Wolfsbane

Chapter 38

Connor

This war is long and so painful. I had never fought so hard to keep my land and pack. Looking left and right all I could see were fallen men from both packs in this war and it broke my heart but also gave me a reason to keep fighting. It had been almost a week in this fight and I was so tired and ready to go home. We had somehow managed to take out more than half of our enemies and I could tell they were soon going to lose to us. My pack would remain safe and our land would be ours. I could feel the pain of each life lost and I knew their mates would feel it too. I couldn't let their lives be taken for nothing. They would be heros and I would make sure everyone knows how brave my men were.

I drove my sword into a man with black eyes and moved to the next black eyed man. Man after man fell by my hand and soon I could see a white flag being raised and the back eyed men fleeing back over the hill and off into the distance. My pack and I celebrated our victory before carrying all of our fallen back to the camp to rest for the night and then leave. As I settled down into my tent to sleep I could feel my wolf on edge, something was wrong but I couldn't tell what it was. My insides were jerking and my heart was pounding in my chest. My wolf was begging me to run but this panic I felt wasn't just going to subside to let him. Focusing my breathing, I got to my feet to go find Luke. As soon as he looked at me he knew something was completely wrong. "What's going on Connor?" He asked as I looked into his eyes swirling with concern. "I don't know. My wolf is on edge and I need a good run. If I'm not back in the morning lead the pack back to our land. If I don't show up for a while don't worry I will come back when my wolf is okay again. I just need to run." I told him before walking off so he couldn't stop me. As I ran I kicked off my shoes and pulled my shirt off, my bones bending and cracking as I took my last step my body seemed to fall away and my wolf's paws hit the dirt.

He sped through the trees and jumped over creeks. I could feel his tired body and thought he was ready to stop but he never did. He pushed as hard as he could making sure nothing would stop his paws from padding against the ground one after another. My wolf had ran for hours and hours til finally he reached the pack grounds and he relaxed fully letting me fall back into human form. It had finally hit me that my wolf was telling me something was wrong with Jamie. I found myself running toward our house with a sick feeling in my stomach. As my feet hit the front steps the wood creaked making me jump slightly. A smile slid onto my face with happiness knowing she was in our house. Opening the front door all the happiness drained from my body looking around our house. The couch was ripped to shreads, plates and cups shattered all over the floor, and hole all in the walls. Sniffing the air made me gag, it smelled just like the black eyed men from the war.

My heart pounded in my chest like a beating drumb, my palms were sweating like never before, and a lump grew in my throat. Everything in me felt so weak and powerless. "Jamie? Where are you?" I yelled through the house hearing nothing but an echo of my own voice calling back to me. Dread filled me to the brim and I felt hopeless. Searching the house I couldn't find her anywhere. I even went to Olivia to see if she was there but she hadn't seen her since Luke and I left for the war. Thought's of her running away filled my mind and swirled around me but I knew she wouldn't do something like that. She had a great life here, a family, a child, friends, and me. Maybe we just weren't enough for her. Why would she all of a sudden decide to destroy our house and then leave? Why would there be a black eyed man's scent in our house if we were fighting them so far away? I couldn't help thinking that maybe she wasn't actually running away. I didn't know what to do or what to think or how to get through it all.

I felt like I had just lost everything. She was gone and I couldn't find her. I had the whole pack searching for weeks, not a day goes by that I haven't had them looking. They found her's and a black eyed man's scent in the woods behind our house but after a while of tracking, the scent ran cold. Sleeping alone in our bed made my heart ache and my body feel sick. The longer she was gone, the less hope I had. Everyday, all I thought about was how she was out there alone. I wasn't beside her to keep her safe and love her like no other. I didn't think that she was ever going to come home. I was finding it hard to trust my trackers or anyone around me. Olivia and Luke were the only one's that I seemed to trust to track her down and even that trust was running on empty.  My mind was sinking into darkness and my wolf was constantly trying to fight with me. I wanted to run from the pack, to search for her, to find her. I couldn't just abandon my pack, they needed me more than anything but I needed her more than I needed them. She completed me, kept me from going insane, and always helped me no matter what it was. She's my best friend, the one I love the most in this world and here she was gone from my life and there was nothing I could do to find her. She might just be gone forever.