UNDER THE MOON, Remus Lupin

xxvii.

MIXED EMOTIONS

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"Tell me about your friends from school. I don't know anything about you as a teenager." Alice placed her chin on Remus' shoulder as he graded the homework from the 5th-years in front of the fire.

He chuckled and shook his head, keeping his focus centered. Alice grazed his inner thigh with her hand. "Alice, darling. I'm very behind on grading."

"Please? You can grade papers when I leave!"

Remus glared playfully at her. "You never leave."

"You never tell me to! In fact, whenever I try... you grab my waist and pull me right back onto your lap." She made a good point. If she left, Remus would be too busy thinking about her to grade papers. With her present, it wasn't much easier.

Clearing his throat, Remus put the papers on the coffee table and faced her. "Fine, Wonderland. I'll tell you. We have James, Sirius, and... Peter. Who do you want to know about first?"

"Sirius, I suppose," Alice said, crossing her legs on the couch.

"Sirius," Remus nodded once and let his eyes drift toward the fire. "There's so much to say about him. I'm not sure where the best place to start is. He was my best friend. Along with James and Peter, we did everything together. Sirius is the most loyal person I know. I wish I could see him more often."

Alice perked up. "What else about him?"

"Well, most of our bad ideas either came from him or myself. I pretended that their scheming didn't interest me. In the end, I was the biggest partaker. Sirius was... well, actually he was my first kiss." Remus chuckled, remembering that clumsy night. It had first been an accident. A matter of stumbling the wrong way.

With a quiet snicker, Alice laid across Remus' lap with her back on his legs. "That's adorable. Were you two... did you date?"

Remus shook his head. "No, no. We went our separate ways at some point. Thanks to Peter. Though, it's not really a 'thanks.' I lost James too because of him."

Alice frowned and sat back up, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry, Remus. I couldn't imagine losing my best friends."

"It's a pain like no other. Heartbreaking..." he trailed off. "Peter was so shy and trustworthy. I never would've suspected any betrayal from him."

"And James? You haven't said much about him."

James hurt the most for Remus to talk about. Sirius was alive and somewhat well. Peter was dead and a traitor. It still hurt, the betrayal part. But James hadn't deserved anything that happened to him. Neither did Lily. "Oh, he was relentless and stubborn. He chased poor Lily Evans for 7 long, agonising years. It proved to be worth the trouble. There was nobody more loving and caring than James that I knew," Remus brushed a few flimsy strands of hair behind Alice's ear. "Until I met you."

"Oh, Remus. You flatter me." Alice grasped the side of his face and pressed her lips against his. Soft and delicate. Just like the love for each other they attained. Remus breathed in with his hand under her shirt, moving up and down on the bare skin of her waist. Falling in love had never been in the cards for Remus. And certainly not during this school year. Alice squeezed her way into his heart. Slipping through the cracks in the wall he put up.

He wanted her to stay. He needed her to stay.

Slowly laying her back on the couch, Remus pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it aside. Alice wrapped her arms around his neck. His pelvis was resting in between her legs which were now propped up. "Remus?"