" The happiness in your life depends on the quality of your thoughts."- Marcus Aurelius
I took out the letter out of my bag and looked at it carefully. I opened the letter slowly and began to read.
"Dear my best friend, Alannah,
There are so many things I want to write in this letter. First of all, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being such a good friend for me for the past years. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a great friend like you in my life."
I stopped reading the letter, looking at Ivy. "I'm grateful to have a friend like you too, Ivy." I said, while wiping my tears.
"You know... there are a few things that I did not tell you. Because I don't want to burden you anymore. I felt guilty sometimes... Alannah, to be honest, there were times where I felt like giving up and wanted to end all of the misery I felt. However, you gave me support and strength for me to hold on just a little longer. I am thankful for that."
I paused for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. I thought to myself, "It really must've been difficult for Ivy and she did feel demotivated to live sometimes."
My eyes shifted back at the letter. I was almost there to finish reading the letter. I sighed heavily before continue reading the letter.
"Alannah, I hope that you will be alright without me. Please don't be mad at me if... Just if... we somehow lost contact or may not be able to meet each other again. I believe this is for your own good. I just felt sorry for burdening you with my problems all this while. I just cannot bear seeing you stressed and feel burden. I sincerely wish you happiness with Jeremy. I will always pray for you, my dear best friend. Please don't ever blame yourself for everything that happen to me. I am sorry for doing this and thank you for everything."
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I cupped my hand, crying loudly. I cannot stop myself from crying after reading her letter.
I heard the sound of the door opened. I turned around and saw both Joshua and Jeremy. I quickly wiped down my tears and hid the letter in my bag.
"Hey Alannah. Sorry we're late. There was a heavy traffic on the way to the hospital." Joshua said.
I gave him a nod and gestured him to take my seat. Joshua gave me a smile and turned to look at Ivy.
"Hello my girl. How are you? Guess what did I buy for you today? It's your favourite flower and a stuffed toy. White daisy and a rabbit plushie!" He said, cheerfully.
I blinked my tears, trying not to burst in tears. Jeremy held my hand. I looked at him and he signaled us to go outside.
"Can we talk?" he mouthed. I nodded in agreement.
We walked towards the café and took a seat. He looked at me for a few seconds and asked me a question, "Are you okay? I noticed that you looked a bit down when Joshua and I came in. You were crying, didn't you?"
I avoided his eye contact and replied, "No. I am fine. I did not cry. There was something in my eye." I faked a laugh and smiled at him. He raised an eyebrow and sighed, "Alannah, I know you more than you think. So, please don't hide your sorrows from me. I will always be here to help you, my love."
I wiped my tears and gave him a hug. I smiled and said, "Thank you so much, my love. Now, shall we go and accompany Joshua? He must have been wondering where we went to."
We spent an hour visiting Ivy and the three of us bid goodbye to each other.
The next few months went by and Ivy was still in the same condition. Her family came to visit her every day and took a good care of her. Joshua also visited her every week and bought flowers for her. Both Jeremy and I visited Ivy every fortnight since the semester already started.
It has already been 6 months since the incident. Now, it is already December, the winter season. My 2nd favourite season after spring.
I visited Ivy this morning. The weather is really cold and I looked around the scenery outside. I gave a smile, "Ivy, it is already been 6 months and winter season already. Do you remember when we go to the ski resort last winter? It was fun, right?"
I sighed heavily and mumbled to myself, "I wish that you can see the first snow for this year like you always do, Ivy. I remembered that you would always make a wish every time when you see the first snowfall."
