Running Away is easy... It's the leaving that's hard (DSMP "Minors")

Ch.26 Not Like You

Sorry that took a bit longer than usual, writers block yk how it is. Plus I've lost interest in this book lol, still uploading though!
(7/22/23)
—

Sometimes Tubbo will look in the mirror and he'll see flashes of colorful sparks as his ears rang with memories of a loud bang piercing them. He'll see only cruel smiles staring mockingly back at him. Another guilty face meeting his eyes before his world is consumed by painpainpain.

Other times he'll look in the mirror and he won't see himself on the other side. He'll see sharp curling horns and even sharper eyes, the smell of alcohol lingering in the air. Laughing at him. Reminding him of who he could become. Who he almost was.

He'll think too deeply about how they were related. When Schlatt was drunk and not mad at him or Quackity for one reason or another, he'd talk. He'd say things that had Tubbo thinking.

"Too bad you aren't as small as my forearm anymore, at least then you wouldn't speak back to me like this."

It made moments like these worse. If he and Schlatt really were related, what does that make him? Does that mean it's in his nature to be cruel? That it's inevitable he turns out just like the tyrant? Tubbo took a harsh breath.

While Schlatt was cruel and unjust, Tubbo did reluctantly have to admit that the man taught Tubbo so much of what he knows now. He hates it.

He always caught the way Quackity's gaze would sometimes linger a little too long on his own smaller horns before catching on the scar mangling the side of his face and looking away with guilty eyes. He hates the way Techno's eyes would pause on his face the guilt and barely-there regret noticeable in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He knows why Tommy refuses to look him in the eyes, afraid of the clashing emotions that both parties would hold.

Tubbo will close his eyes and be taken back to his own cold gaze as he stood on that podium and compare it to Schlatt's presence that always filled the entire area he was in. He would shudder knowing that he was the judge and he was executioner. Dream be fucking damned, Tubbo is the one who made that decision and he damn well knows it.

Occasionally he'll have vivid dreams of staring at a bright yellowyellowyellow box, but he wasn't the one trapped inside, a fearful look across his face.. Instead he looked right back at Tommy, or Ranboo or even Schlatt who stood inside with terror. Tubbo was unable to move, unable to do a single thing, What made it worse was that when it was Schlatt, trapped in that box, expression filled with fear, he enjoyed it. He felt happy to see one of his tormentors stuck in the very position he had been in.

That was what made him terrified. Terrified of his own mind, of the horns on his head or the tail on his back. Sometimes he'll even look a little to long at a sword after staring at his horns. He'll imagine what it would feel like. Then something would stop him in his tracks and he wouldn't look in the mirror again for the rest of the day.

His vision focused from it's previously blurred state and his gaze landed on his own blood stained knuckles. Fresh cuts oozing with redredred that poured down his arm rapidly. The shattered mirror on the wall reflected a distorted version of his scarred face. He looked away.

Tubbo clenched his eyes shut, matching his shaking hands. He refused to admit he was afraid, he wasn't. Just. Slightly startled. Focusing on the refreshing pain in his knuckles helped keep his thoughts clear. His mind wasn't a safe place for him.

Little dots of filled his closed vision, like stars. He focused on those instead of the thoughts attempting to cloud his mind. Phosphenes. He thinks is what Tommy called them. He continues to think about that so his mind doesn't drift back to... a cruel grin etched on a bearded face. Eyes hazy from his drunken state and hair in disarray as he never bothered to deal with it while in this state. Which was always.

His curling horns were just like hishishis.

He was just like—

A voice cut through his thoughts and over his heavy breathing. He hadn't even realized he was breathing that heavily.

"Tubbo unlock this fucking door before I kick it down myself!"

Tubbo didn't answer, only gritting his teeth and pressing his ears tightly against his skull. Too much fucking noise. He didn't make any move to open the door. And no, it wasn't because he didn't want any of them to see him cry. That's bullshit.

"Tubbo we all heard the glass shatter, most of us here are hybrids. You know this. Plus, Purpled can tell when any of us are hurt. So come on, let us help you. If not then what are we here for?" Tommy continued from outside the door, his voice much softer now as if he knew Tubbo couldn't deal with his yelling.

Tubbo lets out a huff before heaving himself up onto unsteady feet, black dots covering his view the moment he's stood. He holds onto the sink before he collapses back to the ground. Before he can opt out, he throws the door open and steps out, uncaring as he runs into Tommy and shutting the door behind him with a short bang.

He turns to Tommy with a sharp look that he doesn't mean to give, knowing the other is undeserving of it. Tommy gave him a pointed one back, one that Tubbo knew meant he wouldn't be backing down. Tommy was stubborn, and while Tubbo was even more so, he didn't have the energy to retort back. All he could do was prepare himself to... he doesn't know what, but he definitely isn't prepared to talk about his feelings.

He sighs. Whatever, he'd deal with it. He always has.

—

"Hey Pee Pee."

Is the first thing Purpled hears when he walks into the room and he almost immediately walks back out, regretting every life decision he's made up until this point.

"Call me that again and i'll rip you tongue out of your mouth and shove it up your ass." Purpled turned toward the offender with a glare that could rival the 3 suns of his home planet. He found Tommy looking back at him with a cheeky grin on his face, mischief in his expression. Purpled barely held back the urge to throw one of his many knives at his face just to wipe off that stupid grin before his gaze flickered down for a second.

Purpled's glare softened at seeing Tubbo lying with his head resting on Tommy's lap. The brunette staring numbly off into the distance, not acknowledging a thing of his surroundings aside from the occasional flinch at seemingly nothing.

"Tubbo?" Purpled asked softly, the tone of his voice a drastic contrast to what it was just moments before. Tommy's expression smoothed out into something more concerned when the boy was mentioned, looking down at him. The only acknowledgment Tubbo gave that he heard them was a harsh blink of his eyes and a short huff of air.

They left him alone again after that.

—

Meanwhile. A storm was brewing across the horizon.

Servers away, a man stepped through a portal, a grin holding only malicious intent lying behind his mask.

1285
Woo stuffs happening

Have a fucking fantastic rest of your day or night