If I could turn back the time, I'll go back to where I first saw him... crying and asking for help. I will still do the same, I will wipe his tears and rub his back, however, I will not ask to be his consolation in distress.
I will not empty my cup just to fill his cup. I will protect my peace before protecting his; I will heal my scars before healing him.
Dahil iyon ang dapat.
May kasalanan siya ngunit ako ang mas may kasalanan.
I blamed myself for getting tired of him. He didn't ask for it, I offered him. Ako ang lumapit sa kan'ya. Ako ang nag bigay ng sarili at oras ko sa kan'ya.
I hate how soft-hearted I am. And now, because of it, I lost someone who accepts all my flaws and imperfections. I lost the only person who believes that there is something good in my heart despite everyone's defining me as a rebellious and bad person. I lost a man who loves me, without looking at my past.
I lost him and I also lost myself.
Nandito ako ngayon sa loob ng club. Pakiramdam ko ay unti unti na naman akong bumabalik sa dati.
I smirked at that thought. Siguro nga ay ganito na talaga ako. I'll be forever caged in this place; loud, dark, and wild. Dito, walang may pakealam sa gagawin ko dahil parehas lang kami ng hinahangad... ang makalaya sa relayidad.
Kaya nga siya pumunta noon dito para makalaya sa relayidad n'ya, para makalimutan ang nakaraan n'ya kahit sa ilang oras lamang.
What the hell? Why am I thinking about him, again?
"Tangina..." I cursed.
How can I move on when I have memories of him in every place that I love? Damn it!
Nevermind. I don't think I can move on from him. I don't think I can love another man after him. Siya ang buhay ko. Kahit wala na kami, siya pa rin ang tinitibok ng puso ko and it fucking hurts. The thought of loving him from afar hurts. Alam ko na balang araw, makikita ko siyang may hinahawakan at hinahalikan. May kinakausap habang ang kislap sa kan'yang mata ay hindi mawala mawala. He will love someone else, I'm sure of that. While me? Hindi na ako makakaahon pa sa kan'ya. I will just wait in another universe for him. Maybe, we will keep loving each other there. Sa ngayon, mamahalin ko nalang siya nang palihim. Habang buhay ko siyang hihintay.
My thoughts were interrupted when someone clapped his hand in front of my face.
"You're here to have fun, not to stress yourself."
Hindi ko na nilingon ang taong nag salita. Sa buong linggo kong narito sa club ay siya lang ang may lakas na loob na lapitan at kausapin ako.
"Leave me alone, Stan."
"You know my answer to that."
I rolled my eyes and just drink another shot of tequila.
"Have you eaten your dinner before drinking?"
Umiling lang ako bilang sagot. I actually didn't eat anything. I woke up around 7:00 PM earlier because I went home late last night and went back to the club. Ganito ang palagi kong ginagawa noong mga nakalipas na linggo.
He sighed, "You should eat first. Dapat may laman ang bituka mo bago uminom. Look at your stomach, may baby bumps na tuloy."
I glared at him. Stan only laughed at my reaction.
Kung hindi pa n'ya sinabi, hindi ko mapapansin. I'm gaining weight. My stomach rolls are very visible especially when I'm sitting. However, my shoulders feel the same.
"Baby bump? I'm not pregnant. I just gained weight."
"But you're still the most beautiful..." he whispered in my ears. He went closer to me and rested his hands on my stomach. Pinaglaruan n'ya iyon.
BINABASA MO ANG
Consolation In Distress (Consolation Series #1) COMPLETED
Romance"I met him, we broke up, I went back, I found him laughing with his new solace." Have you heard your relatives saying that you're the biggest disappointment of your family? Have you heard strangers calling you hubadera at maagang lumandi without kn...
