i used to see your name and smile because i felt so safe with you. you made me feel important, and beautiful, and funny, you made me feel like i could always talk to you. when i met you, i had just gone through the hardest time in my life until then, and you were such a breath of fresh air. a break from the horribleness i would experience with other boys, and though i was being tormented by him at school, i could go home and live in a different world with you. and you loved me, at least you did for a while; until i got attached and you changed your tune. where before you couldn't have enough of me, now i was "overwhelming and a lot", and although you loved me for my brain, and my humor, my laugh, and my smile, you used me for my body; bragging to your friends like the little boy you are. and i was heartbroken. i still pretend like i don't know what happened, like i don't know what you showed them,like i didn't hear things you said about me. i didn't know you. and i am an idiot for allowing you to be better in my head than you were in the world, allowing my fear of him to become love for you. now i see your name and i cry, my first love, my first heartbreak. goodbye.
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the night the stars fell - poetry collection
PoetryPLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS this poetry collection includes themes and descriptions of: sexual violence/assault/harassment PTSD hallucinations depression anxiety self harm disordered eating in my experience feeling seen through works of writ...
