Can be read as a stand-alone.
Jules never knew who she was. She never had time to figure out who she was. After an incident that happened her college year, she ran to the only person she could. There she could face more obstacles. Dealing with bein...
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Tw.
I just want to die.
It's not everyday that I feel overwhelmed. It's most but not everyday. My safe place I used to run to after any small convenience was stripped away once I had Valeria. I'm truly grateful for my baby, I love her so much but I can't give her what she needs. I couldn't give her a mother she deserves. I could barely care for myself. I will never forget the look on my daughter's face when she was taken away from me.
A wet stream of hot tears fell from my eyes slowly dripping on my wrist. I was interrupted by a loud knock on my door. Jolting up quickly I grabbed the washcloth and blot the blood off my wrist "Hold on I'm coming!" I shouted, scrambling through the medicine cabinet for a band aid.
I quickly put the bandaid on my wrist and jogged to the door almost tripping in the process. Opening the door it revealed my lovely twin Kayden dressed in his normal after gym outfit. Kayden's eyes flicked from my arm to my face. He was obviously aware of my 'problem' to a point where he doesn't trust me anymore. Kayden has the power to get Val back for me, for us. But he wants to make sure I'm fit enough for the sake of Rosen.
"Hey. Me and the guys are going out, want to join?" Kayden asked, already knowing my answer. "No" I pushed past him and walked to the living room. Thanks to Kayden's basketball skills he makes a lot of money. I try not to milk off but it's hard not too when you can't even care for yourself. Plus when we do go out Kayden always worries about me more than having fun and I can't have that.
I could hear Kayden's big strides behind me as I walked over to the couch "Come on. What are you going to do sit here and-" he stopped himself.
I took it upon myself to answer his rhetorical question "Yes Kayden I will sit here and mop all day because YOU! Took my baby away from me. I know im probably not the best mother but in fucking trying! You took her away as soon as she was born."
At this point I was standing my hands balled in fist. The day my Val was born I could see the look in her eyes, I knew she would make me happy. "I didn't get to hold her" my voice cracked, I brought a trembling hand to my mouth. Kayden stepped forward, reaching out for me.
I jerked away before turning around and leaving the house. I ran down the flights of stairs as I head Kayden calling after me. I took a shortcut around the corner from the house and ended up at a liquor store. I didn't want anything from here. I didn't even bring money. I was breathing hard as the cold air made my lungs tighten up each breath felt harder and harder to take.
I squeezed my hands to my chest leaning on the brick wall. I slid down bringing my knees to my chest. Everything hurts. I wrapped my arms around my knees and closed my eyes trying to remember a time when I wasn't being tortured to live.
When I wasn't being told I was selfish because I wanted to die. They all preach about how pain is temporary but it feels like I've been in pain forever. I can't wake up everyday missing pieces of myself and continue to act fine.
