A Lover To Him

Chapter Thirty-four, Saying goodbyes

Slowly I open my eyes, feeling like I've been sleeping on cloud nine all night. The warmth of his arms around me is something I never realized I missed so deeply. His arms wrapped around me make me feel safe and comfortable. I feel like I'm waking up in heaven with him beside me, sleeping peacefully and his arm secured around my waist. His warm breath brushes against my shoulder as he wraps his around me tighter, preventing me from moving or getting out of bed.

I slowly turn around in his arms, facing him. I look at how peaceful he looks sleeping, noticing how young he looks when he has no walls around him and no mask to hide his emotions from the rest of the world. A content small smile tucks the corners of his lips in his sleep, his hair is messy and wild from sleeping, and his breath brushes against my shoulder as I continue to stare at him. I could never get used to this view, this peaceful view.

Somewhere deep inside me, I feel the urge to paint this rise, my hands tingling to grab a brush and some paint, but I refuse to get out of bed. I don't want to wake him up, I know he doesn't sleep these long nights very often. He told me his mind refuses to let him sleep at all, making him toss and turn in his bed all night. Besides, he's usually showered in work, and he finishes it late at night when everyone else is sleeping in full peace.

I'm getting more and more sleep as time passes on, my mind leaving me alone and not showing me all of the memories of my crash. It's like I've finally accepted and faced everything the crash brought along. Now, I only get those terrible nightmares every once in a while, disallowing me to sleep at all for the remainder of the night. On those nights, I miss his arms wrapped around my waist and his breath brushing against my shoulder the most. I miss the safety and the comfort his arms bring me the most on those terrible nights.

Caine mumbles and moves beside me, and I feel him waking up. He places a soft kiss on my shoulder, making a small smile appear on my lips. It makes me realize how easy this is for a minute life seems as easy as it was when I was a child. I realized as I grew up that life was everything but easy, it was complicated, chaotic, and messy, and there was no way you could escape it. Yet, this small moment felt so easy and simple.

"Mon amour," Caine murmurs softly, pressing me closer to his chest. He places another kiss on my hair as his hands draw slow circles on my back. My head is against his chest, and a calm feeling dawns on me as I listen to his frequent heartbeat. I love to listen to his heart beating, the rhythmic sound made me feel so peaceful and calm.

"I wish we could wake up like this every morning," I whisper to him, my hand caressing his cheek as I moved away from him a little bit to allow me to see his face. Caine opens his eyes slowly, staring at me with those sleepy ice-blue eyes. A small smile tucks the corners of his lips, and his eyes shine with love and adoration.

"I'll make sure that wish comes true, my love," Caine whispers back, staring into my eyes with honesty and certainty. He places a soft kiss on my lips, a sweet passionate kiss filled with the love we share. It took us years to tell each other, to enlighten the other of the love we feel towards them, but it was clear now. All those years, I thought I was stupid for loving him because I was sure he would never feel the same, but he did. He loved me all those years.

I know he didn't allow himself to be with me, believing he was not good enough for me, but I don't think he sees himself the way I see him. He doesn't see the passionate man with a heart of gold behind the emotionless mask, he doesn't see that he's good enough for me. There's no other option for my heart, it's him forever or no one at all.

My heart fills with love as I look at him, wondering how he couldn't realize how amazing he was. He couldn't see how perfect he was for me, how he made me feel like I was the only girl in the world for him. I didn't want to believe we were meant to be together because I was afraid of another heartbreak caused by lies and empty promises, but I couldn't deny it anymore. I believed we were meant for each other because no one else made me feel so high as he did.