The Blazing Rebellion

Chapter 17

John POV

Without Sera, John was all alone. He didn't have anyone else at the school to talk to. Their silence with each other had continued after the short conversation... It had hurt John to leave, to leave Sera with Arlo of all people, but he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't have waited for her to tell him to go. That would've hurt even more than this. He could already feel that she was pushing him away, but if she'd forced him to leave so she could talk to Arlo it would only hurt more.

A part of John had been tempted to listen at the door for more information about that Spectre thing just so that he when he finally confronted Sera about it, he'd know what he was talking about. However, it was their private conversation; the fact that she hadn't told him about Spectre, too, made it hurt so much John didn't know if he wanted to find out another way. He'd preferred to simply escape the situation.

It hadn't helped to see Remi, Blyke, and Isen outside of the door. Blyke had taken mere seconds to become suspicious and ask John what he was planning. Isen had been cowering behind them, too... John's presence seemed to terrify him. Seeing the three of them like that, more people who hated him, just made everything hurt worse.

John hadn't talked to Sera since he'd left. She hadn't approached him, either. He'd been forced to try and distract himself with classes. Sera was his comfort, but without her, he didn't know what to do... he couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he'd had in the office with his uncle, Alban. John didn't want to train his ability. He didn't want to become even more powerful, to hurt even more people. Just the thought of it made him shudder.

Sera could've convinced him it wouldn't be so bad, but she wasn't there.

John's brain circulated through the same train of thoughts over and over again. He would debate whether it was worth it to try and get more control over his ability, or if he'd just become more dangerous; he'd want to ask Sera what she thought, but then remembered she wasn't speaking to him; he then got stuck on the thought that it was his fault, and he was digging himself into a deeper hole every time he tried to fix things.

He didn't want lunch without Sera there, either. She was who he'd eaten with; eating alone just made John feel worse. The absence of Sera was like a physical wound. Now, he would find places to just wait for his next classes, trying not to think of everything. He'd done the same thing while he was king. It was getting really tiring.

A week later, John sat down in his next class. He was the first one there; everyone else was still coming from lunch. He fought back a wince at the nervous glances some of them gave him. Do they think I'm going to suddenly go insane and beat them all up? He hadn't ever done that in a classroom, but of course they didn't care about that... or the fact that he never wanted to hurt anyone again. Sera was the only one who knew I wanted to change.

Closing his eyes, John leaned back in his chair and waited.

It took awhile for class to start. Just before it did, John caught a glimpse of purple hair. He sat up straighter to watch as Sera crossed the classroom and sat down in her seat, her purple extensions with green highlights falling over her shoulder. He had a sudden urge to stand up and tell her that he was sorry for asking, that he just wanted her back.

He forced himself to bite his lip and continue staring instead. Unfortunately, she chose that moment to turn around and they made eye contact.

John stared into Sera's dark blue eyes for a second before he forced himself to turn away. Just as he did, however, he thought he recognized a hint of the same sadness he felt in them. Was he just imagining it, or did she miss him too? No. I must be imagining it.

He tried to push away the negative thoughts, but it was impossible.

"John. John!" Someone called his name, finally succeeding in distracting him. He looked up to find the teacher staring at him.

"What?" He asked, confused. Had they asked him a question? Glancing at the front of the classroom, John caught sight of the clock. A lot of time had passed as he distracted himself with thoughts... a half hour of class had already gone by. He frowned. Was I really spacing out that much? This is getting out of hand...

"You got called to the Headmaster's office," The teacher told him, eyebrows furrowing. "I was just telling you that you can go."

The Headmaster's office? Again? He'd gone there so many times by now... John bit his lip. Was Alban back already? He sighed. He'd just have to tell his uncle again that he didn't want to do anything with his ability, or with a family member who'd left them.

John stood up and left the room before the teacher would ask again. He walked slowly to the office, dreading the prospect of seeing the white-haired man again. Just thinking about him made John so mad- he'd left John's dad to face the pain of his wife vanishing alone, left John to grow up thinking all he had was his dad and a mother who'd left him. Now he thought he could come back just because John wasn't actually a cripple?! John's hands clenched into fists at his side. He had to pause before entering the office and take a deep breath.

Now wasn't the time to get angry. He couldn't keep acting that way... the anger just caused him more and more problems until they piled up and he was left not knowing what to do. Instead, John set his mind on the simple thought of what he'd say. He'd keep it short this time. After Alban said whatever he wanted to say, John would decline his offer and leave before another argument would begin.

With this thought in his mind, John pushed open the door to the Headmaster's office.