UNDER THE MOON, Remus Lupin

xix.

HEARTBEAT

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The last few days had been nothing less than a nuisance. While Alice tried to pretend she wasn't mad at Remus, she was. But she was more mad at herself. Was she too young for all this crap? The feeling that came along with the constant rejection was enough to paralyze her into a loop of pain where she couldn't move for hours on end. Alice was spending a lot of time locked in her dorm, feeling like her heart was being torn apart.

Not for a second did she even consider giving up. She liked Remus far too much. Maybe being persistent and relentless was her problem. Those had been the key to her success since she was 11. Until recently, they'd proven to be useful. The problem was that Alice lowered all her inhibitions around Remus. He made her feel safe. That's why she let her guard down around him. Some of the things he was doing to her heart lately encouraged her to put her guard back up. To stick a wall in between them until he proved it wasn't necessary.

Taking into consideration that Remus had a job on the line, Alice was a little more easy on him. It's not as though she would flaunt him around Hogwarts the second she had him completely wrapped around her finger, but it would be nice to have some alone time with him where he wasn't constantly worrying about kissing her. Where they could freely kiss each other in an enclosed space.

Zephyr lay on Alice's bed next to her. They both stared at the ceiling quietly. He knew she was hurting. Any other day, Alice would've run right into Adrian's arms. He was good at comforting her, then doing what she asked without feeling like he was making it worse. But today was different. Alice would've done anything to be in Remus' arms.

"Adrian's been worried about you," Zeph said. "And Clint too." 

Alice silently breathed out through her nose. "This year has been a mistake."

"Why? All because Professor Lupin won't get fired just to sleep with you?" He grinned and put his arm around Alice's body.

"Yes."

Zephyr huffed. "Just be patient. December only just started."

"It's not even about him sleeping with me," she mumbled, hatefully glaring at the ceiling. The brown reminded her of Remus' eyes. "It's about him admitting he feels something for me."

He hated to let her down, but Zeph had to be honest with her since no one else would. "Alice, you might be waiting for something that's never going to happen. I mean you have Adrian here, waiting on you. He likes you, he matches your hyper personality... before you throw what you have with him away for Professor Lupin, just ask yourself what you want. You might find yourself describing all the things that Adrian is."

Alice covered her face and began whining loudly. "I don't want to do this anymore. I need Adrian."

"Yeah, you do!" Zeph said excitedly and rolled off the bed, dashing out the door to find Adrian.

Adrian came up a few moments later and smiled at Alice. "What's wrong, princess?" He scooped her up with an arm around her back and one under her legs. He sat her on his lap and kissed her cheek.

Alice dramatically pouted. "Is there something that makes me unloveable?"

"Not even. Professor Lupin doesn't know what he's missing out on." Adrian gently kissed Alice's lips. Alice threw her legs around both sides of his hips and grabbed his face. Here she goes again. Adrian's hands gripped the back of her thighs and he groaned, feeling her grind herself against his growing erection. They were each very good at making bad decisions together.