When our hearts collided

Chapter 25: Jacob

When Mariah began to cry it hurt me deep within my core. I couldn't heal her pain. I felt helpless. I never wanted to see her like that, but I knew it wouldn't be the first nor the last time that I would see her like this. In our life we would experience plenty of moments where we would be vulnerable and in pain with one another. But seeing her like that I wanted nothing more than to try my best to make her feel better.

When she told me she loved me, It made my heart melt into a million pieces because I felt the exact same. I knew that she knew that I loved her but when I told her how I felt back It was like she couldn't believe that I felt the same. She wanted to feel valid that how she was feeling was ok and I couldn't argue with that because I was similar especially when it came to my fame. I constantly wanted to feel valued and validated that what I did was enough. Her telling me made me cherish the moment even more because it was our first I love you and was also the first time I had seen how vulnerable and fragile she was.

I knew that she wasn't just emotional over the fact that she expressed her feelings of how she felt. I knew that our time together was slowly evaporating before my eyes. It caused some pain knowing that soon we wouldn't be sharing a bed together or that she wouldn't be in my arms for me to protect her every night as she slept. Nor would I see that smile in the morning as we woke up or see her beautiful face when we were having fun. We wouldn't be making beautiful memories, nor make love or have any more firsts that I lingered to crave. In that moment I just wanted to reassure her that I felt the same and that regardless of what the future holds because regardless if she couldn't be here with me I would always love her forever and then some.

After reassuring her I could feel the pain that she had bodied inside of her was slowly leaving her. Although she felt a bit at ease I could still tell that she was hurting and there was nothing I could do except hold her.

As we laid there, she asked if I could move closer so she could hug me.

I wanted nothing more than to be as close to her as I could possibly be. In that moment I felt like we had grown a little stronger.

Eventually she began to fall asleep. I just laid there looking at her content in my arms. She looked peaceful and calm in that moment. I knew that this is what I had to do. I had to protect her from the world and her own demons. I was her protector and provider. I knew there was going to be things in life that I couldn't protect her from but I would make sure that no matter what with the last ounce of my body that I would put my whole blood, sweat, tears and heart in making sure that I could ease her pain as much as possible.

I looked and began thinking of everything that had happened the past week and thinking how grateful I was for her and everything we had done together. From our first encounter, and all our first we had done since. From our first hand hold to our first kiss to our first time and our first tears and pain. The tears began to wallow at the brink of my eyes and before to long of trying to keep them at bay tears began to flood down my face. I was trying to hold my pain because I didn't want her to see how I was feeling because I had to be strong for her. I was sad but hopeful that everything would work out one way or another. Unfortunately only time would tell.

I began to hold her closer to me and just hugged her until eventually I dozed off.

.......

The next day after everything that happened the night before we wanted to spend as much possible awakening moment together. Although this might be our last few days we still had all those hours to make up for a life time of separation. Although I was in denial of the time we had left I still wanted to fight for her to prove that I would still be there for her even when and if we were apart. I was hoping that she could stay or that we could find a way for us to be closer. Although the ocean would keep us apart no amount of distance would stop me from being there for her.

I wanted nothing more than to hold her or to to feel her body on mine. Every curve and every detail about her was already etched into my brain.

We spent the day watching some movies while snuggled under the blankets together. Her in my arms once again where she belonged. We pigged out on some takeaway and junk food. This wasn't something I usually did but if it meant that we could spend more time together there was no where else that I would rather be or to be doing at that time.

Through the entire movie, I wasn't even paying attention because all I did was stare at her every opportunity that I could get. Every time that I looked at her the more beautiful that she became. The more small details I would find about her. Her eyes were a dark shade of blue but the more you looked at them the more lighter they became and every time she was happy without realising she would just smile. Seeing that smile made everything that I had been feeling worth it.

Once the first movie finished we began to flick through Netflix to watch another movie. We settled on some Harry Potter. Halfway though the movie she took the control from the table and flicked the TV off and looked up at me and said

"Well I'm feeling hungry so I thought we could go for a walk and get some ice cream."

"Hmm well we have food here." I replied jokingly as I showed her the food laying in front of us.

"Yeah but we don't have ice cream and plus I want to get out of the house for a bit." She said.

"Pretty please." She said as she made those puppy eyes that I couldn't say no to.

"Hahaha sure, how could I say no." I said jokingly.

As we were grabbing our coats we were distracted by Mariah's phone ringing. She looked down at her phone and said

"I better take this, I wont be to long."

"Of course, talk to your Mum, I'll be waiting here." I replied.

As she proceeded into the bathroom for some privacy.