Brittany Hills Chronicles: Act 3

Ronnie 101

This weekend was everything I could've possibly have wanted and more importantly needed; not just the sex... Saturday we spent most of the day driving around the city, visiting some of our favorite places, just walking around having a good time when we got back to the hotel it was round whatever with Kofi. Sunday was more of a chill day; breakfast in the morning, us laid up in bed until around three just talking... though I noticed Antwan would get nervous whenever I would bring up future plans. After a long nap, he told me Kofi had gone back to Brittany Hills to give us some time alone and that night I can honestly say that I had some of the best sex of my life... all that should've been perfect except.... we checked out early, way earlier than I anticipated he mumbled something about school and I shrugged, too far gone in the glow of this weekend to really notice what was right there in front of me. When we got back to Brittany Hills the house was still dark which told me that no one was getting ready for school yet, snow had started to fall lightly and I couldn't help but smile until I turned to Antwan and saw the tears in his eyes.

"Twan, are you alright? All weekend you've been acting distant... cagey whenever the topic of future stuff comes up, and more than a few times I caught tears in your eyes. Come on man talk to me...." I said trying to get him to look at me but the sadness that was building in his eyes was causing my heart to hurt. I sat there watching him and a couple of time he looked like he was on th verge of speaking but something stopped him.

"I love you...." He said sniffing. "You've been the one bright spot in these last few months of darkness.... The truth is I'm not okay, I haven't been since I found out my dad was sick, it's been even worse having to watch him slowly die; it hurts me knowing that he won't be there anymore and it's been eating me up inside." Antwan said brushing away a tear.

"I know... I know you've been hurting, but we'll get through this.... you gotta stop holding this shyt in Antwan; if you need to scream, shout, swing on someone you know I'll be right there to help you deal with your grief...." I said moving closer to him.

"That's the thing you can't.... Terron, I've been much worse than realized.... I've been teetering on the edge of ending it all.... drinking myself into deep sleeps, praying that I don't wake up.... losing my dad hit me hard..... it broke me, and not even you can put the pieces back together." Antwan said wiping more tears from his eyes and I fought back tears because I knew he was hurting but hearing this, I feel like I should've seen it.... "Ayy this ain't on you...." He said reading my mind.

"It sure feels like it, you notice everything about me.... and I couldn't see that you were thinking about....." I said not even able to form the word. "Antwan, please don't tell me you're still thinking about it...." I said as the fear built in my chest. "Is that what this weekend was about? Making sure that I had a good time before you....." I asked feeling myself getting angry.

"Nah... I mean, yeah those thoughts are still there... but this weekend wasn't about that, I just wanted to make sure you had a good time before I...." Antwan seemed to be fighting back more tears but I could hear them in his voice, I could see his throat getting tight, it was like I was seeing through his eyes, a blurry version of me was reflected in them. "There's this facility.... in Colorado... my mom thinks it would be good for me to get away."

"Colorado...." I said in a voice that wasn't my own.

"Yeah... Colorado.... the movers have been working all weekend and...." Antwan said but one word caught my attention.

"Movers?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, movers... damn can I finish?" He asked forcing out a laugh. "Me and my mom decided to rent out the house, she's moving to Colorado to be close to me. I'll be in the facility for six months, it's not one of those Christian conversion camps.... more like a spa.... but I feel like it's what I need at the moment; no cellphone, no social media, no distractions... just a place I can work on getting myself together." Antwan said.