lost (Hawkeye)

Chapter 3

Percy:

But before we arrive at  my mother's house, a red Porsche drove beside us and honked. When we turned around, we realized that it was Apollo who was driving, he waved at us and let down the window "Do not tell me you wanted to leave without coming to me for a quick check up.", he said, looking demonstratively at our bloody Clothing. "Come on, there's enough room for four", he said smiling, I really didn't know where he got his good mood from, but I could definitely use some of it. Nico and Thalia seemed to see it the same way and we agreed and squeezed into the car. The car was obviously not originally made for more than two  people, hence it was quite cozy on the backseats. " Yo Percy,  you'll sit next to me. Need to keep an eye on you. Special order  from  your dad." he winked at me, before jumping out of his car to open the door  for me.

When we were all sitting, Apollo drove off. We arrived at his palace on Mount Olympus after five minutes of silence. ANd let me tell you, not even driving with the three sisters, who owned one theeth and one eye only, had been as bad as driving with Apollo. My mouth opened when I saw the palace, it was huge and radiated golden light, the architecture was impressive, maybe David had designed it, he had built so much here. Oh, how I missed him when I looked at the others, everybody was looking at me like they were expecting an answer, stupid ADHD. "Uh what?" I asked, Apollo laughed and said, "I asked who the most severe injuries and therefore who to start with. Nico and Thalia said it isn't be so bad with them, so let's start with you." I opened my mouth to contradict, but before I could say something he took my arm and lead me inside while Thalia and Nico stayed outside to have a look at the shops at a distraction from the loss of their friends.

From the inside, the palace was even more magnificent. Everything was made of marble and decorated with gold. When Apollo noticed my astonishment, he grinned: "Your friend built it all up, he was a good boy" at his words, a hint of sadness cast a shadow over his blue eyes and I also shuddered slightly, I wasn't used to someone talking about David in the past form. When he noticed that, he looked at me apologetically. He led me to a room that was supposed to be a doctor's room, I sat down on a bed and looked at him expectantly. " Do you have any injuries that one can't see right now, he asked after he had searched me. I answered yes and pulled up my shirt to show him a deep cut at my side. "Uh, that looks nasty." He narrowed his eyebrows, while inspecting my wound. "What happened?"  "I fought in a war." My voice sounded angrier than I intended, eventhough he was partly responsible for the war, it was not fair of me to put too much blame on him. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to sound as harsh. A hellhound got me, while I was distracted." Sensing that it was a touchy subject, Apollo just nodded and continued with the check up.

He took a cloth of alcohol, plucked it on the wound and put a hand on my forehead, whereupon the pain disappeared and the wound closed. Afterwards he gave me a piece of ambrosia to eat and a glass of nectar. Usually it tasted like my mom's cookies, now it tasted like David's kisses. Pain, ripping through my heart came in my eyes and I turned my head to the side. When I looked at Apollo, I saw pity in his eyes. "I don't need your pity. It wouldn't be appropriate, it would be appropriate if you all hated me for letting your children die." My voice was rising, all of the emotions I held back after the fight surfaced, all at once. Apollo looked horrified. I couldn't blame him, he probably hasn't thought so far yet and was now regretting his offer for help. 

"No, that's wrong, you didn't let them die, you saved so many, but even gods can't be everywhere. " Tears ran down my face, " but I should have been, I let him down, I let all of them down. " Apollo leaned forward and wrapped in his arms around  me, he smelled of sunshine and mint, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the touch "Never say that again, it's not true!" He whispered in my ear. Eventhough I did not agree with him, I did not contradict, it would drain too much energy to argue with him.

After a while, he let me go and smiled encourangingly at me. " How do you always manage to stay positive and be in a good mood when people have died out there?" I asked the question I wanted to ask for a long time. "Everyone dies at some point, I knew they would die and I am proud of them, they died honorably, but you have to live in the now, what would they gain if I broke down with grief? They are happy in the Elysium, they have the choice of rebirth, I mourn for them, but I keep looking I keep them as heroes in memory and I know they wouldn't want me to let them get me down. " While he said that he looked me seriously in the eyes, the small gold spots  sparkling in his cobalt blue eyes, I let his words go through my mind, I would never manage to deal with the dead of my friends like this, my heart will always be missing a piece, bit maybe one day it would stop  hurting so badly.

"But haven't you ever lost someone close to you? I mean you're all immortal and stuff, you don't lose anyone that easily.""You know the myths Percy, of course I have loved people who were taken from me. Just think of Daphne and Hyacinth." Apollo turned his back on me, his voice not sounding as smooth as it had before. "I loved them. I would have done anything for them, but I am cursed to lose everyone I love. Maybe that's why I can handle the death of my children, because I'm used to it." Waves of sadness emanated from him. I had never seen him like this and immediately regretted bringing up the subject.I set to say something encouraging, but Apollo raised his hand."Enough emotional foolishness. That's all in the past now and not worth talking about any further. I'm done with your examination, please send Nico or Thalia in and lie down for a while. And don't forget, it's important to talk about the deceased and to keep the good memories, but you must also learn to let go, so that they don't prevent you from living."

After I layed on Apollo's orders, to regain my 'asskicking attitude' I watched him treat Thalia and Nico, I couldn't help but admire his skill and gentleness.
After my friends were finished, we finally went to my mother's house. HIs words stayed in my head for a long time.