❝I have something to lose. My heart. It would be very hard to put it back together if it would be broken by you.❞
❝I would never hurt you.❞
When Visna gets separated from her sisters on a mission, she finds shelter at Kaer Morhen and stays with her...
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Geralt and I stayed away from each other for the rest of the day. Whenever he threw a disappointed look over to me, I immediately let my eyes wander away from him with growing pain around my heart. Dinner was strange, we sat next to each other uncomfortably, avoiding conversations between us. And if we had something to say to each other, you could sense a cold and confused distance.
The Witchers threw questioning looks around, but nobody said anything. They would ask Geralt what had happened when Ciri and I would leave for bed, but I knew he wouldn't tell them. Because there was nothing to say.
I headed upstairs to my room to pass the time until it was time to go to bed for the others. When everybody in the fortress would sleep, I planned to steal myself down to the laboratory to mix myself a sleeping potion. Geralt had told me yesterday what ingrediencies were inside the blue drink and I learned about the rare plant that only bloomed once a year. The trick was to dig it up with its roots when it was still closed and remove it from its stem when it was fully blooming. He kept the dried petals on a shelf, right next to the other ingrediencies.
I wasn't able to deal with my demon tonight, I just wanted to have a dreamless sleep. It turned out that my nightly adventure wasn't necessary, a little bottle laid on my pillow. Geralt must have put it there before he came down for dinner. I sat down and grabbed the bottle, turning and twisting it, knowing I should thank him for it.
He didn't have to do it, I didn't ask him for the potion today but he knew I needed it and had put it in my room even though we ... fought? No, we didn't, we- What did we do? No, the question was what we didn't do - everything I desired.
I shook my head at myself. The presence of the Witcher was messing with my head, what was wrong with me? Maybe the musty air in the old fortress was playing tricks on my mind or somebody had cursed me. This has never happened to me, and I couldn't wait for it to end. I hated this feeling. And what it had brought along.
Confusion. Disappointment. Pain.
Knowing that the air between us wasn't cleared, I twisted and turned the bottle between my hands. Should I head back downstairs to his room and thank him of the potion now? Talk to him about it? About what exactly ... No, it would only lead to more problems.
I needed to keep a clear head and focus on what was more important, like training Ciri. It wasn't just a way to pass my waiting time, I liked to have the princess around. She reminded me a lot of Gertha, which I missed dearly. And I knew I would miss Ciri as well when I needed to leave. My sisters would come eventually and there was no way around it - I had to leave the girl. And Geralt. And the other Witchers that had grown on me as well. But not in the same way as Geralt had.
I shook my head, not believing my mind had yet managed to travel back to him again. I hated the way I missed him. Grabbing the bottle, I pulled the cork out and put it on the little table next to my bed. The liquid inside smelled of lavender and with every time I drank the potion, it tasted more like it. I chugged it down with one big gulp and placed the bottle next to the cork. I took my shoes off, got rid of the clothing I wouldn't lay in to sleep before laying down in my bed, pulling the blanket over my body. As soon as I closed my eyes, the tiredness caught up to me and I fell asleep.
