Mixed Direction

Chapter Thirteen: Regret

{Niall's POV}

I'm not too sure whether I'm going to regret what I told Ella, but it seems like it's a little too late- because her first plane on her journey to Australia has just started moving out towards the runway.

"Mummy has gone," Asha sighs as she rests upon my hip. "But, we're going to have lots of fun! Aren't we Daddy!" Asha looks at me happily, her eyes glistening with joy.

"Yes Ash, we will," I chuckle in response and place a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Ella has left to go to Melbourne to work in the Royal Children's Hospital. It's about a year long contract, and by the looks of things, Asha and I aren't going to move out there for a while. We found Ella a flat to live in for the meantime, but Asha and I still need to do a lot of business here .... including making a decision whether we will actually move out there.

I've looked at schools, real estate market, where to live. I've done everything, but I just cannot seem to make the decision. I guess I will have to, and I understand that the best decision for Ella and my relationship, and for Asha, is to move to Australia.

Odds are, that by August, we will be living in a rental house in Australia and Asha will be attending a little Melbourne school and she will have friends with Australian accents and I won't get mobbed as much and we'll go to parks at night because it will be warm and it will all be okay.... I hope.

{Louis' POV}

I watch the couple across the table from the real estate agent and myself signing the documents to purchase their new home, looking as happy as Larry. And I mean the saying, not Harry and myself.

The real estate agent says and does some other stuff and then goes, leaving me alone in the room with the couple who are buying Eleanor and my home. Well, it's kind of just my home at the moment, since Eleanor left in January and it's now the first couple of days of April.

"Are you excited?" I ask the happy couple, Violet and Tom. They both smile brightly and nod their heads. "Yeah, well it's the perfect home! And even more perfect for starting a family!" I smile, acknowledging their soon to be coming baby.

"It's what we've always dreamed of, thank you so much!" Tom replies.

"Well, I'm really happy for you!" I chuckle. "And it's time I moved on," I add, not to sure whether I'm telling them or convincing myself.

"Well, bye Louis. Thank you again," Violet hugs me and then they leave.

Maybe it is time for me to move on. I know I haven't fought for Eleanor back, but do I really want her back? I mean, is the fact that I'm not chasing after her an indication that I don't want her?

Do I even love Eleanor? Yes, of course I do. But maybe not like I did. I still care deeply for her, but I seem to be happier without Eleanor. I find more enjoyment in being around Zayn, Perrie and their girls than I ever did with Eleanor.

Okay, besides the fact Zayn and Perrie have been at each other's throats lately, like constantly fighting, I think I'm better off with them- plus, the children mean the world to me.

Maybe it's just how life is going to be.

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People often regret things they say and do. I've always wanted to live a life with no regrets though. To die when it's my time, and to feel satisfied with what I've done with my life. And now I'm kind of thinking that I need to end things with Eleanor. I personally do not feel that I would ever be able to be with Eleanor again.

Yes, it seems harsh, but it's how I feel. Yes, I might be making a rushed decision, but for once I feel right about something in this relationship. It's almost as if over the past years I've been living in what I expected my life to be like, and I got so caught up in it all that I went along with it. Now I want to live my life, making the right decisions for me and the people I love. That's why I feel I should let Eleanor go.

"Most people don't speak what they think," Perrie's voice breaks through my thoughts and I jump, almost spilling my tea.

"Pardon?" I respond, looking at Perrie who is chopping up vegetables for dinner. Zayn and Perrie offered for me to move in with them, so I'm using the spare bedroom as my home. I keep asking if I'm a burden, but they both decline.

"You just said everything you were thinking just then. All that stuff about Eleanor, I heard it," Perrie informs me. Oh fuck. Oh fucking hell. I have gone mental thinking about all this! I really need to fix it before Jesy ships me off to a mental asylum.

"Right," I mutter.

"Is that really what you think?" Perrie asks, tossing the vegetables onto the tray and then putting salt and pepper on them. "I'm not disagreeing, it all seems legit," Perrie adds, placing the tray into the oven to cook with the meat. "So, what are you going to do about it?" She asks, turning back around and looking at me.

"I don't know, Per," I sigh, my hands finding my face as the rub against it, trying to soothe me. I don't want to hurt Eleanor, like she hurt me. I'm a firm believer of 'two wrongs don't make a right'. But then again, I'm torn over whether I should actually think about myself. Be selfish in this situation.

"Louis, you're not being selfish if you do what you want for once," Perrie chuckles. Wait? I'm certain I didn't say that out loud....

"Do you read minds?"

"What? No!" Perrie replies, confused. "Oh! Hang on, I understand. Nah. I just know you. You'd be thinking about hurting Eleanor and not thinking about yourself," Perrie explains. "Lou, I'm a sucker for not thinking about myself. But that's part of being a parent," Perrie makes me laugh a little. "So I know that once in a while, you need to think about yourself, okay?"

"Yes, Mummy."

Perrie laughs with me and I look at Perrie's phone, which is open on a certain contact as her phone rests in her hand. Eleanor.

Part of the problem. I need to move on. I can't be stuck in this situation anymore. And of course it's going to hurt, I have loved Eleanor for a long time, but I think it will be a benefit to both of us if this ends.

"I'm not going to lie, Zayn, Dani and I have seen Eleanor, so I think it's time you did too," Perrie hands over her phone and then leaves the room, patting my back on the way out.

Looking down at the contact on the phone, I feel a whole heap of fear and guilt, but I know if anything is going to be better, I need to see Eleanor.

I press call and wait for an answer. The wait feels like forever, but soon enough there's and answer.

"Hey, Perrie?" Eleanor answers, sounding a little confused why Perrie would be calling.

"Um no. It's Louis."