a lot all by yourself." His jaw tightened as torment filled his eyes... "and then again when I awoke and shut you out."
Kumkani: "Beautiful-."
Me: "I keep on hurting you and for that I'm really sorry my King." He shook his head.
Kumkani: "You were right to behave the way you did. It's all my fault. I didn't protect the both of you."
Me: "I'm the one who drank the wine even after what that bitch said what she said to me."
Kumkani: "You should've told me."
Me: "I should've. But at that time I really thought nothing of it."
Kumkani: "In the future, make sure to tell me everything even if it might seem insignificant."
Me: "I will." He gave a satisfactory nod and placed his lips on my forehead.
Kumkani: "Are the whispers inside your head gone now?"
Me: "You knew?" I asked surprised.
Kumkani: "Of course." He really knew me this husband of mine... "so?" I sighed.
Me: "They haven't gone away. They're still there." He frowned in concern... "I'll find a way to close them out again. But it will take time to do so this time."
Kumkani: "I think we need to be more serious in searching for a therapist."
Me: "For the both of us?" He nodded. I said nothing.
Kumkani: "My mother suggested one for us. She's an old white woman. Apparently she used to counsel both of my parents. Even though she's now retired, she said she could counsel us both if we wanted." He told me... "I already did a background check on her, she's the real deal and trustworthy. So I think we should consider her." I still said nothing... "little beauty?"
Me: "After what happened with Dr. Nongogo, I don't think I'll be able to trust another therapist ever again."
Kumkani: "I know. But still, we should give it a try. Don't you think?" He brushed my face... "we really need to talk to someone...especially now that we've..." He trailed off swallowing thickly.
Me: "What's the therapist's name?"
Kumkani: "Dr. Sherman." I sighed.
Me: "Let me think about it okay?"
Kumkani: "Okay."

It was 2 weeks later and we were at some warehouse with the king's family. And when I say the king's family, I meant everyone bethu. When we got here fights had broken out amongst the cousins and a few of the king's uncles. They shouted and yelled over one another and some even tackled each other to the floor. Yes you heard me right. Tackled. The king, his father and George (he was technically the king's grandfather since he was married to Sis' Lindeka) were able to put a stop to everything and people somewhat settled down. In front of us there were two huge cages. I've never seen cages that were as huge as these ones. In one, there was Hlumelo, Siphe, Dinaledi, Yolanda and the unmarried women. They didn't look too good. And in the other, there were about eleven men I didn't know and their condition was way way worse than the women.
Kumkani: "Okay, now that everyone has calmed down, let's begin." .......