A Lover To Him

Chapter Thirty-one, Love confessions

It took me a minute to process everything he had told me, it was horrible, twisted, and dark. I blinked a couple of times, trying to understand everything he had told me, The story was long and dark, and once again, I realized how clueless I was six years ago. I knew there was something going on, but this? I never thought it would be so dark and twisted, it was so intense it almost made me sick to my stomach.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Caine. You never deserved any of this, and it wasn't your fault. I agree, you could have made better choices, but you couldn't have known that Marco Allen would make you do all of that because you had to pay for the debts." I said to him, looking at him with a soft expression on my face. I held so much sympathy for this man, and I admired him for his strength and braveness.

"You don't have to apologize, my love. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." Caine told me, kissing me softly on the lips. The kiss was filled with passion and sympathy, it told me everything that couldn't be expressed in words. Oh, I loved this man with all of my heart, he had full control and power over it. It was true even though I didn't always want to face it.

I had questions, he had left little things out of his story. He had kept all the dark details and parts hidden, covered them up by telling it in a lighter way, but I could tell it was heavy on his heart. It was strange how I related to him in some cases, I too had something that once was heavy on my heart. He had helped me make that weight lighter, and I wished to do the same for him.

Caine must have noticed I had questions, noticing the curiosity burning in my eyes. He smiled at me, showing me one of his rare smiles that warmed my heart in a second. He nodded carefully, encouraging me to ask those questions. He was willing to give me all the answers I needed, I could read what he was thinking.

"When you were in foster care, were you....." I was scared to ask him the question, I couldn't even get it out. My voice sounded shaky and unsure, I was scared of his answer because I didn't want it to be true. For once, I was scared to know the truth.

"Abused? I suppose I was mentally and physically abused, but I didn't know it was abuse back then. I thought I deserved all of it, I punished myself with those thoughts." Caine told me in a soft voice, pulling me closer towards him. I laid my head on his chest, closing my eyes at the sound of his beating heart. The sound made me calm.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered with a shaky voice as Caine made hushed sounds. I looked up at him, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks again. Caine's hand cupped my face, his thumb caressing my cheeks softly as he wiped a tear away. He shook his head, telling me there was no need to apologize to him. We were silent for a couple of minutes, both lost in our own thoughts.

"What do you do with your anger, now? I suppose you quit working for Marco Allen and stopped fighting in that godforsaken place," It took a while before I interrupted the silence between us, I still needed a little time to process everything. He tried to keep his story light, but it was still heavy on my chest. To think, to realize he had to go through all of that, it was not nothing.

"It was a long process of getting out of that dangerous world. Marco Allen isn't one who easily lets you go, even though he once told you otherwise. He made me a deal two years after I left you. The first two years after you left I was extremely angry, angry at myself and the world. I had left you because of this world, and yet, I did nothing to get out of it. All I wanted was to release my anger, it was the only thing I cared about aside from going through college.

Instead of getting out, I was only getting deeper into that shit world. I couldn't care less about my life, I had lost the only importance in it. I had left the one person that was important to me because I couldn't put her safety at risk. I only left you because I wasn't right for you, I was hurting you and your safety was at risk. I saw no other option but to break us apart.