Every time I see pictures of me when I was younger, I envy her... Why did she let those things happen? Why is she so innocent and didn't fight back? If she didn't let fears consume her, things would not have turned how it is today. I wouldn't be in this situation if she fought back.
But mostly, a genuine smile curved on my lips. I'm happy she was happy. My younger self lived her life without trauma, she lived with pure happiness that I failed to live with.
My life after what happened that night completely changed. I became the person I least expected to be. The innocent sweet baby girl became a bold and dark lady.
I lived with trauma and until now, I'm living with it. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakalaya sa bangungot na iyon.
I am trying to forget those memories but it won't leave me. I am trying my hardest... I almost begged Him to let me hit by a car so I could lose my memories.
"You're afraid to hurt him but you're not afraid of the consequences that he might hurt you," ani Yves.
I swallowed my pride before I decided to ask for Yves' perception about my feelings for Dawn. I wanted to ask my friends but they don't know much about him, ayokong pahabain ang explanation ko sa kanila kung sino si Dawn at kung saan ko siya nakilala. If I go to Yves, she doesn't need an explanation. I didn't even see the surprise in her eyes after I admitted the truth.
"It's nowhere my concern. I've been dealing with guys for a very long time, do you think he'll cause me pain?"
The truth is, I'm also afraid for myself. Naranasan ko ng magmahal at masaktan dahil sa pagmamahal. I was once a broken-hearted woman because of a guy who doubted my love for him.
Our breakup wrecked me.
Leigh was my first boyfriend. Siya ang unang lalaking minahal ko. I gave my all to him, even my virginity kaya noong pinili n'yang talikuran ako, I didn't believe in love anymore.
How will I believe in love when my man chose to believe other's words than his woman's explanation? He didn't trust me enough, instead of staying with me that night, he made me leave. His love for me is shallow yet, my love for him is everything. That's my mistake, minahal ko siya na wala ng natira sa akin.
I was the victim but it's still my mistake.
Ginahasa ako pero ang sisi ay nasa akin.
Saan ako maghahanap ng lakas para magmahal ulit pagkatapos ng nangyari?
"When you love someone, they have the advantage to hurt you, to put you to hell... Kapag nagmamahal ka, nasasaktan ka. It's part of the process of building a strong relationship. It's not always feeling butterflies in your stomach, it is also feeling the bullet in your heart."
"You learn a lot from your relationship with Christian..."
She chuckled softly, "I did..." her face became serious, "But I'm happy for you. After years of wearing boys as your masks in pain, you found a man who will remove your mask and help you deal with being naturally fierce."
She held my right hand and smiled sadly at me.
"I know you've been hiding a lot of nightmares in your heart and we're sorry for not noticing it earlier. We judged you so quickly like what others did to you, wala kaming pinagka-iba sa kanila..." she sighed, "We don't know what's behind your emotionless eyes, but I wanted you to know that we're here with you now. Hindi na kami katulad noon na hinusgahan ka kaagad. You can tell us your secrets even if we're already late... We will try to help you."
"S-stop~"
"We are sorry for not listening to you... Hindi kami naging mabuting pamilya sa 'yo, hindi ako naging mabuting ate."
BINABASA MO ANG
Consolation In Distress (Consolation Series #1) COMPLETED
Romance"I met him, we broke up, I went back, I found him laughing with his new solace." Have you heard your relatives saying that you're the biggest disappointment of your family? Have you heard strangers calling you hubadera at maagang lumandi without kn...
