When our hearts collided

Chapter 33: Jacob

The next morning as I woke up I could feel a damp spot on my arm and as I looked down to Mariah, I could see her pain in her eyes. I wanted nothing more than to take away the pain but ultimately I knew no matter what I did it would never make anything better.

I looked at her and said

"Are you ok."

"Yeah of course." She said. I knew she wasn't being completely honest because I could feel the tension in her voice.

"Are you sure." I replied.

"Of course, but I was wondering if we could stay like this for a little loner before we get up." She asked as I said

"Anything for you."

As I bought her closer to me as I wrapped her into a hug. I never wanted to stop hugging her. I wanted to be there to hug her forever. I wanted to be there to give her first hug in the morning and I always wanted to be her last hug before she went to sleep. But I know that would never happen. It was the last day that I got to have her here with me. I wanted to be greedy and ask nothing more for than for time to just stand still. How difficult could it be for us to just freeze in time. I know that this time tomorrow I would be empty, I would feel nothing but pain for the rest of my life.

I'm hoping that as time goes on it would heal my pain but from all the loss that I have had in my life I knew that time never healed pain it was just that you learn to deal with it. I knew that this was one of things that would never get easier but it would be something I would just have to live with. I would hope to look back and remember everything that we had done together and just smile.

I envisioned that I would look back on this the same way rose looked back on her love with Jack from the titanic. Although she suffered the greatest loss, she was able to find a way to move on with her life creating new memories but in doing so carried jack within her heart in everything that she did in her life. Although my loss would never compare to actually losing her for real the loss of letting go is very similar when the one you love can't be there in person. I had no regrets with the time I spent with Mariah but the only thing I regret is that I didn't get more time with her.

When we made it down for breakfast I offered to the group that we all go ice skating together. Of corse everyone saw it as something to pass time and as a source of entertainment, but for me it meant more to me than that. It meant that I got the opportunity to surprise Mariah with a gift I had gotten her. Kind of like a gift to say my good byes. I wanted to do that at the very spot that we first met because the ice skating rink would always hold a special place in my heart. The place we first set eyes on one another and the place we get to set one another free. It was special and I wouldn't ever forget it.

Once we made our way there we got our skates and made our way onto the rink. As I skated hand in hand with Mariah it made it that much more difficult to say my goodbyes. I was hoping this day would never come but I was prepared for it, I had wondered may timed about it over the past few days. I held all my emotions in because I didn't want her to see how I was really feeling because I didn't want her to feel pain little known mine. She had enough going on with her own emotions that I couldn't just throw mine on top of her pile. I knew she was sad and upset most days but she put on a brave face for us both, as did I. She was strong and I admired that about her. Any girl or person in general who who can stay strong with whatever their going through is something that I deeply admired in people.

As we made our way round the rink a few times we began to become a little tired and began to make our way to the entrance and I knew this was the perfect moment to tell her how I felt. I tapped her on the shoulder and dropped down onto one knee.