I hate you!

Shades of love

There she was tide to the chair, almost naked. Her shirt was ripped off in places. She was tide with a thick rope that was crisscrossing her torso, and neck. She was suffocating, with every movement she made. Her legs were tide to the chair parted in a vulnerable posture. "Annika..."  his voice was crumbling.  Tears started pouring down his cheeks. He ran towards her  like a mad man. " Annika are you okay? Are you okay? Please...please please wake up"  he loosened up the ropes that was binding her, covered her with his jacket. He held her so tight not being able to comprehend the pain and torture she must have suffered. He couldn't stop blaming himself for not listening to her, not protecting her. He had lost. He had lost his Annika. He was feeling as if someone was suffocating him. He held on to her calling out her name " Annika wake up! I know you hate me right now, I know you are doing this to punish me... but come back come back and fight with me! Scream at me tell me what an idiot I am. Toss me in the pool for I care...punch me, hit me...but please please please be with me. I love you Annika I can't live without you...! I love you!" He was breaking down, and breaking into pieces, yearning to hear her voice. As his eyes watered in agony of losing her," Shivaay" she responded weakly.

He lifted her up, and carried her to his chopper. He was carrying her like a baby and was so possessive of her didn't let anyone come near her. He was going to protect her from everything, everyone. Once they reached Oberoi mansion, he carried her in her arms to their room.  Once Annika gained her consciousness she was a wreck. She was holding on to him crying. He cried with her. He gave soft kisses on her head trying to console her. She finally said " Shivaay I feel so dirty, I want to have a shower, I can't I can't I need to have a shower". She was too weak to get up emotionally and physically drained. He cupped her face in his palms and looked at her sincerely " Annika do you trust me?" , She looked into his eyes and knew she was safe with him.  She nodded. He helped her out of her ripped cloths, and placed her in gently in the warm bath, still in her underwear. The rope had cut through her skin leaving a mark under her delicate breasts. She winced as the hot water touched her bruised skin. He gently wiped her down with a warm towel. He washed her hair gently and occasionally gave her a reassuring look making sure she was still okay. He tucked her hair behind her ears and held her face in his palms " Annika, do you feel better?", her eyes were welling up, and she wanted him to hug her. "Hug me Shivaay please please hug me" he got in to the bathtub still fully clothed and huddled her from behind making her feel secure.  He stayed there with her for the longest time, giving her small pecks of assurance that she is safe and cuddling her like a baby. He wanted her to know no matter what he's there for her, she's safe with him, and he's going to protect her. When she finally stopped crying he carried her to their bed, tucked her in and laid next to her spooning her until she fell asleep.

Annika woke up feeling woozy. She was having a nightmare, Raj the monster was too close to her, he was trying to strangle her. She screamed " Shivaaay!!".

"It's okay Annika I am here, I am here , I am right here and not leaving you!" He reassured her.

She started sobbing " But... you did you did leave me"

"I think it was  the other way around Annika" He sighed. "You left me...I never have and I will never leave you you hear me?" He hushed her.

"No you did leave me, you kicked me out like I meant nothing to you!" She was sobbing and punching him on his chest weakly with her half clenched fists. "You never loved me! You always looked down on me because I was a middle class girl? Because I didn't have a fancy name  or royal blood like yours? Because I was an orphan? But I still loved you! You never deserved my love but I loved you....I loved you...I loved you enough to let you go!"

Shivaay knew she was letting out her pain, and he was okay that she was taking out on him. But her revelation of "loved you enough to let you go" was too much for him to process . "What does that mean?" Annika? Annika?" She passed out again. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, tucked her in.
He stood by the mirror staring at his reflection. He ran his fingers through his hair and left determined.