our child

Chapter Thirty Five

(Continued from last chapter)
"Come on let's get you home"
........ (TW⚠️)
Gracie POV:
"Mamma?" I called from the sofa, "yes bambina?" She asked from the kitchen, "can you come here a second?" I said, "yes bambina, everything okay?" She said walking over, "um I don't know" I told her, "what do you mean bambina?" She said turning to look at me, I dropped my head to avoid eye contact, "bambina what's the matter?" She asked placing a hand on my leg, "I- I don't know" I said breaking down, "oh bambina" Carina said before holding me in her arms, "I'm sorry" I breathed out, "it's okay you don't need to be sorry" she told me, "no I can't do anything right, I don't deserve you. Stop let me go!" I shouted breaking the space from Carina, I ran upstairs and into my room, hearing Carina run after me I slammed the door quickly so she wouldn't walk in, "bambina please let me in" she pleaded from the other side of the door, "go away!" I shouted at her, "Gracie please" she said, "no leave!" I shouted again pacing around my room, "I'm going to give you time to cool off bambina" she said through the door. I searched around my room for something I could use, a lighter in my draw, I pulled up my trouser leg and lit the spark, burning it on my skin. After a few burns I put the lighter back into my draw and threw myself on my bed.
"Can I come in?" Carina asked, "mhm" I agreed. She walked in and sat next to me, "come here" she signalled for me to get closer, I sat and faced opposite her fiddling with my hands, "hey bambina look at me" she said lifting my chin, "I know your struggling with something even if you don't want to tell me right now that's okay, you don't need to criticise yourself for not feeling okay. Just remember that there are so many people who love you and you don't need to be so hard on yourself bambina" she added kissing my forehead, a tear fell down my face and guilt was building up inside of me. Another tear fell down my face as I looked down at my leg, "what is it bambina?" Carina asked concerned, "I-" , I said as an involuntary whimper escaped my lips, "I'm sorry" I added rolling up my trouser leg, "oh Gracie" Carina said, "I'm sorry- you and mom have done everything, you- you've gotten me a therapist, you've supported me through everything and I- I still keep letting you down" I blurted out in one breath. "Hey bambina you have not let us down at all, you have been through more in a few years than most people will in their life, we are proud of you and even if you don't see it you are making huge steps, a few months ago you never would've told me about this and you would've bottled it up inside. Bambina I am so proud of who your becoming you never need to be ashamed of yourself" she told me wiping tears from my cheeks, "will mom be mad?" I asked, "are you crazy? she won't be mad in the slightest bambina" she reassured making me relived. "Can we just lay her for awhile?" I asked, "yes hold on, Harper come here bambina!" Carina shouted, a few moments later she came into the room, "come cuddle Bambina" Carina told her, "I love you girls, so much".
.......
Maya POV:
"I'm worried about her" I admitted to Carina as she told me everything that happened earlier, "I know, me too" Carina said resting her head on my shoulder, "I think she's lonely" Carina added, "I know, I feel like I'm to blame since I took her phone and grounded her" I sighed, "she seems so happy when she's with us, like today in the park she was laughing and smiling the whole time and then she just switches up" I added, "maybe we should unground her, she only had a week left anyways and she has been doing chores" Carina suggested, "okay, I'll book more appointments with her therapist as well maybe that will help."
"She will be okay" Carina said cupping my face. "I love you" i said before placing a soft kiss on her lips, "I love you too" she said returning one. "Mom?" Gracie said after knocking on our door, "come in sunshine" I told her, "um I know it's like 9pm but I need to do something..." she said, "yes?" I asked her warily, "I need to go run" she told me, "run? Now?" I asked, "yep" she confirmed to me, "okay then go get changed" I said getting out of bed, she went back to her room and I changed into running gear, "your both insane" carina joked, "whatever she needs" I laughed, "your the best mom" Carina said leaning over and kissing my shoulder as I put my trainers on.
.......
Gracie POV:
"You ready?" Maya asked coming into my room, "yep" I said putting my hoodie on, "okay let's go" maya said going downstairs. I walked out the front door before Maya stopped me, "stretch before you run or you'll be aching tomorrow" she said grabbing my shoulder.
"Okay I'm ready" I said a few minutes later. We set off on the street toward the park, "mom can we go faster?" I asked, "uh yeh if you want" she said picking up the pace, I sprinted past her making her speed up to catch me up, "race you to the tree!" She challenged. I pumped my arms as hard as I could, adrenaline coursing through my veins, moving my legs as fast as possible. Feeling all my emotions spill out and all my energy being used to get to the tree. I got there turning around to see Maya staring at me, in disbelief? I didn't know but it was a look I'd never seen before. She came over to me and held my face in her hands, "I'm so proud of you" she whispered looking directly into my eyes, "so proud" she added.

A/N: I absolutely loved writing this chapter I hope you enjoyed reading it half as much! This definitely got emotional to write so.....

Just a message to anyone who may be struggling or just anyone who might need this. you are loved, you are not alone, if things are not great right now it does get better, I love and appreciate every single one of you, thankyou for your endless support it's appreciated more than you realise, my messages are always open to anyone who needs it🤍