Growing Up Gay

Reflection and Pining Ch. 12

Unlike March, April had some fun to it. Although it was bittersweet as well. The sad part was my favourite sport ended. As I have said before if you treat me right I will spoil you. So at the end of my season I brought donuts for the people on the throw team. I took pictures with my senior friends and cried myself to sleep knowing that I won't see them again.
Lately I have gotten close with some of the football guys as we share many classes. We have also been put into groups together and helped each other get better grades. Anyways I have been given so much tea lately as I get it from the gays and the fuckbois. Like one of the guys is trying to get with middle schoolers.
Well does anyone remember Reily from chapter 5 and 10? Well guess what I was talking with a trusted soured aka another fuckboi and he said that "Reily isn't a guy should fall for". He was telling this to a girl and I was like okay sis spill.
       He first started with telling the girl about me and how I got bullied for being gay. He said that Reily was friends with those guys and joined in. He supported that and even bullies a special ed kid with them. He goes on further to day that Reily himself just has a trashy personality and constantly reposts the most incel shit on tiktok. By incel I mean sexist.
I talked to the girl as well and said she could do better. I said he's a mask-fisher aka would look way better with a mask on. Side note a lot of the guys at my school were mask-fishers and now I see what how ugly they really are. Although there are those really ugly guys but there's also some pretty and aesthetic guys. Sorry for the side tangent she could honestly do way better.
       This hurt to be honest to think that one of the few guys that I thought weren't homophobic was actually rooting for my downfall. I though he was kind when really he was one of the ugliest person I meet.
       After this happened I realised I fall for people way to easily and run toward red flags. I now use this as a learning moment to think a bit before falling but as they say "love is blind". I am so thankful to all my friends who have stuck with me and kept me going. I also need to thank the guys that treat me like a human.
       As I have said I got closer to the football guys. I got stuck in a group project with them and had to carry the project as they acted dumb while writing fortnite stuff on the research doc. The good part is that there was a girl in my group. She out the finishing touches on to the doc and while I put my soul into making the google slides look amazing.
PE actually was fun for a bit as we did kickball for a week. The only thing was that the boys got toxic so I got a bit more evil. As I moved the base so they can't do a home run. I even delayed a game by kicking the ball out from under a fuckboi. I even got one of them into a choke hold when they tried to do a home run.
       I talked about how I one of the guys I liked was actually trash but I recently fell for two new guys. I got over one all ready since I just thought he was pretty but the other one has a grip on me and a friend.
       This guy is named Connor we gave him the code name pearls since he's a bougie bitch. The boy wears expensive clothing and pearls. He dresses almost like a skater. Wearing rings, a necklace, nikes, and he understands fashion. The thing is this boy is so fucking pretty and he has abs. One of my friends recorded a video of him in a swimsuit. Oh and yes the same Connor from chapter 10.
       The thing about him is that I think hr might be Bi as he dresses like it and even walks like it. He also has been giving me and a friend the double take. We have seem to grabbed his attention as he loves to look at us. Its not hard to see why when you have two sexy latins working their curvy magic.
       Another little tidbit is that my friend managed to memorise his entire schedule from his classes to how he gets home. I also have seen his parents as I saw them at gamestop. His dad is white while his mom is asian, he also has a cute little brother. They are all hella bougie with their white tesla and shit.
       I got into a fight with my mom and almost outed myself as she said that there is one natural way of life. She said things about the Bible and that emotions are clouding my judgment.
       She said the bible was they way and I responded with you believe in a hoe's lie while I believe in peer reviewed studies that have shown how life have progressed. I even cited that nature makes backups for everything and in nature gay animals will take care of orphans. She said I should be more honest with her but I won't reveal the fact I'm gay till I leave that house forever.
       I had another battle of wits that left with me losing as I made her forget about football until she went to a meeting and learned that they started it again. Heres the thing its after school and my house is walking distance so I just walk home.
       About that meeting I was there and a lot of the parents hated the merch. So my mom got pictures of old gear as it looks cooler and since they be having problems with copyright laws. She also said to them if needed she has an artist (me) to make new designs and that she has a cricket to make demos of the shirts.