ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 (platonic and romantic oneshots)

Incorrect Quotes

Featuring MyBonerIsKNIFE and VengefulCanadian ! all quotes made by an online generator!

Writers block is here for a bit, so why not?

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Knife: The results are in, I'm afraid you have updog...
Vengeful: What's updog?
Knife: Bork! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

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Knife: Guys, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.
Bork, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

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Knife: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Vengeful, used to Knife being dumb: Sure...
Knife: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Vengeful: Okay?
Knife: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Vengeful:
Knife: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Vengeful: Jesus, that one is a little-
Bork, interested: No, no, Knife, keep going.

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Bork: I'm quick at math.
Vengeful: Ok, what's 38 times 76?
Bork: 24.
Vengeful: That wasn't even close.
Bork: But it was quick.

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Knife: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Bork's birthday invitations.
Vengeful: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Knife: "Bork's birthday".
Vengeful: So, what do they say instead?
Knife: "Bork's bi".
Vengeful:
Vengeful: Works out either way.

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Vengeful: Do you have a bobby pin?
Knife: Yeah. *searches in their hair*
Knife: Oh, no, wait. I'm not a nine-year-old girl.

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Knife: What does the doggy say? Bow wow.
Vengeful: What does the kitty say? Meow meow.
Bork: What does the moo cow say? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

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Knife: Tell me a little about yourself.
Bork: I'd rather not, I really like this group.

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Knife: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.
Vengeful: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can't just say blue because there's more than one blue.
Knife: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

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Knife: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Bork: I think you mean cards.
Vengeful: They did not.
Knife, pulling out knives: I did not.

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Bork: I dropped Knife.
Vengeful: Bork, what the fuck.

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Knife: Bork doesn't look very happy.
Vengeful: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

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Knife: *cooking*
Vengeful: *kicks down door*
Vengeful: *grabs knife from Knife's hand*
Vengeful: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Knife:
Knife: What.
Bork: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

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Bork: I mean. Vengeful's just standing there now.
Bork: Waiting for me, I guess.
Bork: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.
Knife: Settled down?
Bork: Well, they only stabbed me once.

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Vengeful: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Knife: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Bork: I ate it too-
Knife: See?
Bork:: -On purpose...
Vengeful & Knife: ...What?

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Bork: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Vengeful: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Bork:
Vengeful: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.

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Vengeful: And here we see Bork and Knife in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Bork: Gaelic bread.
Knife: Grueling brad.
Bork: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

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Vengeful: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

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Knife: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

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Bork: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

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Yeah this was lazy but eh