𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲 | 𝟏𝟖+

LILY

010. IGNORANCE IS BLISS

A year ago

"He can't just give me away!" I yell at my mother.

She rubs a hand down her face, a tired sigh coming from her red lips. "I don't have a choice in this, Lily. Can't you see that?" she says in response. I was fuming. The entirety of my being was fiery hot; I could practically feel the steam of anger coming out of my ears.

"I don't want this. This isn't fair!" I shout, frustrated at how calm my mom is right now, given the situation.

My father passed away a week ago due to lung cancer. They operated on him, and he didn't make it halfway through the surgery. They said there was too much damaged tissue, and even if they wanted to give him transplants, it would take months to get them. We had found out from the head surgeon that my father didn't just die due to common lung cancer. He died because of various drugs found in his lungs, both old and new; more specifically, large amounts of methamphetamine.

My mother started balling her eyes out when the surgeon told us this. She couldn't believe her husband could do such a thing, and neither could I.

My mother shot up from her seat on the couch and pointed her finger in my face. "I understand this isn't fair, but we don't have a choice, Lily! Your sister ran out on us and is god knows where!" her eyes were teary and bloodshot-evidence of her obsessive crying and drinking.

"When they said your father left a will for us to read, I didn't know there was an added contract; I didn't ask for this either, okay!" she shouted back, heading to her bedroom.

I follow her. "Well, let's fix it then. We can talk to Xavier's family and give them some money and call off-." She twirled around to face me, shouting, "There is no more money, dammit!"

I look at her, confused. "What? What do you mean there's no money? Dad-."

"Your stupid junkie of a father used it all at casinos and on his fucking drugs Lily! There is no money, not a. Single. Fucking. Penny. . .he left us with nothing," she slurred in a thick tone, collapsing her drunken body on the bed.

I stare in disbelief and stalk off down the hall. "I'm calling Winnie." I heard my mother scoff at the idea.

"There's no point I already tried. She probably ran off with that boyfriend of hers. I don't know where though, fucking brat," she called out to me from her bedroom.

Dammit, Winnie.

I tried anyway, but it went straight to voicemail, as my mother said. I left her a message despite my mother's words, knowing she was probably blowing off steam somewhere.

"You know I love you, right."

I turn to my mother, who is now leaning against the wall with a bottle of gin. I wince at the sight, my heart tugging painfully, and it felt hard to breathe under her crazed stare.

All I could do was stare at her and vice versa, but her eyes were glazed over and red. Dad would have been angry seeing her getting back into her old drinking habits, but he's not one to talk, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't.

He's a dead man. A dead junkie, another name forgotten, like a whisper in the wind.

I'll never know whether or not my dad was well known around these parts. He was a private man, and I never knew his occupation. I thought he was doing real estate. It sucked, having the memories of your loved one ruined, tainted by lies, coverups, and secrets that were once all a hoax in a little girl's mind.

Winnie and I were inseparable. She was my older sister, and I loved her to bits; and when I told myself that she wasn't coming back anytime soon or possibly ever crushed me. Our parents never had the best relationship, and when things got out of hand, she was always there for me, protecting me, but now I have to fend for myself. Now that Winnie's gone for good, I have no one to turn to besides myself. No way in hell was I going to lean on my mother for sympathy; she'd just offer me alcohol.