i saw you again today
i was sitting in my car, trying to leave school
and you passed in front of me.
i don't even know if you saw me. but just breathing in your air i can feel myself shut down.
i lost control of myself—my mind, my heart, my lungs.
and i wished i had run you over. or flicked you off. but i just sat there. in utter defeat. trapped by my weakness.
i hate you
you slithered into my mind and heart and rotted me from the inside. you made your putrid home here
stealing my ability to control myself
i hate you.
i wish you didn't have any power over me
you don't even try yet still you own most of my thoughts
i cant wait till im 23
and you'll have never touched me
all the physical cells you poisoned will have died by then
but i'll keep the memories. no one can take them for me
i hate you
i blame you for everything
why didn't you listen to my crying?
WAS I NOT LOUD ENOUGH?
and people will think i'm crazy for not talking about it for two years
but how can i be crazy?
when all i wanted was to not be forced to be eye level, inches away from your dick
how can i be crazy?
when all i wanted was to not be grabbed whenever and wherever you wanted
how can i be crazy?
when all i wanted was to not be choked by you or anyone for that matter
how can i be crazy? when all i want is to be free from you
YOU ARE READING
the night the stars fell - poetry collection
PoésiePLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS this poetry collection includes themes and descriptions of: sexual violence/assault/harassment PTSD hallucinations depression anxiety self harm disordered eating in my experience feeling seen through works of writ...
