tw / / rape, mention of social anxiety disorder
"She raped me."
Three words and it also triggers me but more than focusing on my shaking hands and racing heartbeat, I focused on listening to him even if It means neglecting what I feel.
"i-I am a man but... a woman raped me."
Nanigas ako sa inuupuan ko. I feel like I was talking to myself pero ang pinagkaiba lang ay lalaki siya at babae ako.
I somehow feel what he felt. The feeling of you want to ask for help but you can't shout, you want to fight but you don't have the power and the feeling of being hopeless and weak... That day I felt like He abandoned me.
Parang nilubayan ako ng mundo noon, tinalikuran N'ya ako. Can you blame me? I wasn't prepared to experience that hell nor I'm expecting it to happen. Maayos ako nang pumunta roon sa bahay nila pero napuno ng sakit at hapdi ang buong pagkatao ko nang makalabas ako... and worse is until now, I'm still in great pain and I haven't received a single apology from them.
"N-no one believes me... even my own father thinks I'm creating stories."
Suminghot siya bago muling nagsalita.
"S-she forced me to touch her... to put my f-fingers inside of her. Sa una ay ganoon ang palaging nangyayari... pipilitin n'ya akong hawakan siya and every time I hear her moans, diring diri ako sa aking sarili. I-I was young at that time but my eyes were already opened to sexual activities. "
He can't be me. Everything he says brings back the nightmare that no one knew about... isang tao lang ang nakaalam ngunit pinili n'yang paniwalaan ang sa tingin n'yang katotohanan.
"S-she would rip her clothes in front of me and I-I couldn't close my eyes because she glued a scratch tape at the upper and lower corner of my eyes... I saw how she t-touches herself while seductively staring at me. She's crazy for arousals."
Kumulo ang dugo ko. Fuck that woman for molesting my man. I am fuming mad and at the same, I'm scared for myself. Natatakot ako na baka dahil sa maririnig pa ay bigla ko siyang takbuhan at iwanan. He's not just sharing his story, he's also reminiscing my yesterday.
"And one day, I-I woke up with someone touching my... t-thing. Gulat na gulat ako. S-she was recording while touching me! I didn't feel satisfied nor happy with it, I felt molested! I felt powerless... I felt hopeless."
"H-hey, don't force yourself. If you're not yet ready."
I advised not just because he's having a hard time but also for my sake, I can't bear to listen to how that fucking woman molested my man. Hindi ko pa kayang makarinig ng kuwentong minsang naging kuwento ko rin dahil maraming alaala ang nanunumbalik sa isipan ko. Every word that came out of his mouth is giving me discomfort.
"But that's not the worst part, baby..." parang batang nagsusumbong. "Noong nag overtime ang ama ko, s-she took that as an opportunity to go inside my room and r-raped me. I was crying loudly but she was just smirking and continue riding my dick," pagpapatuloy n'ya.
I want to cover my ears and just forget about everything he says but I can't, because I don't want him to feel less understood. I don't want to ruin his sense of safety and trust. The last thing that I will do is invalidate his feelings and make him feel unworthy of comfort.
"H-hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I was too weak to shout for help. Hinang hina ako at diring diri sa aking sarili. I don't even want to lay a hand in my own skin..."
Dawn gasped for air. His tears kept on flowing like he hid those for a long time.
"She repeatedly raped me... Twice a week? Thrice? Fourth? I lost counts... Ang alam ko lang ay naging sex slave n'ya ako. Binaboy n'ya ako."
BINABASA MO ANG
Consolation In Distress (Consolation Series #1) COMPLETED
Romance"I met him, we broke up, I went back, I found him laughing with his new solace." Have you heard your relatives saying that you're the biggest disappointment of your family? Have you heard strangers calling you hubadera at maagang lumandi without kn...
