The TwiceBorn

The Power Of Confusion

“I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”--Johnny Depp

The moment stretched out into several beats and Alora felt herself slowly coming back to her surroundings, the memories of the people she’d known and loved fading into the back of her mind.

“ Days gone by” She thought tiredly.  “Nothing but days gone by.”  A shudder worked its way through her body and she physically thrust Islinn away.  Memories were nothing but old wounds to cut open at one’s leisure and she’d done enough bleeding for the day.

“It’s okay, Islinn.  A lot of men rode on that Crusade, your father wasn’t the only one.”  Alora struggled with a smile.

 For a moment, her vision blurred and she blinked her eyes rapidly to clear them.  Islinn watched her with a troubled frown and Alora felt an unfamiliar wave of affection for the girl. Horrified, she quickly moved back over in front of the fireplace and sat back down in front of the tray of food. 

"No more staying at Inns." She abruptly decided as she helped herself to another piece of bread. Hopefully the weather would hold out until she reached Lochedge because she knew she simply couldn’t deal with the closed in feeling of four walls and the close proximity of Islinn for another night.

Pity from a Sentinel.  Any other time…or it coming from any other person besides Islinn…she would have found it humorous.  Definitely worth a snort of uneasy laughter, much like watching a few town hangings where the doomed were trussed up like a chicken yet made a vain attempt to turn their head to avoid the slip of the noose.  It was that kind of funny to her, the kind where you laughed because if you didn’t, you’d surely be crying.  But knowing so much about Islinn in such a short time told her it was genuine so it wasn’t funny, it wasn’t comfortable, and it wasn’t anything she liked feeling at all. 

“Are you still hungry? No sense in letting this food go to waste.”  Alora remarked and was surprised at her casual tone.  Islinn approached and sat down across from her.  Alora reached across the tray to help herself to another meat pie and froze as Islinn grasped her hand.

“Why are you touching me?”  Alora’s voice was cold.

“Because I can. “Islinn replied gently.  “You do know…you have just as much right to grieve for what was taken from you as anyone else?  It doesn’t hurt less because…of who you are.”

Alora didn’t know what to say.  She studied Islinn. 

“Brede needs to try a little harder to be worthy of you.” She thought but didn’t dare to say it out loud. Carefully, she removed her hand from Islinn’s and briefly touched the girl’s face with the tips of her fingers. 

“I do know that.  But thank you for saying it.” 

And she did know that. She knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt on days when everything had gone right and the townspeople had a higher toleration for her than usual.  But on the days like the one outside, where the sky was gray and the rain fell in sheets or the quiet nights when the silence between the rising and setting moon was vast, she wondered.  She wondered if her being gone that day had been her luckiest moment.  Or her unluckiest. She didn’t think she’d ever know for sure.

Alora leaned back and propped herself on her elbows.  She surveyed the uneaten food left on the tray.  There wasn’t much.

“I don’t think I could eat another bite.  You need to eat more of that; it’s just going to get tossed out if you don’t.”  Alora remarked as she gazed at the deep glow of the embers in the hearth.  She felt her eyes getting heavy.