Mixed Direction

Chapter Thirty- One: Shock Reaction

{Louis' POV}

Shock can save us. When people go into cardiac arrest they charge the paddles and shock the heart to bring it back to a normal rhythm and if you've been in a terrifying accident, the shock you are under can keep away the pain for a period of time. 

There's also personal shock though. The shock and surprise that comes from someone doing or saying something completely unexpected. It might be a good shock, or a bad shock. There is such a thing as bad shock. Either way, it's a feeling that comes upon us quickly. You just better hope for a shock that saves you, and not one that kills you. 

I sit nervously in the chair, situated diagonally behind Emma who is talking to Perrie. Perrie who is resting against the table, her blue eyes fixated upon Emma as she takes in everything that Emma is saying, nodding her head slightly, her body slightly closed up with her arms crossed across her chest, worrying me a little bit. 

"Okay," Perrie nods, taking a deep breath and releasing it again, looking at the ground, obviously thinking about everything that Emma just told her. 

"Perrie, are you willing to sign as the motherly figure towards James? As I have explained, no actual mothering is required, although if ever there were to be any need for you to do so, you would be willing to and you will help out Louis with certain aspects of brining up a child?" Emma asks Perrie, handing her the clipboard with the documents to sign. 

Perrie takes the clipboard and just looks at Emma, not once glancing across at me, which is making me worry that she won't actually sign them. And it's fair enough if she doesn't, because she has her own children to worry about, and not to mention her relationship is strained at the moment too.

That shock feeling hits me as Perrie picks up the pen, fumbling with it for a moment before pressing it against the paper and scribbling her consent, her eyes not once looking towards me. I was hoping that she'd sign it, but I was ready to be understanding if she didn't. But she did. Shock to the system, she did. 

"Can I meet him?" Perrie asks Emma, handing back the documents. Emma nods her head and hands me the documents to sign. I take them as Emma goes to collect Henry, leaving Perrie and I in silence. I don't dare say anything because she seems to still be processing what this all is. 

I look down at the document and sign in the spot next to Perrie's signature. Emma returns a few moments later and I hand her back the documents. Emma hands Henry over to Perrie and she holds him in her arms, straightening out his blanket as he starts to make happy noises and try to play with her hair. 

Henry's brown eyes lock onto Perrie's and she gives him a smile, making him start squealing and kicking his legs around excitedly. I smile from just watching them and Emma sits down next to me. 

"She'd make a good Mum," Emma says. 

"She has three daughters," I reply and Emma gives me a slightly shocked look. "Yep, a four- year- old and twin one- year- olds," I tell Emma and she pulls an 'aww' face. It's incredible how mentioning children and babies can make people melt at the thought, let alone the sight. 

After a while Emma says goodbye to us, telling Perrie that there will be a social worker coming around to see her in three days, just to have a talk to her, and then Emma leaves with Henry, allowing Perrie and I to head back to the car. 

We walk in silence along the hallway of the paediatric floor and soon come to the elevator, hitting the button and waiting for it to come, still standing in silence. I can't tell if Perrie is mad at me or confused or regretting what she did?

The elevator comes and we get inside, I press the ground floor button and then step back next to Perrie, waiting for the doors to close. I need to ask her what is up, because I can't bare to stand with her any longer worrying about if she's okay. I don't want this to be a burden upon her, or another thing to add her her long list of crap. 

"Per-"

"Do you want to know something?" Perrie cuts me off, her voice calm but her eyes still fixed straight ahead. "You're the person who when you have problems, I make those problems my problems too, because that is what you do for me," Perrie explains. 

The elevator opens and we walk out and head into the car park, walking across it towards our cars, Perrie walking a bit ahead of me, the cool breeze tingling my skin as I continue to think about shock. About loss. In a sudden moment you can be shocked.... also in a moment you can lose it all.

"You haven't cried," I point out as Perrie opens the door to her car, stopping and turning to face me. "You haven't said much about him leaving. About it all. You haven't expressed much. Make your problems my problems, remember that," I say. 

"Henry is beautiful," Perrie smiles slightly. "He's very lucky to have you. We're all lucky to have you Louis. I'll be the motherly figure or whatever," Perrie adds, making me smile. 

"What about your problems?" I ask.

"Nothing worse than thinking you have a chance when you really don't. I lost that a long time ago," Perrie says, making my heart crack at the words. If I knew anything that I could do, you'd be sure I'd be doing it all. 

But I can't... and that is what shocks me. 

{Danielle's POV}

We hold our futures in our hands. Or at least that is what my Dad used to tell my sister and I. That whatever we did in our lives reflected upon us. Most of the things that I have done I'd like to think reflect upon me well. That is why I believe my decision today, is also going to reflect well.

"So, do we like say what we promise each other? Kind of a like an alternate version of vows?" I ask Liam as I sit down next to him on the grass under the big old oak tree near the lake at the park. Zuri is playing about ten metres away with her frisbee. 

"I was going to," Liam tells me and I agree with him, grabbing my promise gift to him out of my pocket and holding the little velvet draw string bag in my hands. I decide to start and Liam agrees. 

"Liam, I promise to keep all of my promises," I tease and he laughs with me. "Okay, okay, proper thin now," I smile and then look into Liam's brown eyes, feeling a slight nervousness in my stomach. "I promise that I will make mistakes, that I will say stupid things, that I will get mad, that I will make some bad decisions, but I also promise, that to you, I will forever be faithful and I will love you until I draw my final breath," I say to Liam, pulling a long chain with a little silver pendant dangling off it. 

I hang the necklace around Liam's neck and the little pendant with the number 'twenty' engraved into it. The number twenty was always our lucky number, so I thought it suited perfectly. 

"Danielle," Liam takes my hands, smiling like a giddy idiot. "My promise to you is Zuri. I promise that she is the most beautiful and incredible girl in my life, and the reason for that is because she is just like the most beautiful and incredible woman in my life. Zuri takes after her mother, and I am deeply and will be deeply in love for many years to come, with her mother," Liam smiles. "Danielle, I promise to love you until I no longer physically can, then I will love you from above, or below, depending," Liam whispers and then pulls a silver bracelet out of his pocket.

Liam slides it onto my left wrist and I look down at the thin metal bracelet that has an almost tied knot in it, signifying that we're not married, but we're tied together. 

"I love you Danielle," Liam whispers and then presses his lips to mine as I take in the taste and emotions flooding through and out of the kiss. 

"I love you too Liam," I reply, looking into his eyes, my words full of truth and meaning.  We continue to look at one another until Zuri runs over excitedly. 

"Mummy! Daddy! Come play frisbee!" Zuri grabs our arms and we get up, heading out to the open space to play frisbee with her, as a family, like we should. Liam's promise still ringing through my mind like a never ending bell. Now making me the giddy idiot.