UNDER THE MOON, Remus Lupin

lxii.

TOO YOUNG, TOO DUMB
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

It was at 6 a.m. that same morning that Professor McGonagall had been roaming the halls and heard the most heart-wrenching sound to be heard within these schools. The sound of a girl who couldn't dry her tears, had been throwing up her emotions, silencing herself from every word she wanted to scream out.

Professor McGonagall took Alice to Madam Pomfrey, as if that would help anything.

She wouldn't talk. Alice was fully shut down with heavy, violet bags beneath her eyes, the putrid taste of vomit resting on her tongue, and a frown stitched into her face. Her heart was carved out on a platter, being dissected, every memory hurting more than the last when prodded at. Alice wanted to stop thinking about him. But she couldn't.

All the little things. The big things. The necklace around her neck, the permanent ghost of his kisses on her body. The hickies buried deep beneath her skin. Every broken promise. Each shared smile, every "I love you" and every "I love you more."

Alice threw up again. This time into a bucket with someone rubbing her back, telling her that everything would be okay. How did she know? Madam Pomfrey tried to treat Alice's scars too. It was mostly useless.

Remus had given her more than one scar between last night and this morning.

One that will fade to merely torn tissue. And one that made her wish he had slit her throat instead.

Maybe that would've hurt less.

"Can you tell me what happened, Alice?" Madam Pomfrey's soothing voice went in one ear and out the other.

Alice was drained and the only things she was doing was blinking, breathing, and crying. Even the vomiting had stopped. She hadn't omitted a single sound in minutes.

Their Valentine's date in Hogsmeade.

The dragon convention.

Being his girlfriend.

Telling him she loved him.

All things she wanted to regret but couldn't.

Without Madam Pomfrey's permission, Alice left. She walked through the corridors, staring at each tile, retracing some steps as the way she would run to Remus after each day. Her bottom lip quivered and she closed her eyes. She didn't care if she walked into a blade set on fire, doused in the deadliest poison. When she closed her eyes, the only things to threaten her were her thoughts. That was more than enough for her to handle.

Alice didn't know where she was going. Because ever since Christmas, she'd really only gone one place. And now that she couldn't go back there... she didn't know what to do. Zephyr was all she had now. Well, she still had Aria. It was hard to look at Aria without seeing what she put Zeph through, but Aria would always be her sister. There was Harry too. But Harry didn't need to hear about his older sister's relationship problems. Even if they were at the hands of his Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

Who are you supposed to go to when your heart stops beating?

"What the fuck happened to you!?"

Clint had been leaning against a wall, but was now standing up straight and cautiously approaching Alice. She must've looked a mess because he almost appeared disgusted. Alice wished anyone else had been here except him. Then again... she didn't want anyone to see her like this.

So maybe it's a good thing Clint was here. He'd kept secrets for her before.

Instead of telling him to fuck off, leave her alone, or go fuck her sister again, Alice wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Clint tensed in an instant, then loosened up. He held her too. "What's wrong, Ali?"