The Blazing Rebellion

Chapter 26

John POV

It took John over an hour to tell Sera everything that had been happening in the past few weeks. He'd had to skip his next class because of it, but there wasn't any way he could've stopped talking; he had a feeling that Sera wouldn't have just let him leave either, not after what he'd told her. He was somewhat relieved by it. She'd been a good audience; she didn't interrupt, not even when he had to pause for several minutes to catch his breath and calm himself down. Sera had simply put a hand on his arm, and it had meant everything to him. She cared. Maybe no one else did, but if he could just have her, that was all that he needed.

He'd given up and talked to her because he knew he couldn't do this alone. Hearing everyone talking about him in class when he'd come back had hurt. He'd known that it would, but that didn't make the sting go away... he'd tried not to break, but his hands had shook the entire class. The words that the doc had told him, the prospect of having a mental illness, had repeated over and over in his head too. It was then that he'd realized he was only falling deeper into something he couldn't escape alone... The doc was right. I do need help.

Luckily, Sera had noticed. She'd texted him about it. Although John hadn't answered, he had come. It had taken a lot to get himself to talk, but when he saw the way she was watching with concern, not with anger, or disgust, or fear like everyone else at the school, he'd been able to tell her his feelings. He told her he was sinking. He was falling apart, and he didn't know how to get back up.

If she hadn't seen that he was struggling, if she hadn't texted to start something, John didn't know if he could've made it past his memories. Having her there made everything less overwhelming. He needed it. I can't do this alone. He was only glad that Sera had come before he'd really given up. John was terrified to think about what he would've done without her support. Mental illnesses, my dad not answering my calls, my uncle and Keon, everyone at the school constantly against me... He shuddered to think about it.

"Hey, John. Are you ready?" A voice asked, startling him. He'd almost forgotten where he was. Thinking about it, he winced and took a deep breath.

"Yeah," He answered, trying to sound more confident than he felt. He forced a smile. "Let's go."

Sera had managed to find some sort of free time for him, but he didn't like where she'd gone with it. The doc had already tested John for mental illnesses with the short quiz, but she was only a school nurse... she'd suggested that he get a test at the hospital, where he could really be diagonsed.

John hadn't wanted to; he hadn't answered the doc's question about it, instead escaping to class, but it had been brought up once again when Sera asked him about the test. She'd somehow managed to convince him that the doc was right, and a professional test would help to confirm it. Maybe then he could get the help he needed. John still didn't want to think about that fact, that he really needed help, but he'd come to the hospital at Sera's urging... he'd just been waiting outside when she showed up.

"John." He looked up. Sera was still standing in front of him, a small frown on her face. She'd seen the worry in his eyes, and the way his hands were shaking. She reached for one of them, giving it a small squeeze. "Are you alright?"

He hated seeing her so concerned. Her dark blue eyes were missing the sparkle that had always been there when he'd joked around in the past... they were still beautiful, though, and John found himself staring at Sera for several seconds before he realized that she was waiitng for a response.

"I'm fine," He told her, clearing his throat and looking away. I will be, anyway, now that you're here... He tried not to think too much more and followed Sera into the Wellston hospital in front of them.

They'd talked with the doc before going, and she'd set up an appointment for John. All they had to do was tell them that they were there and wait. Taking a deep breath, John followed Sera to the front desk of the hospital. He opened his mouth to tell them that he was here.

Moments later, he closed it again, finding that he couldn't speak. The white walls were closing in on him. They were supposed to make the place look clean, but to him, it just felt suffocating... He closed his eyes. I want to leave. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Do I really want to know if the doc was right? If she'd been wrong, though, he would definitely want to know. He sighed.

One of the doctors came out of a room adjacent to the entry of the hospital and called his name after a few minutes of waiting, although it had felt like hours to John. He forced himself to stand up and join the doctor. Sera followed, hesitating outside of the door where the patient rooms were.

"I can wait outside," She told John, probably assuming he wouldn't want someone else there. John's breathing sped up. He forced himself to take a deep breath.

It didn't stop him from reaching for her and grabbing her arm before she could walk away. Sera turned around, a wave of confusion passing through her eyes. "John?"

He'd started to feel like he was suffocating again, sinking under waves of darkness. John forced himself to take a deep breath, letting go of her. It's okay. The worst has already happened... I already know that there's something wrong with me. They're just going to tell me again. Still, he couldn't force himself to leave Sera and follow the doctor.

"Could you... come with me?" He asked slowly, his voice quiet. Sera seemed to understand, staring at him for a second before nodding.

Without another word, they followed the doctor down the hallway and into another room, where John was given a paper to fill out very similar to the one the doc at Wellston had given him. This time, though, he knew what it was for. He'd been tempted to lie, but a glance at Sera reminded him that hiding his problems wouldn't help her... it would only bring her down because of him. He didn't want to be the one to do that, even if she was still hiding things from him.

Taking a deep breath, John forced himself to answer each question with full honesty. When they came back with his results, he was expecting what they told him; the doc had been right. He did have a mental illness. However, that wasn't all.

They started to ask him questions after that. They weren't too bad at first, but they got worse, and John found himself sinking under once again... Sera noticed, standing up from where she'd been sitting on one of the visitor chairs in the room.

"Can we have a minute?" She asked the doctor. The man frowned, but with a glance at John and the way his breathing had quickened, he nodded.

"I'm fine. I could've continued," John told Sera once the doctor had left the room. She sighed, sitting down next to him on the larger patient's chair in the room.

"John, you don't have to hide from me. It'll be okay," She told him. When he didn't look at her, Sera touched his hand gently, giving it a squeeze. John grabbed it in his own before he could think better of it, leaning against her. Sera gave a breath caught in surprise, but she allowed him to stay there.

John's breathing calmed down as he sat by her. Sera's calm presence was comforting. If he couldn't have anything else, at least he could have this... although there was still the problem of his mental illnesses. He tensed at the thought. Sera noticed, frowning.

"Hey." He looked at her. "In the words of my best friend... you." John smiled a little at the comment. Sera smiled back before her expression became serious. "Everything takes time, John. I'll be here."

Even if he hadn't stayed true to that promise he'd made to Sera after she'd lost her ability, he knew she would keep it for him. The past didn't matter now; it only mattered that he could move on from it.

For the first time in awhile, John felt that maybe he could do just that.