My book

to a 15 year old girl

A message from a 14 year old girl to a 15 year old girl.

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sana buhay ka pa para mabasa mo ito HSHAHAHAHASHAH

anyway...

Hi, 15 year old Lyra.

How are you? Doing good or nah?

Honestly, I can't imagine myself to be a 15 year old soon. Like I can't imagine this 12 year old way before quarantine started is turning 15. Worse, I can't imagine myself as a 18 year old girl! I feel like I'm still 12 today and not 14. I just cannot belive that I'm already old, char HSHAHSHAAHA

Pero pramis, I still can't believe na 14 na ako at ikaw ay 15 na. I can't see any growth in me! Like my height! Ugh, my height! My height back then was 149 cm and 2 year later, I just grow like 4 centimeters! I'm 4"11 in my 153 centimeters height!

Why really the heck is my height like this?

I have ask my mom days ago (because that was the day my height was taken) if my height was really 153cm? I asked if maybe she measure it wrong but she said no! TWICE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!

but that it okay, what's not okay is my weight. you know I'm very insecure of my weight and because of that I wear oversized shirt to hide my fat. I stll want to think that I still do HSHAHAHSHA. I am very insecure of my body. I don't like it.

My weight back in 5th grade was 39, in 6th grade is 49, and now it's 53 and I'm in my second year in junior high. I now my classmates weight because of the form we sign. Most of them were like weighting 40-45, I really envy them.

I badly wanted to exercise but I'm afraid to be a laughing stock in the household. They'll probably would think that I'm insecure and have a talk with me and I don't want that. I just want to be skinny like everyone. Even if you say that it's alright to have a weight like this, that it's normal to be fat when you're just a teen. NO IT'S NOT. Just please stop.

This is one of the main reason why I have social anxiety. Is because I'm always thinking that they might not like me because of how I look. That they are judging me even if they might have not. It scared me.

I was really scared and nervous communicating with someone. I always get panic attack and would have to take a very long time to calm down (maybe just a short time but for me it was really a long time while having a panic attack). I have to walk around or fidget my cold fingers to stop shaking.

I have a asymmetrical face. Another reason why I'm insecure. I hate my face. My dark circles under my eyes. I wished I wouldn't have stay late in the past. But it's probably okay.

...moving on.

I am very curious what had happened in the world a year later. Is face-to-face back? Are you perhaps doing fine? Okay, okay I'll save that for later. The questions I mean, I prepare many questions for you hehe.

Okay so yeah! I wanted you to know that whatever choices you have made, that is alright. I know you won't do anything stupid (perhaps...) and uncool but I really hope that you'll know your worth.

All my 13 year old life is probably a wholeixed feeling. I got depressed way back in March. Got fine and doing well but my sadness once again said they forgot theur shoes and came barging in house, returned around May to April. Yes, I was sad in that months but I recovered! Wo-hoo!! I have gone outside for the first time in June because of my cousins debut and I had a lot of fun, hehe. And so on, I got in second year of my junior school and I'm doing fine! Just normal (or not) study stress. Christmas came and I received a total of 1100 pesos! 5 days later and it's 2022, we celebrate and have a lots of fun. Though I wish I could have more fun that I had but it's okay!!! Fast-forward and now there's a 14 year old girl typing this.

So now, I look forward to another year but older and hopefully more mature :)

Onto the questions of a curious 14 year old girl to the 15 year old girl next year:

1. I cut my hair short this January, did you cut it also or did you let it grow longer?
2. Did you have a loss of weight?
3. Do you still watch Disguised Toast?
4. Have you write a complete story?
5. What is you height?
6. Fav song?
7. Current song playing? (mine is This guy's in love with you, pare)
8. Is face-to-face back?
9. Are you doing fine in your studies?
10. Did you made any friends? (prolly no...)
11. Are your classmates still the same as 7 and 8th grade?
12. Popular anime right now?
13. Is the house still the same?
14. What strand did ate Loudette took for Senior High? (I'mma guess HUMMS)
15. Do you now know what strand you'll take for senior high?
16. Any particular job you're eyeing for?
17. Have you gotten better at drawing?
18. Do you still love Haruno Sakura? (u better be)
19. How many comebacks did ENHYPEN did?
20. Do you still have your @wonielyf twt account?
21. I heard that ENHYPEN will make a comack this upcoming June, was it? Is it true?
22. Fav songs by ENHYPEN?
23. Is Yang Jungwon still your bias?
24. Do you still own your dark purple jacket?
25. After Miss Gwy finish Our Yesterday's Escape, does she write the 2nd gen? Or a different series?
26. Is the Game Series by Miss Eydee now finish?
27. Is the Yours Series done?
28. Is there an ongoing story in the series of The Viste Siblings?
29. Is A Royal Visit In Brookly and Rebels Heart by Miss Chennie done? What are the ongoing stories?
30. Wait i forgot, did Kierra and Shan end up together?
31. Did they have a child?
32. Is the Anagepanism something series by Miss Li/Alluringli ongoing?
33. Did the 12 songs Lilypichu wrote had been released? If u don't know one of the songs are called "Not To Late" and one of the songs go like 1,2,3 let's watch a show. i watch the sun started to grow something you know.
34. Had Miss JF finished Isaiah's story(Serial Charmer)?
35. Status of Hugo and Jillian story?!?? Is it now published and is it a paid story?
36. South Boys #5?!?!??
37. Your grades in 1st quarter of being a 9th grade student?
38. What hobbies do you do?
39. Worst thing had happen??
40. Have you tried dancing??? (hoping u did)
41. Do you exercise?
42. Are u still close to Gio?
43. Is Lianne still lazy to do school works?
44. Is ate Loudette still only need one day to finish 2 weeks worth of school works?
45. Is Kylo able to speak na?
46. Are you and Kylo close?
47. How did u celebrate Christmas?
48. New Year's?
49. What episode currently on En-o'clock? Right now is 25, I don't know if they'll release one today.
50. Last but not least! Do you know how much I love you? ♡(ӦｖӦ｡)

Hello, you have reached the end. I really appreciate and thank you so much for answering curious questions.

A reminder from a younger self: YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE IMPORTANT! YOU ARE SPECIAL! YOU ARE KIND! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  AND IF EVER YOU THINK THAT NO ONE LOVES YOU, HAVE YOU EVER FORGOTTEN GOD? GOD LOVE AND ACCEPT NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You did a great job today, thank you for existing, sweetie. I love you, keep going.

Happy Birthday!

love, your dearest fourteen year old self.

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2/24/22