Mixed Direction

Chapter Four: Baby Look What You've Done to Me!

{Zayn's POV}

"Okay! Yes, Ellie!" I reply to her as Lillie and Rosie scream their lungs out from their high chairs and Ellie wants a handful of grapes with her porridge, which already has sultanas in it but she wants grapes too like the kid on the box.

My hand grabs a handful of grapes out of the fridge and they're all cold, freezing, like Perrie's hands. Okay, focusing on something else!

"Lillie! No!" I hear Ellie scream and spin around to see Lillie slapping he hands down into the mashed banana, sending it flying everywhere. Fucking hell...

I rush to Ellie and see all her porridge is gone. What? URGH!

"Here," I shove the grapes into Ellie's hand. "Take these, go sit in the garden or something." I tell Ellie and she nods, clambering down off her seat and heading outside, leaving the sliding door slightly open.

Next: the twins. I run over to them and take away Rosie's finished bowl of food that I've finished feeding her. In one swift movement I unclip the buckle on her high chair and then grab her out, placing her on the ground.

I set up the baby gates in the kitchen so they cant crawl into there, so she's okay to crawl off by herself.

I then sit on the edge of the table and pick up Lillie's bowl of banana, feeding it to her as she stops crying. Once that's finished I get Lillie out too and then head to the kitchen to grab a cloth.

The cold water feels refreshing against my hands and it is a little calming. Feeling of stress being washed away.

Whilst I'm wetting the cloth under the gushing water from the tap I notice Lou Duck come into the living room and run right past Rosie, but as he does she's grabs his feathers and yanks at them. Oh shit!

"Rosie!" I call out, dropping the cloth but it's too late, Lou Duck turns around and pecks at Rosie's fingers before running off outside.

Wait for it.... Rosie erupts into screams and cries. I jump over the gate and rush into the lounge, picking her up as she cries.

I don't know how long I'm going to be able to cope with people crying. Everyone's emotionally wrecked at the moment for one reason or another.

"Shhh baby, it's okay." I coo at her as I bounce her against my hip, walking towards the door out to where Ellie will be. I see her outside chasing the ducks. Great!

"Ellie! Inside now!" I yell and Ellie nods, running towards me. I shut the door behind her, still bouncing the screaming baby on my hip. "Ellie, can you go upstairs?" I ask her and Ellie looks disappointed.

"But I wanted to play outside." Ellie tells me. Okay, it's great she wants to be outside, but it's snowing and I don't want her getting sick, her arms already broken.

"No El." I reply.

"Why?" Ellie asks innocently, but of course I cannot react well because I'm a wreck.

"Ellie just get upstairs!" I yell at her and she immediately turns around, running as fast as she can away from me, stumbling over her feet a little. Shit... I've fucked up that.

Next I take Lillie upstairs and place her in her cot where she plays happily, but Rosie is sill crying. I venture back downstairs and into the music room.

I take a seat on the couch and flip the crying baby over into a cradle position, bouncing her a little as I look down into her big brown eyes.

Rosie's eyelashes are covered in tears and her cheeks are all flushed, because of crying and because the twins are teething.

"Shh, Roo. It's okay baba." I soothe her and slowly but surely her crying quiets down. When she stops she just looks up at me and let's out a squeak, one of her small hands gripping at my t- shirt.

A small hiccup comes from her and I chuckle a little at how adorable she is as she releases another one. I flip her up onto my shoulder at pat her small back to help her out.

Once her hiccups die down, I rest her down in my lap again and she just enjoys lying there, looking around, taking in everything.

I just rest back a bit and close my eyes, trying to take a moment of peace to myself. I hear a squeal from upstairs and then laughter. Okay, it's okay.

The kids are okay, Perrie is stable apparently, but that doesn't really mean she's okay and I'm far from okay. This is testing how I'd do if Perrie didn't make it and I'm not proving to be very good.

I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes dry before looking back down at Rosie who is making some sort of fish face.

I chuckle a little as the doorbell rings. I stand up and compose myself a little more, flipping Rosie around onto my hip before I open the door to reveal Alfie.

"Alfie! Hey!" I smile at him and he gives me a smile back as Arlen stands at his feet. "Hey Arlen," I smile at her.

"Hi Zayn!" Arlen waves back to me. I tell Arlen that Ellie is upstairs so that's where she goes, I let Alfie in and he stops me in the entrance area.

"No bull crap, how are you?" Alfie asks me, brown eyes meeting brown eyes. I just shake my head and Alfie pulls me into a tight hug. I hug him back and then Alfie takes Rosie from me.

"She's going to be fine, lad. It's Perrie, shes like one of the strongest people I know!" Alfie says to me ad I chuckle, nodding my head in agreement. "Anyways, do you want Zoe and I to look after the kids tonight? We're more than happy to"

Wow. That's a really kind gesture. they have their own two kids, but I guess the twins and Little Caspar are the same age and Ellie and Arlen are. but I feel bad...

"I don't want them to be a burden-"

"Zayn, shut up!" Alfie butts in. "I'm taking your children." He walks off upstairs. Well okay then.... Sure Alfie!

I chuckle a little and walk into the living area, cleaning up the banana, bowls, cutlery and over crap from the failed breakfast.

When I'm done Alfie comes back down with a twin in each arm and a bag on his back with Lillie and Rosie's things in it. Ellie has a backpack with things as she talks to Arlen.

"Thank you so much!" I say to Alfie and he tells me not to fret. I hand over the baby bag and Alfie takes that too. I place a gentle kiss on both of the twins foreheads and then bend down to Ellie as the others head to the cars.

"I'm sorry," I hug her and she hugs me back. "I love you Baba, remember your manners and behave please. And look after Roo ad Lillie too." I say to Ellie and she nods her head.

"Bye bye Daddy. Love you," Ellie runs off but stops, turning around. "Look after Mummy." She adds and then disappears.

I nod my head anyways as I make my way over to the couch. My body drops and I fall back into the soft material.

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek and my shaking left hand reaches into my pocket, pulling out my phone. I open my eyes and through my blurry vision I find her contact.

I hold the phone up to my ear and cough, trying to hold back my tears. after a few rings she picks up, her voice warming my body and giving me a sense of calm.

"Zayn! What a surprise! What's up beautiful boy?" She answers the phone and I choke my tears back. "Zayn?" My Mum questions.

"It's Perrie, Mum," I tell her and here her go silent. "Mum she's in a coma, I need you Mum. Please." I beg her. I guess we often take our parents for granted when we're young and then kind of forget a little when we're older, but times like this is when you need your Mum. You'll always need your Mum, and that's why my girls cannot lose theirs.

"I'm coming. I'll be there soon." Mum replies before the line goes dead.

Pain is only relevant if it still hurts, to quote Ed Sheeran- and it defiantly hurts. I feel as if I've had a javelin thrown at me and there's a never ending flow of blood filled with pain gushing out of my body.

I just want to be able to hug Perrie and it'll all be okay. But it's not. It just isn't. Baby look what you've done to me....

Quote: #pointlessblogtotherescue