UNDER THE MOON, Remus Lupin

liv.

CONFUSION TO SEDUCTION?
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Alice had maturely decided that since she didn't feel up to discussing her father with her boyfriend, she'd keep it to herself and Harry. So maybe it wasn't so mature... but she couldn't bring herself to say anything to him when she saw him. Remus had dealt with Alice's problems all year. Worst problem of all: her mother. After that tragedy, she wasn't keen on dragging him into another one of her dilemmas. He didn't need anymore of that.

In the midst of her problems, Alice had found very little time to be around Remus without James crossing her mind. It was quite obvious that she'd been avoiding him. Remus never brought it up when he saw her, but it hurt immensely. If Alice was going to bring up her feelings at all, that would be her decision. Remus couldn't force her. He didn't want to.

Realizing that at some point she'd have to get over James, Alice began seeking out books in the library. Anything that might help her cope with death. Alice still hadn't coped with Blue's death. And he was just a cat. Granted, he'd been more than a cat to her; he was a best friend. That didn't change how she felt about death. She couldn't handle it properly. She was losing her mind. Then she thought about it again. How does one handle death properly?

At the end of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Alice was about to rush out of the door. But Remus was too quick. "Miss Lafitte, can I please see you?"

"I don't know, can you?" Alice gulped. Everyone else was out of the room now.

"You're really pushing me here." He smiled softly at her. He always smiled at her.

"I didn't touch you."

Remus sighed. "Alice... is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

That single question hurt more than any death Alice knew. "No! I just... I don't want to burden you."

"I'm here to listen to you, Alice. I want to listen you. That way I can help." Remus gently laced his fingers with hers and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't know how to say it to you. It's hard enough to say it to anyone," Alice said, kicking her shoes off, sending them flying across the floor.

Remus took out his wand and closed the door, then brought Alice over to his desk. He lifted her onto the desk and sat down in his chair. "Start slowly."

Alice wrinkled her nose and looked around. "I don't... really understand how to... process... death."

"Does this have to do with James?"

Thinking a moment, she nodded. "I know he's dead. But... how? Why? I know the answers, I just can't comprehend them."

"I understand, Alice. I do. You never really do comprehend them. One day you just start pretending that you know. And everything seems better." Remus knew it was probably not what she wanted to hear, but he couldn't lie to her. That would only make how she felt worse.

Without thinking, Alice jumped off the desk and wrapped her arms around Remus' torso. And she squeezed. Tight. "I love you."

"I know you do," Remus caressed the side of her face and guided her lips to his. She climbed onto his lap and sat comfortably with her knees on each side of his hip. As the full moon approached, Remus was getting hungrier for Alice's lips by the second. "I love you too, you know."

"Do you now?" Alice grinned, leaning in to kiss him again.

"Ohh, I do. You're all that I think about. I think about you..." Remus tilted his head down, lips trialing kisses down her neck. "As soon as I wake up..." Her jawline. Her neck again. "When I go to sleep..." One button undone. "When I dream..." Another button, another kiss. "When I daydream..." Her tie removed. "And every other waking second of every day I get to live as yours."