Valentine

Chapter 16: Love At First Sight

*11 weeks

The stress running through my house has me almost in a fit of tears this morning. Calum is due any minute to take me to my first appointment and I'm already miserable.

This week was by far the worst so far. I'm not getting morning sickness anymore but now I can barely stomach more then a few bites of food before I get horrible heart burn.

On top of that. Yeah there's more. My feet are already hurting.

I pull on my favorite pair of leggings finding that as long as my pants were stretchy I have no problems fitting them so far. I grab a random shirt slipping it on before grabbing a sweater Calum had left behind last night.

The one bright side to this was Calum has been around a lot more. They were home for a couple of weeks and we had many conversations about how we want to handle telling everyone about the baby.

A knock sounds on my door as I slip on my soft knit socks. "Come in Cal." I yell to the front door. Before getting up and gathering my purse and the detailed paperwork I had filled out.

The moment I see his face my body relaxes a little bit. "Stella. We're not in any hurry just slow down."

I nod stepping around him to get my shoes. I'm trying to hold it together but I can't seem to find the will as I sit down to put my shoes on.

It's the final straw when my shoes aren't fitting. They are too tight and they hurt. So as I become hysterical I peak down to Calum's face I have no idea how to explain what I'm feeling.

I feel like I've lost my mind and I can't control it. "My.. Sh-Shoes hurt." I cry out trying to calm myself as he rubs the sides of my legs.

"Okay. How about I get you your slippers and later we go get a pair of new shoes for you?"

It seems reasonable. Although wearing my slippers in public probably wasn't the move. "Calum the doctor is going to think I'm ridiculous for wearing slippers."

He just shakes his head a small smile coming to his face. "Who cares what he thinks. We always did things our own way anyways right." A small hiccup surfaces as he pulls me into his arms.

"I know this weeks been hard but I'm always here. You have been miserable you are allowed to be emotional remember what Laura said this week."

That was another thing. I started going to the counselor a couple weeks ago. It was uncomfortable but I actually found myself liking what she had offered me.

She was a non-biased opinion who gave me pretty solid advice.

Calum waits for me to acknowledge his question. "Yeah. I remember."

"Okay then. Let's get going and when we're done we'll go to get food. We can go wherever you want. I know you've been hungrier in the mornings lately." He was right. He noticed everything.

He stands up reaching his hand out for me and I accept happily. I feel horrible. Lately I've been a bomb that Calum has had to decode continuously.

Most of the time he's very good at it though. Saying all the right things to help me think rationally.

______

How can you love someone before you've even met them. I never understood it until the moment the image of our baby popped onto the machine. The moment I saw it's little button face and hands scrunched I fell in love.

It's hard to believe that's inside of my body right now. I have yet to feel it and my body has barely changed yet besides feeling sick and a little bloated.

We watch the baby moving all sorts of ways on the monitor and when it's heart beat flows through the room my life feels complete.

It makes this week of absolute torture worth it. The tears that flow aren't forced as the swooshing noise fills the room.

When I meet Calum's eyes I see a similar look. He grabs my hand intertwining our fingers. "That's our baby." He whispers against my hand as the tech takes pictures of our baby in each spot.

I don't really understand what she's doing but I don't care as long as she gets what she needs.

When she's satisfied with the amount of pictures taken she announces she is going to go grab the OB to go over everything.

As she steps out I realize this is real. I'm almost 12 weeks along already and we are going to have to tell people soon.

"Calum. When are we going to tell people about this. I think your family and mine should know soon. I mean that is if you want to tell them. That's all up to you." He stops me by pressing a small kiss to my lips.

"Hey. Slow down. We can tell them whenever you want. If you want to wait till the second trimester. If you want to tell them now. It's for us to decide."

I try to think of what we should do but I have no opinion on it. "I don't know Calum. It stresses me out to think about it because I feel guilty like if we tell one person then we have to tell everyone."

He shakes his head. "No. that's not true we will tell whoever we want we don't owe anyone that."

I weigh that. It's not that I think we owe it to people I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I decide not to argue it because I know I've been a lot already and talking about the semantics wouldn't change the issue at hand. "You're right Cal. I think we should tell the people close to us soon though. We can do it in a fun way."

He seems to think about if for a second before he sighs and responds. "Okay. However you want to do it I can help." I sit up slightly kissing his cheek. I wish he had more of an opinion. I decide to give him more time to think about it though.

The doctor comes in shortly after. I almost cry when he says all of my symptoms are pretty normal and suggests I eat smaller meals more often and buy bigger shoes.

It doesn't feel all that helpful and as we schedule our next appointment I'm still in a stressful state.

It doesn't last long when I get a glimpse of the small black and white scan they had printed out for us in the room. I stare at the little limbs and tiny nose and suddenly everything feels complete with Calum sitting by my side.

Whatever we decide we will do it together.