45" ▪︎ a.i.

35"

3 months later, Ashton's POV

"And we're back with 5 Seconds of Summer. Hello guys!", the radio interviewer greeted us, and we all said our hellos back. 

"So, tell the audience, what's new? We know you're working on a new album.", he asked, and I knew that question would be coming. It was true, we had finally started on our new album a few days after we returned from tour. Especially Calum and I were the driving force as we suddenly had so much inspiration and even though we couldn't only write sappy love songs, it was what we needed to get started. 2 weeks in the boys and I had packed our bags, left our girlfriends and normal life at home, and went into a wooden cabin for a week to do nothing apart from writing, making music and spending time with each other. No phones, no internet, no signal. It was crucial and brought us even closer together.

While I was lost in thought, Luke had taken the task of answering the question. We couldn't say much anyway. Yes, we are writing a new album. No, we don't know when it will be out, soon though. Yes, we hope that the fans will love it as much as we do. No, it's not ready, but it's coming along great. I don't know how many times I've had to answer these questions already, it was getting boring, but I was thankful people wanted to ask and wanted to know about our music, so I shouldn't complain too much. My mind wandered off to Hazel, who was on a photography spree with Ryan, trying to gain more knowledge. 

"Ashton?" The quiet voice of Calum beside me snapped me out of my thoughts, and I turned my head slightly. 

"You've got to stop drifting off. You haven't said anything.", he whispered, and I knew he was right. This isn't the first time that it's happened. I tried to be more present for the rest of the interview, chiming in once or twice, trying to make up for the lost time. But still, I was glad, when the interviewer announced the next song, and we were told that we could leave. 

"Mate, what's up with you? You can't keep drifting off. Fans will notice and ask if anything's wrong.", Michael said, as soon as we were all in the car. 

"Yeah, you can't just tell them you're daydreaming about Hazel.", Luke added with a smirk. I couldn't say much because I wasn't able to explain why it kept happening. I used to not talk because I was feeling numb or sad, then I didn't stop talking, and now I'm back to barely talking. People will make assumptions and I realize that. I promise them to be more present and they leave it at that. With every new interview I plan to talk more and every time it starts with boring questions that make my thoughts drift off. They all were right though, I had to try harder.

They dropped me off at home and I waved shortly before unlocking the door and kicking off my shoes. I didn't see Hazel's, so she must still be with Ryan. I was glad he was helping her, that would make it easier to convince her to join our next tour, that would be much bigger than the last one. I went straight into the basement after making myself a coffee and decided to make up for my silence during the last interviews by going live on Instagram. I set my phone down so it showed me behind my drums and started the live video. 

"Hello! Just wanted to check in on you guys, maybe play some drums and talk to you. Haven't done that in some time and I feel like y'all missed me...or didn't, but I'm here anyway.", I started, getting more awkward by the minute. I saw likes and comments flowing in and tried to read a few questions. Most were about the new music, some asked if I was alright because I've been so quiet lately. I answered some of them, purposely leaving out questions about my silence in interviews and tried to be as cheerful as possible. After all, I was truly at my happiest, I just had trouble concentrating lately, even though I couldn't make up my mind why that was the case. But I guess sometimes that's just how it was, and I was hoping to be back to my usual self soon.

I could tell the fans were really happy about my livestream. It felt good to joke around with them, answer questions and play the drums for a short time just to see them freak out over it. I had no trouble staying present, which made me think that maybe, it was the interviews that are the reason for my lack of concentration. Maybe they were just too boring, too repetitive. Nevertheless, I owed it to the boys to get my shit together and pay attention more. Deciding to leave the drums be drums for the day, and try my luck on the piano, I walked upstairs. I usually don't write on the piano but consider calling Luke over. I shot him a quick text, not expecting him to reply immediately and sat down at the piano. The ringtone of my phone made me stop before I could even touch the keys, and I saw Luke's reply, saying he was on his way. 10 minutes later the doorbell rang, and I opened the door for him. Sometimes it really was a blessing to live this close to each other. 

"Didn't expect you to say yes this quickly. You alright mate?", I asked while we walked into the kitchen, both getting something to drink before sitting down in front of the piano again. 

"Yeah, I'm just sick of being alone all the time. Calum has Sav, Michael has his video games, and you have Hazel. It's just getting lonely when we're not doing band stuff.", he explained, shrugging it off as if it wasn't important. 

"You're always welcome here, you know that. Most days we're doing stuff apart anyway, she's at the store or off with Ryan, so it's not like I'm busy all the time. Hell, I even did a live stream before because I was alone and wanted to give them something else than silence during interviews. Just shoot me a text and come over." I could tell he appreciated it and I really hoped he would take me up on the offer. We used to spend every minute together, and while it doesn't have to be that way, I'd still appreciate more time together. We left it at that and started on new song ideas. He showed me a small part he had just perfected on the piano, and I was yet again blown away by his ability to write piano parts like this. But I guess my strengths were laying elsewhere.

I was too caught up in coming up with lyrics that I didn't even notice the door opening until Hazel was calling for me. I looked up to see Luke deep in thought in front of the piano, exchanging notes again and again until they felt better. He felt my gaze on him and raised an eyebrow, seemingly not having heard Hazel at all. 

"Oh, hey Luke. Didn't know you'd be here.", she greeted, walking over to me sprawled out on the couch, notebook in my hand, legs on the armrest. She leaned down, kissing me shortly before walking over to Luke, hugging him, and looking at the notes he had written out. I watched her play them once and replay them a second time, changing something. 

"This feels better.", she says, and I couldn't help but be proud of the musician she has become over the past months, always helping me or the boys out whenever we were stuck with lyrics or even musical parts sometimes. Luke played it with her changes and a smile spread on his face, appreciation visible. 

"Are you staying for dinner Luke?", she asked, and Luke's gaze flickered over to me shortly, as if waiting for approval, so I gave him just that. 

"He is. And we're calling it a day. I can't even read the words I write anymore. How was your day with Ryan?" I closed the notebook and got up, joining them both in the kitchen. 

"Great. He's an amazing teacher and I'm really glad he's taking the time to help me get better.", she replied, and I nodded. I knew Ryan would take any chance to teach someone about photography or anything he knew a lot about really. That's just the person he is. 

"Ashton, do you have any new vinyls I don't know about yet?", Luke asked out of the blue and even though it was out of context I took any chance to talk about vinyls and show them off. 

"I do! I visited the store a few days back and found some real treasures.", I replied, already walking off towards my record player, Luke following me. 

"Sure, I'll do the cooking on my own!", Hazel called after us, but I was already too caught up in the music.