tw / / self-harm
The biggest disappointment of the family "Ramuro". The first time I heard that, I got hurt. My heart was shattered into pieces. I wasn't prepared to hear and received those below-the-belt criticisms. Kailan man ay hindi ako nakarinig ng mga masasakit na salita galing sa ibang tao. I always got praise not until they noticed the changes in me... The changes that I didn't intentionally choose, I had to walk to that path to survive... My trauma made me walk through it.
"S-saan kami nagkulang, Ace?" Tatay's voice cracked, "Anak, saan nagkulang si Tatay?"
I gulped the lump in my throat.
"N-nasobrahan ba kami sa pagmamahal namin sa 'yo? Nagkulang ba kami? Did we do something bad? Did we hurt you? B-bakit naman ganito ang sukli mo sa amin?"
Umiling ako. I want to defend myself but words escaped my mouth... I was shaking while my tears continuously fell.
"The church doesn't trust me because they thought... I failed as your father."
My heart tightens.
"H-how will I lead the church when I can't lead my daughter? H-how can I spread His word when... my daughter refuses to accept my words?"
A tear pooled down his cheeks.
"I-I did my best to be the best Tatay to you..."
Biglang bumukas ang pintuan at iniluwa no'n si Mama. Her eyes filled with tears.
"I am so done with you, Laura Solace!"
She slapped me.
Yumuko ako. Dinama ko ang hapdi ng pagkakasampal n'ya.
"Hinayaan ka namin sumama sa iba't ibang lalaki! We gave you the freedom you want... even if that freedom destroyed our family! Did you hear anything from us?!"
I didn't hear anything from my family... but their eyes speak what their minds want to shout. They are disappointed... ashamed of me. Oo, hindi ko naririnig pero nakikita at nararamdaman ko.
People gossiped about me, not minding if I'm just a few inches away from them. Their sharp words passes through my ears but stayed inside my heart, hanggang sa nasanay na ako sa kanilang mga salita... hanggang sa naging manhid na ako... hanggang sa nawalan ako ng pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao sa akin.
My trauma made me choose this path... but the people around me pushes me to continue what my trauma started.
"N-nagkulang ba ako?" she asked the same question my father asked me.
Nanginginig ang braso n'ya. She covered her eyes with her palms. Humagulhol si mama... My mother cried because of me.
"Maybe they're right, nagkulang nga talaga ako bilang Ina... I was busy teaching other kids to be better people. I-I was busy looking at other kids' mistakes to correct them... But my own child, I failed to protect her from wrongdoings."
Mas lalo akong umiyak. My heart feels like someone stabbed me multiple times.
"P-please... Hear me. Mama, Tatay... T-trust me."
She stared at me tiredly.
"I'm tired of being your mother, Ace. I-I wish... you were born with different parents."
Pagkatapos n'yang sabihin iyon ay bumukas ulit ang pintuan. Nycka and Yves appeared on it.
"I-I saw Nycka getting bullied," pagod na wika ni Yves. She then looked at me with so much anger and disappointment.
BINABASA MO ANG
Consolation In Distress (Consolation Series #1) COMPLETED
Romance"I met him, we broke up, I went back, I found him laughing with his new solace." Have you heard your relatives saying that you're the biggest disappointment of your family? Have you heard strangers calling you hubadera at maagang lumandi without kn...
