𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲 | 𝟏𝟖+

LILY

05. DEJA VU

The car smelt of solid pine and sweet citrus, an odd combination, but oddly enough, the smell reminded me of my aunt's house on a winter's day. Whenever she had us over, she'd light her candles and brew us chamomile tea in a small old cauldron she had.

The familiarity calmed me, soothing the unmistakable nerves rising in my throat. I faced away from him as we currently drove to his home. I have yet to know his name.

Xavier let me go without protest, not that he had much say in the matter. Somehow the idea that he so willingly gave me up irked me; an indescribable pain floated within my chest. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

I feel slightly numb over the whole ordeal. I thought I would get over it quicker than anticipated, but it was more untrue than anything. I felt the car reach a screeching halt and rushed to grasp my seatbelt. The continuing sound of honks and angry shouts filled my ears. I only realized he had stopped in the middle of the highway during ongoing traffic.

I also realized I was having a full-blown panic attack in the car.

"I need you to breathe," I hear him say urgently.

My head was pounding; the capacity of air of which I was trying to breathe in the tiny space of the car wasn't enough to fill my lungs' need for oxygen. More honks, more yelling, and screaming. I need it all to stop. Bile started to build up in my throat.

In, out.

In, out.

In, out.

"Lily, I need you to breathe." The voice demands.

Inhale.

I inhaled a sharp breath of air.

Pine and citrus.

Exhale.

I exhaled a shaky breath. I repeated the action. The world around me was spinning, and suddenly my clothes felt too tight. Everyone's looking at me. Don't look at me! I shook my head as the taunting voice of Xavier filled my head.

No one can ever love you as I do. You're mine Lily, MINE!

"LILY!"

I gasped when I suddenly felt large hands on my cheeks grasp my face gently but firmly. My body was hyperventilating and rejecting the need for control. I shoot my hand up to try and take the hands off my face, but they only tighten.

"Open your eyes la mia rosa."

Black splotches skewed my vision, and when I opened my eyes, which were squeezed too shut, I saw him looking at me with slight concern. His face was tight, but his brown eyes showed his worry. I blushed, feeling embarrassed that he had witnessed me having a moment. I couldn't help but just stare at him. If you look hard enough, up close, scattered across his nose and cheeks are tiny light brown freckles on his olive skin tone like little stars. I breathe in his distinguished scent.

Pine and citrus.

My eyes flutter shut at the comfort that washes over me. I feel his thumb caressing my cheek in several strokes; warmth spreads through my body. I leaned into his palm for more comfort, but the feeling quickly faded when I realized where we were.

"Hey, get the fuck off the highway! You can't park here."

I jumped as a furious knock sounded on my side of the car on the window. I looked over to see a middle-aged white man glaring at me through the window, and all I could do was blink at him. "Yeah, I'm talking to you bitch!" He practically screamed at me, and I thought I'd seen spit fly out his mouth. All too soon, I hear the opposing door slam shut.