Mixed Direction

Chapter Forty- Six: What We Fear

{Jade's POV}

When something bad happens, I've had a tendency to be entirely stereotypical. If something bad happens, I take a shower and I try to drown away everything bad. Following that, I seem to always cry myself to sleep, in the bed, under all the covers, my hair an absolute mess. Then I eat everything in the fridge, then everything in the cupboard. I tell everyone else that I am fine, when truth beholds that I am most certainly a train wreck, and I know that they can see that, but still I say I am fine. After a whole heap more crying, I then realise that everything around me is still standing. I realise that I am just waisting time. I make my bed, fix my hair, pay my water bill, and step outside. Finally I tell everyone that I am good, because I am actually good.

Other people do it in different ways. Ways that I can't ever seem to muster up. Leigh- Anne is much the same as me. Perrie is completely and utterly unknown. I can't even begin to explain what she does, because you don't actually know until it's too late that she is falling. Jesy, she tends to hang around us, and you can see the complete look of horror on her face....

"Are these things any good?" Leigh questions out loud, holding up a baby bundler, one of those things with the arms that doesn't have legs, you wrap your baby in them.

"Ellie wouldn't use them, she kicked around to much. The twins loved them, depends on the baby," Perrie replies, not actually paying attention to Leigh, just answering whilst looking at the toddler clothing.

"Aww, look at this," I pick up a velvet sort of quilted navy coloured one piece. "It's so adorable!" My thumb rubs across the soft and comfortable looking material.

"I like that," Jesy takes it as I hand it over. "Aww, they're all so tiny and cute. I want to buy it all," Jesy gushes and places the one piece over her forearm, obviously happy with the clothing I suggested.

I personally cannot wait to have children. It doesn't necessarily mean I want them right now, but I'm thirty- one this year, so sometime within the next few years would be nice. I understand that they're will be some hard days, but the good ones will be what makes the bad ones worth while. Everything baby related is so gorgeous, even when they become children, it's all so cute!

"Okay, so Rosie was having a dick head moment, and tore her casual dress on her tricycle. I need to buy her a new one, but Lillie also spilt beetroot down the front of her casual dress," Perrie explains, looking at the four dresses she's holding, causing us to laugh a little. "Which one for Lillie?" Perrie holds up two.

"The one with flowers," Leigh points at the black based dress with purple and red sort of coloured flowers scarcely placed across it. "And the plain grey one for Roo," Leigh adds and Jesy and I both agree with her. I was going to pick those ones anyway.

"Are you excited now Jes? Only four weeks until your baby boy comes!" Leigh beams at Jesy and I watch as Jesy nods back, a smile on her face but worry in her eyes, fear trying to break the shield of strength, that seems to be getting weaker by the second.

I watch as Jesy's smile cracks away, her facial expressions making her seem like the whole world is crumbling to pieces right before her eyes. Horror is written across her face, the symbol that something feels, seems, or is wrong for her at the moment.

"Jesy, what's wrong?" Leigh panics and grabs her shoulders. "Is it the baby? Are you in labour? What's wrong?!" Leigh- Anne stresses.

"You can't be having cold feet about the baby, it's a bit late now," I remind her and Perrie laughs a little from where she is standing a couple of metres away. "Can you get over here! We need help! Jesy's having a crisis," I whisper yell at the blonde one. Perrie walks over and stands to the side.