Desire for Lust (Urban Novel)Being Edited

Chapter Twenty-Two: ON PINS AND NEEDLES

LUKE POV

I lay on my couch drinking Vodka. I just drunk all my frustration away. My life is ruin. I'm fired from my job. And Abigail left me because of me loosing my job and the big news about me being on the down low. Well it's my fault, I should of never been so greedy trying find any way to sneak my way through life. I know I hurt a lot of people because of my selfish way. Well karma is a bitch and now I'm paying for every penny. I just feel lost in the world. The paparazzi are everywhere I go. I never get a break from the news... thus is too much. I get it... Okay I get it... no need to put it in my face. I'm a horrible man. My soul has lefted my body. I no longer can stand strong so what's the point of living. I take a huge sip out of the vodka and pulled the gun from underneath the couch and aimed it to my head. I have been through hell and I know I'm still gonna be here so why stay here for the torture. I'm a weak individual anyway. I try to stop the tears that came down my face by closing my eyes tight but they seem to fall. Is committing suicide would be the answer to all my problems. Or would everyone judge me more.

At this point I don't care. There's no reason to live. I lost everyone who was close to me. I put the gun on my lap then looked up at the ceiling. Thinking if I should think about it. Maybe I can work the problems I have out. But then it dawn on me that everyone wants to kill me. I aimed the gun back to my temple and soon as I was about to shoot.

KNOCK KNOCK

I stopped in my tracks and put the gun underneath my couch. I wiped my face and got up clumsy and answer the front door. When I swung open the door, there was Samuel. I sigh hard and looked down at my feet.

Samuel had a worried looked on his face. Then he grabbed my hand"you don't have to say anything, it's okay".

He can notice the pain I was going through, as if I had a clear body. Still holding his hand we walk into my house to the living room. We sit on the couch.

Samuel sat across from me. We just stared at each other for a minute. Then it became an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry", Samuel said as his eyes water. I sigh shaking my head.

"Its not your fault.", I said as I slightly smiled.

"It is baby,I... should of never kissed you...I",Samuel stuttered trying to hold back tears.

"Trust me it's not your fault, I was gay way before you came into my life", I said as I sit back in the couch.

Samuel smiled a little bit.

"Look, it's out now, I'm gay I don't have to hide it no more. So what if I'm fired. I'll just work at another hospital or something. I heard Kentucky fried chicken is hiring",I said.

Samuel giggled low.

"That's what I wanted to see from you", I said. Samuel looked confused.

"What your talking about?",Samuel asked.

I said as I look at him"a smile from you, I haven't got a smile from anyone lately, and its good to see a smile ya know."

Samuel said"Well that's what I'm here for. I love you no matter what people may think of us.

I smiled and got up"can I get a hug?". Samuel got up excited and we hugged which led with a kiss.

We sat back down on the couch cuddled up with each other watching tv.

"Oh I gotta tell you something baby",Samuel said. I looked up at him.