Consolation In Distress (Consolation Series #1) COMPLETED

Chapter 25

You don't need to be strong all the time.

Aren't we being strong every day?

Showing vulnerability is being strong. Crying is being strong. Being unproductive but waking up from bed is strong. Rest is strong.

People portray being strong as someone who moves their muscles and builds up sweats while emotionally wrecked, but not staying in bed till midnight. Some dare to say that they are being lazy without checking their mental state. People have to realize that not everyone is given the chance to have the energy to do their daily routine. Minsan ay ang simpleng pagmuklat ng mga mata ay malaking bagay na, ang pagsisipilyo ay progreso na.

"Pinalaki n'ya ako na dapat hindi umiiyak ang lalaki, na dapat kapag nadapa ay babangon agad at huwag magpapakita na nasaktan ako dulot ng pagkadapa. Bata pa lang ako, I was forced to act strong."

Hindi ako sang-ayon sa sinabi n'ya pero pinili kong manahimik at making sa kan'ya.

"I looked up to my father because he's such a brave and strong man. I aspire to be like him, who never experienced losing and was always at his best. I praised everything he do when I was a kid, kahit ang simpleng pag kain n'ya lang ay tinitingala ko."

Dawn was playing with my fingers while talking about his father.

"He was a perfect father to me, a perfect husband," he sighed, "But some people will never feel contented with what they have. Kahit maayos naman ang nasa harapan, pipiliin pa ring mag talikod para makahanap ng panibago."

"Hmm?"

"It's just... if she's only contented with us, I could be living a better life, a happy life."

He looked at the star and traveled his hand through the air, animatedly drawing an image of someone.

"But I won't blame her. S-she's now  at peace."

Napasinghap ako sa sinabi n'ya. Is he referring to his mom? Tila nabasa n'ya ang nasa isip ko.

"Yes, my mom is now a star who gives light to my pathway."

Malungkot akong ngumiti, "Hi, Tita. I'll take care of your son, I promise."

I kissed his cheeks.

"Thank you for giving birth to Dawn. Thank you for taking care of him when he was a kid, you raised a good and strong man. Wala man po kayo ngayon dito, hayaan n'yo po akong alagaan siya. Hindi ko maipapangakong hindi na siya iiyak at masasaktan, pero maipapangako ko po na nasa tabi lang n'ya ako palagi sa tuwing luluha at masasaktan siya."

"I missed her so much," his voice cracked, "Miss ko na ang ngiti n'ya, ang malambing n'yang boses, at ang malambot n'yang mga haplos. I missed everything about her and I know, that even if I pray countless times, I won't see her smile, hear her voice, and feel her touch. I couldn't do anything but to miss my mom... because she's now in heaven."

That's the saddest part of losing someone permanently. Everything about her will only stay as memories. Magiging alaala nalang ang boses at haplos n'ya dahil hindi na ito mauulit.

You won't be able to hear her sweet voice. Minsan ay umaabot na sa punto na hindi na maalala ang boses n'ya sa tagal n'yang nawala. The only thing that could remind you of them is their memories, the good and the bad ones.

"I-I want to hear your voice again, mom. I want to have a mother, again."

I bit my lips to suppress my incoming cries.

I am being empathetic, again. I feel his pain. I feel his longing for his mom. I understand what his heart is telling him.

"After my mother left me, I also felt like I lost a father..."