lost (Hawkeye)

Chapter 26

Percy:

I was still awake for a long time after Thor left. Starring at the ceiling. It felt good to talk about everything, even though I didn't like it. Yet I still didn't feel ready to come to terms with my past. I sighed quietly and got up. Sleep would probably not work today. "Jarvis, what time is it?" "It's 5:47. Should I tell someone that you are awake? Personally, I would advise you to sleep". "No thanks. Is there anywhere I can do some exercise?" "Yes, I will take them to the gym if you wish". I nodded. Before I went with him, however, I took a shower. Since I am the daughter of Poseidon, I felt better immediately afterwards. 

When I got out of the shower, I put on a Camp Jupiter T-shirt, put on a black gym and made a  ponytail. Afterwards, I followed Jarvis' voice to the gym. When I entered, my mouth opened. It was even bigger than S. H. I. E. L. D. 's. There was everything here. From a treadmill to a gigantic pool. When I saw it, my eyes lit up and I ran there. When I arrived I took off my shoes and jumped into the water. It was wonderful, I had missed swimming again. I felt free, I was at home here (even if I preferred salt water). I stopped counting after 30 laps. After a while I went out of the pool, but decided to come back again. Thanks to my powers, I was completely awake, even though I hadn't slept. I looked around, what should I do? I saw a punching bag and ran towards it. "Jarvis, can you please play music from. . . um. . . ACDC?" I asked him. Next to the punching bag there were five more on the floor I raised an eyebrow, someone must have some serious problems...

When I started punching the punching bag, Jarvis started playing the music. As I punched the punching bag, my surrounding vanished and I was standing on the battlefield again. I saw Gaia, she stood laughing at Jason's body and watched Pieper desperately try to get to her boyfriend. I hit harder. With a jerk, the punching bag came off its anchorage and flew against the wall, where it fell to the ground with a loud bang. I grimaced,  obviously I was also one with serious problems. 

I picked up the next punching bag and hung it up. I saw Hazel being stabbed by Kampe. I still heard Frank's scream in my sleep, a scream so full of despair, anger and sadness. Boom, the next sack was broken. In blind rage I hit the new one. 

I could have saved Leo when he was struck by a spear. I had been there when he died, too late to do anything ese than providing him company during his last moments. I was the only one to hear his last words. His last joke. He had died the way he always wanted to die: a hero. He had sacrificed himself for a younger camp member and died in her place.Boom, the sand ran out of the next punching bag. Frustrated, I grabbed the new one. I didn't notice the tears running down my face when I thought about Frank's death.

It had been cruel, Frank was held down by polyphemus and had to watch his piece of wood burn before his eyes. I couldn't do anything without my water becoming poison. The expression in his eyes still haunted me in my sleep. His eyes so full of despair, knowing that his death was inevitable and yet hoping for  wonder. A wonder that never came. Boom, one punching bag less,  next one. 

My Piper, my best friend along with Hazel. When a sword pierced her she was surprised. I remember running to her and battling the monster that injured her. It took me more time than it should have to kill it, time I could have had to help Piper. I remember myself pressing my hands on her wound, eventhough I knew it was useless, begging her to stay with me. She had smiled as she died, she was glad to see Jason in the Elysium again. Boom, another bag joined the others on the wall. I grabbed the last one. 

The last one was for David. He never left me,  not on quests,  not in Tartars,  never. I owed him everything and yet I wsn't able tto pay my debt. I had let him die. Sobs slipped out of my throat as I thought of his grey eyes staring lifelessly into the sky. That look was the worst thing I had ever seen. People say when someone close to you dies it feels as if a part of you has died as well. Lies. When David died it did not feel like that. It did not feel as if just a part of me died. Everything died. Everything was turning black, all colours vanishing from the surface of the earth. There were no living parts in me anymore. Surviving parts- yes, functioning parts- yes, living parts- no. There is more to life than just breathing, talking and moving. EVeery emotion every bit of love  died with David and left was a functioning corpse.

When the bag was broken, I collapsed without any strength left. Tears ran down my cheeks while I was trembling. I wrapped my arms around my knees and wept. Suddenly, I felt an arm around my shoulder. I looked at Steve with my red eyes. He looked at me sadly and pulled me to his chest. I buried my face in his chest and wept on. Eventually, my tears stopped flowing and I fell asleep exhausted.

Steve's view:

I  got up at my usual time. I never slept long. When I changed my clothes and went to the training ground, I realized someone was already there. It was Percy. She hit a punching bag like crazy. What had the poor punching bag done to her? After some time, he flew against the wall and remained lying next to many others. Thats when Percy collapsed. Immediately I hurried to her, as much aroused me that her tears were flowing from her eyes in waterfalls. I gently put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her to me. She buried her face in my chest and kept crying. Eventually she stopped crying and calmed down. She was asleep. What happened? Why was she crying so much? Many questions popped through my mind as I lifted her up. She was surprisingly light, probably ate too little. . . but why? What had happened in her past that hurt her so deeply? So far I had tried to mind my own buiness, but how could I do that when someone clearly needed help? I promised myself to talk to her and get seome answers to my questions. I went to her room and put her down gently in her bed. She looked so peaceful when she slept,it was so differently when she was awake, no absendminded smiles or cold stares. I put some blankts over her before I headed back to the training grounds. My thoughts were still on Percy. What ever happended to her, I wouldn't allow it to tear her apart day by day. Eventhough it might take long and would be exhausting, I would stay and help her the best I could. I coulnd't let anyone else be consmed by their sorrow.