The TwiceBorn

Boldness Be My Friend

"Wear your love like heaven."--Sarah MacLachlan

Everything had played out the same as it had the day before. Lucan collected her, they went to Lord Kenric's chambers, he placed wood on the fire and cracked his boiled eggs as he asked Islinn if she was ready to renounce and again, she said no.

They had left Lord Kenric, ruefully shaking his head and appearing sorrowful. Only Islinn was aware of the odd quirk to the corner of his mouth that told her he'd be glad to be rid of her.

And why wouldn't he be?

He hadn't seen her coming. She read that in the faces of all the brothers they passed in the hall as Lucan led her to her death. Anger,uncertainty,sorrow...all those emotions were on every face they passed yet not one stepped forward to stop what was about to happen.

Had she really expected them to?

No. And yes, all at the same time. As Islinn walked, her legs shaking so hard she thought she was going to fall with each step, her mind had desperately clung to some kind of insane hope that someone...or even something...would happen that would stop all of this. But now...as she neared the door that opened into the dark, and hazy room where she would die, she was slowly realizing that it was all going to take place.

The man walking a few steps in front of her was going to burn her then break all the bones in her body, she didn't know what that pain was like, could she stand it? could she bare it? who would she pray to? and---blessed Brede---how long would it take her to die??

All the air in her chest constricted in terror and she suddenly couldn't breathe. Stopping, she raised one trembling hand to her throat and started to gasp. Blackness began to creep out of the corners of the hallway and Islinn shook her head as the world began to swim away. Everything slowly came back, and she felt Lucan's hand on her elbow.

"Islinn?"

His voice was soft and the words of the man who is going to kill me is suddenly worried about something being wrong skated through  her head with a lunatic glee.

"I'm so sssc...ssscared." She whispered as she looked at Lucan's pale expression. He nodded, his eyes glassy.

"I...I know you are. I...I..."

Lucan suddenly dropped to his knees in front of her, so quickly that Islinn thought for a moment that he had passed out instead. She looked down at the top of his cowl and felt his hands clinging to her bedraggled tunic. The other brothers in the hall shied away, like a herd of horses suddenly hearing the sly rattle of a snake's tail.

"Forgive me for what I am to do, grant me sanctification, I beg of you, hear my plea and grant me sanctification." He mumbled; his face buried in the rags she wore. Islinn gaped down at him, her heart thundering in her chest.

"I...I can't do that. That's not...not for me to..." She managed to say, astounded by Lucan's request.

Who did he think she was?

A vision rose in her mind of the blade of benediction she had hastily hidden in the hay when Lucan had come to collect her. The glow winked out as soon as her hand left the handle, but she had held it all night and it had comforted her with its own song, a song with no words yet filled with a power she had never felt before.