'Ivy. Mas ayos na ang ganito. Memory loss means new life for her. Ayokong may maalala pa siya'
'Sige. Gawin mo! Everything in my power, we tried to cover you up. Now go. Destroy your name. But don't bring herrera's good reputation to your downfall!'
Pinaniwala nila akong lahat! *Sob. They hide it from me. My parents, I thought hindi nila ako mahal! I thought they were just harsh on me! Then this. I witnessed him killing himself.
"It's already 5 pm! Z, Cliff! Saan na naman kayo pumunta!"
They did this for almost 2 years. Pinoprotektahan ako ng lahat ng hindi ko nalalaman. *Sob.
"D-dad, I need to rest"
"Kailan ka ba makikinig samin Z! Kapag may napahamak? You never understand how difficult it is for us to keep you safe!"
*Sob. Right. Wala akong alam. Pero ngayon, mabigat pa sa akin ang malaman lahat.
"D-dad plea---"
"Stop making excuses! We tried to understand you! And now, I don't know if memory loss was good for you!"
"JILL!"
Dad's words were like a knife. I don't know how to handle this, first javier left me, then my memory came. Everything mixed up. I'm tired. Pagod na pagod na ko.
Sana sinama mo na lang ako Pio. Sana pinatay mo na lang ako.
"OO!" *Sniff
Fuck this life!
"I know everything! I ALREADY KNOW! H-hindi ko siya p-pinatay"
*Sob. I lost everything I had. Nawala yung mga taong pinapahalagahan ako! Kasalanan ko na lahat!
"Z---"
Bakas sa mga mata ni mom ang gulat pati na rin si Mang Tonyo at cliff na parehong hindi makatingin sa akin.
"Each one of you! YOU HIDE IT! YOU FUCKING HIDE IT!"
"Watch your words!"
Dad's voice was so intense. Hindi ko na mapigilan pang maglabas ng sama ng loob. They protected me yet isisisi din nila na wala akong alam. Na hindi ako nakikinig. Na wala akong pakialam!
But the truth is I do. May pakialam ako sa lahat. I just wanted to keep it myself dahil ayokong ipakita sa kanila na nasasaktan ako.
"Listen iha, we did that to spare you from pain."
No. Hanggang ngayon nasasaktan pa rin ako.
*Sob
"I-i know the truth but I was not happy. *Sniff. Dahil alam kong dadalhin ko habang buhay yung guilt na wala akong nagawa para sa kanya"
He deserves to live. Hindi siya masamang tao!
"We have no choice. He's already dead when we reached the hospital. Pero ikaw, gusto naming mabuhay ka. You should live Z. For us, para sa amin ng daddy mo."
*Sob..
"I-i'm s-sorry dad, mom. For causing this trouble"
I don't have anything left. Gusto ko ng makalimot. Ang sakit na.
"Shh. We're here. You will get through this, we promised."
~
Dear Javier, Feb. 15
I promised not to cry anymore. But everytime I remembered you, I can't stop myself but to think how things would be changed if you never left, If I stayed? If I said I love you? My what if's... Through this letter I just want you to know na I'm getting better. Unti-unti nagagawa ko ng kalimutan ka. The case went well. Dad wouldn't let me face the court. But yes, the justice prevail. By now for sure you already know na wala akong kasalanan. So thank you, thank you for letting me grow.
BINABASA MO ANG
Wild Lenses (Profession Series #2)
Romance*Book cover not mine. Credits to the rightful owner! Kelzy Hillary Herrera a famous model and a trouble maker. She had a boy best friend way back in college named Joselito Javier Jr, who was very opposite to her. They are best buddies for years, not...
