Mixed Direction

Chapter Forty- One: Never Ending F**king Black Tunnel

{Louis' POV}

When was the last time you were truly happy? The last time you could say that you were having a great day, a great week, that life was great for you? Without trying to rub it in anyone's faces, I'm currently living a life that within, I am actually happy.

Henry is what is making me happy. Although he cries in the middle of the night, and I don't have boobs that are any use to him, so I have to make up milk for him frequently, having a four-month-old son is everything I could've ever wanted. Maybe I've had a child differently to how I kind of planned, but that doesn't matter. I have a son, I am a father, I am happy.

"Nah, that's fine Hazz. Yes, I'm sure. Okay, yep. Bye," I hang up my phone and shove it back into my back pocket as I walk along the aisle, my hands firmly wrapped around the handle of the trolley.

We're having a meet up for Jade's birthday this evening, just a family friendly one. Harry wants me to purchase some food to go on the platter he's making. So in other words, olives, cheese, crackers, maybe some nuts, dip, that kind of stuff.

I head to the deli section and grab the things I need, then to the cracker section, finally followed by the health food area where all the nuts and other healthy crap is. As I'm throwing a packet of macadamia's into the trolley, I notice a familiar face.

"Hey Artie," I smile as I walk up to her.

"Louis! Hey!" Artie turns around, placing her food into the basket she has, a bright smile on her face like always. "Hello Henry! Aww! You're so damn cute!" Artie tickles Henry and he kicks his legs around, giggling. I've got him in the front pack but facing forwards, 'cause he's getting to that stage where he likes to observe everything.

"How's he going?" Artie questions, continuing to grab things off the shelf. Most people would find it rude that she's not talking face to face with me- but I don't mind.

Also I have a tendency to in a sense, stare, in the most normal possible way, at her, because she is truly beautiful.

"He's doing great! We're waking up around one in the morning and then again at three, final wake up time varies from seven until nine, but it's okay," I explain to Artie. "His last check up was great and he's growing well, so we're very happy!" I bounce Henry in the carrier and he giggles.

"Well that is great!" Artie gently rubs the back of Henry's head. "And how are you going? Tired?"

"No, I'm happy," I smile. Artie grins back and then out of nowhere gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for adopting him. You're his Dad. He is very lucky to have someone like you," Artie explains her reason for the kiss.

"Thanks," I feel the heat rising in my checks, especially in the one she kissed.

"Bye bye gorgeous boy," Artie tickles Henry. "See you Louis," Artie waves as she walks off, leaving me there blushing. I don't know what the heck that was, I mean me turning into a tomato. But I liked it, a lot.

{Perrie's POV}

We get addicted to something that takes away the pain. But what if the thing you get addicted to is the thing you're trying to take the pain away from? I can't keep this going, I need to end this addiction because I don't think it's going to do me much good in the end, either of us much good.

"You like her," I tell Louis after he explains his meet up with Artie. "Ask her out on a date," I add, resting back into the couch, pulling my legs up into a crossed position.

"Pardon? Are you mental?!" Louis replies from his spot next to me. "I'm seriously getting relationship advice from you?" Louis chuckles.

"Excuse me, I know how to maintain a relationship," I reply and then stop. "I did now how to," I correct myself as Rosie comes running across, extending her arms for me to pick her up. I pull her into my lap and she just sits there, slumped down into my lap, facing forwards.

"Do you really think I like her?" Louis asks.

"How am I supposed to know that?!" I turn to look at him. "I am not living in your emotion centre," I remind him and he chuckles. "But from what you are telling me, I think you do, or at least you should ask her out," I explain. "But I'm not allowed to give relationship advice," I add and Louis whacks me across the shoulder whilst I laugh.

Rosie hands me the book I didn't even realise she had. I open it up and flick to the start of the book, holding it in front of us both so I can read it to her. As I read 'Where is the Green Sheep', Rosie keeps laughing and pointing things out on the page, I can't help but smile at how gorgeous she is.

"I don't think anyone can know real love until they're a parent," Louis says once I finish reading to Rosie. "You might not be the best option for relationship advice, but you're a good mother. Don't let what is going on between you two, effect what is important for them," Louis motions to Rosie, and then look across the room at Ellie and Lillie who are playing with Asha and Zuri.

Zayn is standing with Niall and just talking to him. I don't want to waste any of Niall's time with anyone, but I can't go on with this any longer.

"Lou, can you hold Rosie," I hand him the baby in my lap and then get up, walking over to Zayn and stopping next to him, my hand resting on his forearm as Niall finishes talking. Zayn looks at me when Niall stops. "Can we talk for a moment please?" I ask.

"Sure," Zayn nods and hands Niall his drink. "I'll be back in a moment," Zayn tells Niall and Niall nods as I take Zayn out of the room and into Jade and Harry's study. Zayn walks in and I close the door behind me, pulling down the blind on the glass doors.

"What's up?" Zayn asks and I walk up to him, about fifty centimetres away.

"No more sex," I say outright. "I can't do this anymore, we can't do this anymore," I tell him and Zayn nods. "I do love you, but this is hurting both of us more than it should. Our daughters are what we have to look after, to love, not each other."

"Okay," Zayn nods. "This is it?"

"Hmm, this is it," I nod in reply and wrap my arms around his waist as he hugs me back. "Thank you," I mumble, stepping back. "For everything," I add and then walk out of the room, heading back down the hallway and into the living area. I take a deep breath as I walk back over to Louis.

I sit down next to him and take Rosie back, sitting her in my lap as I see Zayn come back out of the corner of my eye. Louis looks at me, his blue eyes meeting mine.

"You know, goodbyes only hurt when the story is not finished, and the book has just been closed," Louis says. I place Rosie down on the floor and she runs back to the others whilst I turn to look at Louis again.

"Depends on the book," I reply, closing my eyes and seeing the same train flying down the dark tunnel. The never ending fucking black tunnel.