Mixed Direction

Chapter Five: Break Me

{Danielle's POV}

"It has to be perfect!" Liam fusses as he changes the table cloth for third time this afternoon. I just lean against the wall and watch him obsessing over the layout of the table and the positioning of everything. 

No, Liam has not gone mental. He just really, really wants to get this perfect and make sure this evening is a nice experience for everyone. 

Liam and I had the idea that maybe, considering today is the twelfth of January, we could probably do something nice. Zayn's officially twenty- nine and currently, kind of a single Dad. Obviously he still has Perrie, except we're not too sure what's happening there. 

All Zayn's been is stressed and obviously hurting, like seriously bad, so Liam has been cleaning like a neat freak the whole day whilst I have prepared a roast meal for everyone for dinner. Jesy is apparently bringing a cake- last time she did that it was burnt to the core- and everyone is bringing a small gift, just to actually acknowledge Zayn's birthday. 

He is having a hard time at the moment. We all are. So tonight can just be some time to get together and just try to drag our minds away from people in comas, emotions running wild, husbands cheating, wives leaving and all the other shit happening in our lives. 

I've tried contacting Eleanor. Calling, texting, face time, everything! I haven't told anyone, but I did get a text from her about midday today, it was just three x's in a row. xxx. 

It hurts to think she's just run off. I though Eleanor was stronger than that, I thought she wasn't one to shy away from drama and trouble, but I do understand her in the prospect that she didn't want to hurt Louis. I presume that's why she ran, it's the only scenario I can come up with!

"Hellooooo!" I hear Jesy's voice and then she enters the living area, carrying a plate with glad wrap around it, a chocolate cake underneath. It actually looks edible this time, which is good! Jordan is holding a bottle of lemonade and a bottle of wine. 

Liam and Jordan place the items in the kitchen as Jesy walks over to me and we give one another tight hugs. Jesy gives good hugs, all the Little Mix girls do. Actually, I am always going to be eternally grateful to those four girls. 

We've been friends for ages. I knew Jade through Liam and obviously Perrie through Zayn, and then I got to know Jesy and Leigh- Anne after Liam and I separated- the second time. They've always been such great, supportive friends to me and I cannot think of four more amazing girls. They're just so happy and positive, clever and caring, kind and patient. They're my idols. 

"Jes Jes!" Zuri comes sprinting over and Jesy pulls away from me, scooping Zuri up into her arms. Zuri hugs Jesy's neck as Jesy encloses Zuri's little body into a tight hug. I smile at their cuteness before venturing into the kitchen area and checking on the meat and vegetables. Almost ready!

"Mummy! Can Jes Jes and I play dress ups?" Zuri calls out to me from the lounge. I look up and Jesy and Zuri are both giving me cheesy smiles. I laugh and nod my head as Zuri runs over to her dress up chest, grabbing out an assortment of items for her and Jesy to wear.

Zuri doesn't understand what's going on at the moment. I mean, she keeps asking why 'Pallie' is in hospital, but she doesn't quite understand. Ellie doesn't either, so it's okay because the two of them are happy being toddlers, like they should. Zuri and Ellie have also asked where Eleanor is, but we just tell them she's gone away for a while.

By the way, Zuri cannot pronounce the double 'r' sound. So, Harry is Hally and Perrie is Pallie. I don't know how she got 'pa' from 'pe', but it's stuck! So, it's Pallie and Hally. 

Within twenty minutes everyone coming is here. Louis, Niall, Ella, Asha, Harry, Jade, Jesy, Jordan, Leigh- Anne, Jordan, Zayn, Tricia, Ellie, Lillie, Rosie, Liam, Zuri and myself. It seems weird without Eleanor and super strange without Perrie, but what we have is good. 

Everyone takes a seat at the table and I finish serving up the food onto all the plates, then they all get served out to everyone with the help of Liam and Louis. I then take my seat in between Liam and Jade and we all start eating, chatter and laughter filling the room. 

I love how even in the toughest of times we can enjoy ourselves, I've even seen Zayn laughing and smiling with us all, which is a major improvement. Louis has been acting fine the past week or so since Eleanor left, I don't know how long it has been exactly, but it's obvious he's really hurting- plus, Ellie told me she found him curled up in a corner. 

{Zayn's POV}

I look at Ellie as she sits to my left, eating her roast meal happily, coming out with random lines and stupid comments every now and again. This morning I was awoken to a small child wriggling around in my bed, and then when I opened my eyes I was faced by Ellie's face, literally two millimetres away from mine. 

For a while after that we just lay there together whilst Ellie's small pointer finger traced the tattoos lining my arms and torso, except her finger never once touched the tattoo of Perrie, almost as if it was out of respect. But I don't want that to be the case, I just want to be able to hold her and tell her how much I love her again. 

I never said it. That whole day. Not once did I tell her I loved her. I regret it so much, I just want to go back and tell her so many times, even if it means she ends up where she is now, at least I would've had the chance to tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me, even if it was the last time. I cannot lose her.... we cannot lose each other. 

"Zayn!" I hear Louis' voice snap me out of my daydream and look up to see everyone looking at me, worried expressions spread across their faces. "Lad, you okay? You look a little lost," Louis states and I just nod my head, trying to reassure them. 

"Okay," Liam chuckles and the others all send smiles my way. I smile back weakly and feel my bum starting to vibrate. I reach down into my back pocket and pull out my phone, an unknown number ringing upon the screen. 

"Who is it?" Leigh- Anne asks. I just shrug my shoulders as the phone continues to ring. I should probably answer it... 

I slide the button for accept and apologise to the others, getting up and walking over to the lounge. They all look across and I hold my phone up to my ear. 

"Hello," I answer, my voice coming out cracked and dry, like it has been the past few days. 

"Zayn Malik?" The lady on the other end of the phone asks. I reply with a yes and I hear her let out a breath. "Hi, I'm Angela from St. James' Private Hospital," she introduces herself. 

The hospital. That's where Perrie is. I immediately feel my body tense and the lump in my throat returns. I hear the people at the table trying to talk to them but my vision becomes cloudy and I start to shake, zoning out them all. 

"Y- y- yes." I stutter in response to Angela. 

"It's about your wife, Perrie," Angela tells me and I nod my head, although she can't see me. I feel my body starting to shut down, immediately thinking the worst. Angela's next words are the words that break me. "I'm sorry-

to be continued....