My school is full of straight people and the only lgbtqia people are upperclassman, in a relationship, or not my type aka female or non-binary. Maybe I'm just scared of going after guys that are older than me or maybe I'm just being too picky.
Now in days I try to keep to hallway crushes and try not too get attached but thats so hard when I fall as soon as a guy smiles or laughs with me.
That same quarterback that shook my hand weirdly I fell for, Reily. His voice, height, fluffy hair, the rings he wore, and how kind he ended up becoming to me. When I dropped my phone he would pick it up and give it to me. He was the first person to say goodbye when the football season ended. Even now I can't tell if I still like him or not so I just ignore it and drown myself in work.
The next guy I fell for was in honours english class. He had the warmest smile I had ever seen and fluffy hair that made him look so hot. I asked one of my friends to ask his type and he replied with women. So I went through a depressive episode and slowly got over him.
The next guy I fell for was because my friend sent me a video of him. I hadn't seen him irl but he was so hot. He has fluffy hair with the body of Toji Fushiguro. I later saw him all over school and soon I learned he was a junior. Theres a poster of him on the waterpolo team on the pool deck. I later learned thats he's bisexual and flirted with a freshman boy. Sadly he's in a relationship, so even though I still simped for him I slowly gave up. I ended up giving him the nickname of pilot because for halloween he dressed up as pilot with a suit and everything.
I did ask one guy out and obviously he was straight and only saw me as a friend. After 8th grade I got dared to ask a guy how big he is in bed he joking responded with 12 inches then never said anything else to me. One of my friends warned me that some guys are gonna pretend to ask me out. They said their friend was too sacred to ask me out. I told them sorry I'm not interested and am currently only interested in books. Which was a lie because I was simping over pilot and a certain athlete.
YOU ARE READING
Growing Up Gay
Non-FictionThis is basically my journal, so listen to all the bullshit I've been though and how I've dealt with it. From bad parents to homophobes at school. I've gone through a lot so come and see my journey through high school. ⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️ language...
