When our hearts collided

Chapter 29: Jacob

As I shut the door behind me in front of the boys, I couldn't bare the fact to move another step forward. It was to hard. I just sat there behind my door for sometime thinking how badly I had messed up and how badly I had hurt her. I also thought about how everybody knew about the situation and how humiliating it was for the both of us. I couldn't even grieve alone because a piece of me was always on display for the world to see. I felt sick to my stomach and I didn't know how much more I could take.

Eventually I made my way to my bed and just laid there in pure silence looking at the ceiling. I wasn't even thinking of anything I was just staring at the ceiling like an idiot. I could hear nothing but the sound of the fan as it blew around and around. I began to think about how the day had started off and to how it ended up, and it made me sad knowing that what we had wasn't all magic and rainbows. I knew that but I really was hoping that we could of made it. I wanted nothing more than to be the ones whose spark would never burn out but unfortunately our spark fused quicker than sand evaporating into thin air.

I sobbed again for the millionth time that day but this time I couldn't stop the tears from falling. After sometime I cried myself to sleep. Eventually I woke up to the pitch black room other than the small crack of light which shined through my window. I got up and went to the window to look at the moon which was looking back at me. The moon was bright but for some reason it looked more dull than it had ever been. As I looked up I sympathised with how Mariah and my relationship was etched into the moon, the stars and the night sky but unfortunately our love was never as strong as the bond and connection each had one to another. Dependent on each other to survive and strive. Instead ours fell flat of the burning light that eventually faded to nothing but darkness, and here I was in the dark wanting nothing more than to turn that spark back on.

After standing there lost in my thoughts my stomach began to growl. I wasn't even sure when the last time I ate. I wasn't even hungry but I knew I had to go and get something to eat. I was starving but for something more.I made my way towards the door to go down stairs to get some dinner. As I opened the door I didn't even get two feet out the door when all of a sudden I bumped into someone. I knew it was her I could feel the connection. She stumbled back and grabbed onto the wall behind her.

I took a few steps to where she was and looked over at her with concern and said.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. Are you ok."

She just looked up at me and just nodded before she found her footing before she got up and continued down the hall way, leaving me empty handed with nothing but wonder.

I wanted to just run after her and make sure that she was ok or to beg her for my forgiveness but I knew none of that would help the situation.

Instead I just made my way down stairs and headed towards the kitchen to fetch myself some left over dinner which was in the fridge and then made my way to the table where everyone was already half way done with their food.

As I approached everyone became silent and looked at me as I sat down.

"Don't quit talking just because I arrived." I said back to everyone.

As everyone began to slowly start talking again.

I just sat there in silence as I began to eat my food. I didn't even have the appetite nor the courage to even eat but I sucked it up and took one bite after the other until I finished.

I just sat there in silence looking at everyone as they all looked happy and content. I could feel Laylas' eyes staring back at me amongst the group. I deserved that. She was Mariah's best friend and I knew that she had her back and I expected nothing less from a friend because I know the boys would have my back if the tables were reversed.