The Blazing Rebellion

Chapter 25

Sera POV

Sera didn't look up when the classroom door opened, but when the room went silent and the whispers began, she turned to see what was going on. To her surprise, John was standing in the doorway. He looked a lot like he had when she'd visited him a day ago. There were still dark eyebags under his eyes, and although his hair was gelled, it was way less than usual... His amber eyes were wide as if he'd seen a ghost, and although he was across the classroom at the moment, she thought she could see his hands shaking. Her heart dropped in her chest. She'd thought that maybe coming back to school would do him some good, but it didn't seem like it... he looks terrified. She bit her lip. Will he even talk to me about it if I ask, though?

Sighing, Sera turned her attention away from John and towards the front of the room. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see him approach his seat. The other students in the classroom were still whispering nervously; they probably saw John's tiredness as something to fear, not something that made him human. The fact that no one would change their views hurt, but there was nothing that Sera could do about it in the moment.

"Do you think he's going to attack us? Maybe he only didn't come to school so he could plot something," she heard someone whisper from behind her.

"He looks kind of sick, though..." Another student whispered back.

"That's just a disguise. John tricked us before, too. There's something wrong with him. I hate how he beat up so many people and feels nothing for it," the first student continued. Sera frowned. Was that really what they thought?

Although she had decided not to do anything, she still couldn't help turning to see how John had reacted to this. They weren't seated that far apart, and if she could heard the whispers this clearly, there was nothing to say that he wouldn't, too...

John sat at his desk, his hands clenched in fists resting on the desk. She saw that they were shaking. From the looks of it, he was breathing harder, too. Is he having flashbacks or something? Whatever was happening, John didn't look okay.

Before she could do anything, though, the door to the classroom opened once more and the teacher entered to begin the class. Sera snuck glances at John all throughout the lesson. He'd moved his eyes up to the board, but they were unfocused. He didn't seem to be listening to anything at all. She could see that his hands were still shaky if she stared at them, but otherwise, he'd seemed to hide his feelings well. Anyone else wouldn't have even noticed something was wrong.

Sera glanced at the clock on the wall. Class wouldn't be over for awhile, but she wanted to talk to John. Keeping an eye on the teacher, she snuck her phone out from her bag and held it under her desk, opening her messages. It didn't take her long to find John's name and send a text. She didn't want to push him any more than she already had, but she really was worried... If he doesn't want to talk, he can just ignore it. I'll just give him the option.

She'd sent a message asking to talk on the roof at lunch. Sera would've preferred to talk right after class; however, the conversation would be sure to go long if John was willing to talk, and she didn't want to be the cause of him missing more school. He'd already missed enough as it was. Sera was somewhat shocked that Headmaster Vaughn hadn't made John repeat the year, but whatever the reason he'd let John stay, she was grateful for it. Even if they weren't talking at the moment, it was much easier to get a hold of him when they were in the same school year.

John didn't get his phone out of his backpack during class. As soon as the bell rang, he'd stood up, rushing out of the classroom with the crowd of students. Sera hadn't failed to notice the way that they left a small gap of space around him, leaving him alone even in the busy hallways. She remembered the way that the other students had always done that to her, too, back when she'd been Ace. Since she'd become a cripple, she'd intermingled with the other students. She supposed it was a bit like the opposite for John... now he was separate.

He wasn't in her next class, but Sera had kept an eye on her phone all throughout it. Much to her disappointment, John didn't answer her text.

That didn't stop her from heading straight to the roof when lunch began, however. When she stepped through the door, it was empty. Sera paused by the fence, glancing down at the many students below as she waited for John. He didn't come for several minutes. She had just sat down against the fence and began a game of Angry Pigs, deciding to give John a few games to come before she'd be forced to give up and eat something before lunch ended, when the door opened.

Sera looked up to find John in the doorway. He had come after all. "Hey."

"Hey," John mumbled in reply, staring at his feet. Sera turned off her phone and stood up.

"Are you going to come farther than that?" He looked up, glancing at the door behind him and then back at her. Finally, he stepped forwards and allowed the rooftop's door to close. After another minute he joined Sera by the fence.

"I got your text," he told her. Sera nodded, unsure of how to answer. Does this mean he's willing to talk, or is he just acknowledging it? She hated how awkward and uncertain things had become between them. Deciding simply to break the ice, Sera took a deep breath.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked. John looked up. "You said you were sick last time." She'd known it was more than that, and told him so, but she wasn't going to push.

"Ah... right," John answered, more to the second question than the first.

"I wasn't lying in those texts I sent before. I'm here for you, John," She began. "I hate this disconnect between us... I hate keeping secrets, but-"

He cut her off. "It's fine."

They stood in silence for another minute before John spoke up. "Sera, I..." He started to say, his voice cutting off. She frowned and turned to face him.

"What is it?" John was twisting his hands uncomfortably, biting his lip. He took a deep breath as she watched him.

"I think that- I might-" His voice died out again. She could see that his hands were still shaking as they'd been earlier, his breath coming out in huffs. Sera put a hand on his arm.

"Hey, calm down. You don't have to talk if you aren't ready," She reassured him, wishing she hadn't pushed so much before. She really didn't want to force him into anything.

She tried to think of what he might be saying. He knew she knew Keon had visited. Was he going to talk more about that? He'd already confirmed most of her suspicions about everything. Maybe he's just going to give me more details. Whatever it is that he wants to say, it's weighing down on him a lot... She could tell by the way his shoulders were slumped.

When John finally spoke again, his voice was quiet. "I think... I need help."