Love Is A Dagger- NATASHA ROMANOFF X READER

Part 22- Vibranium Dicks

"So how this should work is that we should expect many of those Vibranium Assassins. we-" Steve begins, you stop him "Okay we need a better name for these assassins otherwise it's just embarrassing to say we are fighting them." Steve gives you a look but you don't back down "Seriously, I quit if we don't come up with a good name" You say flinging your hands up.

"Okay Y/N, no need to be dramatic, any ideas? let's make this quick." Steve said with a bored look. "What about Vibranium Dicks!!" you exclaim, a proud grin spreading across your face. "What if there is a female assassin?" Nat pipes up. "Well they can be vibranium dickless" you say with a smirk. "On a serious note they don't have any. I have checked their records." Bucky says. "See the name works" you reply, Nat shakes her head.

"Any other ideas? Says Steve, no one replies "Please" he adds, desperation hanging in his voice. "Going once, going twice and sold to Vibranium Dicks" you say in a mock male voice. "Quick thoughts, how awkward would it be to get vibranium burnt onto your dick and second, can they still get a boner?" asks Tony. Steve sighs, "Is that an issue right now, tony? Should we be worrying about whether they can still be sexually aroused?!"

"Steve, we should, every man or woman or non binary person has the right to pleasure themselves!" yells back Tony. You and the rest of the gang attempt not to laugh as Steve and Tony begin to argue over Vibranium Dicks. You look at Nat and laugh as Tony defends everyone's rights and Steve argues that we don't need to know. Then the door opens and Fury walks in and everyone looks up "I heard yelling, thought i would come to see what you guys were doing other than planning to take down Hydra."

"I was just discussing people's right to pleasure themselves with this star spangled ass." says tony "Hey, Iron toddler, that's my insult" you yell. "Why?" asks Fury in shock "well we decided to call the Assassins, Vibranium dicks, then Tony was confused on if they could still get a boner then I explained we should stay on topic and now Tony is defending people's fucking right to pleasure themselves."

"Captain, do you kiss your mother with that mouth and second, Tony has a point and third, you have a point." "Take that iceberg, the Vibranium Dicks to have the right to pleasure themselves." "When did I say they didn't!" screamed Steve. "Tony, why are you defending the enemy's right to jerk off?" says Fury "Because Fury, they may be annoying but they are still fucking human!" says tony. You look over at nat and you begin to laugh.

"What's so funny about human rights?" says tony. "Nothing" you and Nat say simultaneously. "So, you are saying that the enemies deserve the right to jerk off?" yells Fury. "you're saying they can't jerk off?!" says Tony "I am not saying they can't jer-" starts Fury then Maria walks in. "Did I interrupt something?" questions Maria "No" you say.

"They are just fighting over whether the vibranium assassins who we have named the Vibranium Dicks would be able to and should be allowed to jerk off." Maria looks perplexed. "Okay, well the Quinjet is ready."she says "Great" says nat "and we don't even have a plan."

"J, Please start Y/L/N's Plan" You say after yelling at everybody to 'Shut the fuck up'. As you were about to click play, someone interrupted you "Umm, I'm here" "WHO THE- Oh, Petey, sit down, I'm about to start" You say, smiling at him. You click play and the video starts.

"Steve, Bucky and I will cover the escapes, Sam and Peter will deal with the security cams, Tony goes in the building with Nat, Bruce is with Clint as backup in the Quinjet and our mode of escape, Bruce is the doctor if we get hurt. Maria is gonna guide us, through the intercom. Is that understood?" Nobody replies, "IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!" Your video shouts, "YES MA'AM" They say, "Good" the video you says with a smile and it pauses.

"You are scary" Bucky says as you smile at him. "Team!" Tony says, sticking his hand out, everybody puts their hand beside the others and they walk with Maria to the Quinjet. "Don't die, we gotta finish what we were doing before Steve's ass entered" Nat says as you smirk "Of course not".